Why some women can let go and others can’t

Recently I had a discussion with a friend about why some women cannot let go during sex. I know, sex again, sorry for that, but this was something we talked about. I think this is rather controversial, because I know that my idea does not apply to every woman. Besides, I don't want to offend anybody and hope this is not misunderstood completely.

There is a growing group of women who have trouble in bed, they more or less do in bed, what they do in their jobs: they are persistent and assertive, they use their intellect where they should not, in my opinion, they should listen to their heart, or better, follow their emotional guide and if they think at all in bed, it should be maybe more about how they feel in this moment with their partner. This is not directly connected to DD or D/s relationships, I think that rationalising about everything in bed is deadly for every kind of intimacy and horrible, because I think this behaviour creates pressure in bed, where fun, peace, ease and being relaxed should be the only important bit to care for. It reminds me of people who go on holiday, are overactive all the time, just because they want to fill any minute with activity and have no chance to relax at all, instead when they return home, they are more exhausted than ever. I believe, this cannot be healthy.

My point is about women and what happens in bed, though. Among friends, I have heard more than once that some put this kind of pressure onto themselves in the bedroom. Actually, I connect this kind of behaviour with what men tend to do, also in the bedroom, being focused on success, and probably also with a certain kind of aggressive attitude behind it. For me, this sounds like a horrible experience. I always thought that some of the best characteristics of women are to be allowed to be sensitive, to be allowed just to give to him and fulfil his needs as well as my own with that, to show emotion and enjoy the moment. Yes, I know, completely out of date, that's what I would expect some to reply. But there is nothing wrong with you, if you need a lot of intimacy, if you just need a lot of time to spend with your partner in bed, if you want to be touched physically and emotionally. The time you spend together in bed is only a good one, if it is more than a physical experience. Take your time, because these intimate moments are not meant to be a race or a business contract where there can only be one winner. Even if you do not agree with me, I am so sure that you have the picture of someone who behaves like a racer in bed, you probably know someone like that, no matter whether this one is male or female. In my opinion, men tend to be like that, and to a certain degree that is fine, though definitely not enough to satisfy the needs of a woman. Sure, just like we can do all the things men can do, we can also be like men in bed, but this does not mean, that we should. I am not discussing same rights for both sexes, same money for same work, and so on, because these ideas are extremely important and should go without saying. I am talking about relationships and emotional distortions and about the pressure to succeed that women create for themselves. It is against women's strengths and qualities. If I had to be like that, it would make me completely unhappy. And I am sure I would not enjoy being in bed with any partner if I had this idea that I need to be successful in bed.