Adult content warning!

Adult content warning!

This blog includes texts which are not suitable for minors. So, if you are under the age of 18 or if my entries might offend you, please leave immediately.


Shoo! Shoo!

Monday, March 31, 2014

If you could get one question answered...

This is another short video, neither funny nor sad, but it got me thinking. 

 Hmmm, I think I'd ask what I could do to create happiness for our family. 

Maybe not brilliant, but I would definitely not want to know when anyone I know dies or something like that.

Food and body image


So far, I have had different advice about how to eat best for the next months. Count calories? Well, I have already failed at that. But now that I don't count them any more, I actually pay more attention to calories than before, so, in a way, I am still at it. But the majority of opinions went into the direction of 'do it the way you like it best'. Yes! Chocolate, here I come. NO! If I did that, constipation would be the next little problem I'd have. So, this means 'bye bye chocolate'. Hmm, I'll give it a try.

In addition, there was another piece of advice that I got and found really good: Don't feel guilty just because you ate something which was not the best choice for you and baby. I think I am not going to forget that one. The truth is, I eat pretty healthy most of the time and enjoy it that way. Now and then I eat a little more than I should. Sometimes I eat wrong things, too, when I have ravenous appetite fits. A friend of mine has told me her mum had eaten cigarette ash ... Hey, I am still perfect, compared to that.  Besides, 'Get over it' - that's what I should really do if I don't manage always to do it completely right. I'll try to be better, I am working on it, every day.

Body image

Talking about advice, there is one thing that I am currently extremely relaxed about. I am talking about my body and my body image. There is one piece of advice that I did get from friends, but most of all from hubby. I think hubby has always worked hard to give me a positive outlook on myself. I am talking about things that made me feel bad, like feeling fat, having a big bum and so on. Hubby kept telling me that I am fine the way I am. I am not overweight, I do my exercises and love them, I try to stay in shape. I have had days/weeks where I felt good and attractive as well. And still, too often it hits me and I am not at all pleased with my body. Legs too thick, bum huge, feel fat, breasts too big/too small. Depending on my overall mood, I cover the whole agenda of being dissatisfied. In a way, I always found this was normal. Friends and hubby say, no it is not normal and there is no reason to think in a negative way and if some judge others because of their bodies, they are only superficial and horrible people. 

Ok, I struggled with that, for long years, like many women do. But not now. My primary concern about the overcritical body image that I used to have, is, that it could come back when our little baby is there. Well, but this negative image might never happen, so for the moment, it can wait. In addition, I have learned to be more relaxed about body issues over the years, I am not always the slowest learner. :)

Well, and currently I am very pleased with my body. I don't feel bad, feel healthy and enjoy the way it develops. I even like my shape and enjoy eating a little more than I would otherwise ever do. So, at the moment I'd say pregnancy has taught me what friends and hubby have already said for years, though what they told me did not always sink in. 

There is one thing that hubby has said over and over again, for years, too. He did always find me attractive, and he always saw things in me I don't understand. I love that, ... makes me feel like a miracle :) . But he said something else, too, concerning my body. He never wanted to change any of my body. He never loved me for the prospect of a body I might have in the future. He wanted what he saw then and he loves me for what I look like now. According to hubby, he would love me the same, even if I had 50 pounds more. It doesn't matter to him, the body question is my problem, not his.  And at the moment I can listen and enjoy his message. It has finally sunk in.

The problem was on my side, because I could not always cherish what he meant. At the moment, this is different. We are getting closer to the number of weeks that we have never before passed successfully with me being pregnant. And all we can do is hope that all will be well. But this time, I feel physically better than ever before. Therefore, our hopes are high that all will be well with baby. And this feeling that all is well and will be well, makes many things easier, for example talking about some of my most annoying issues, such as my body image. 

Sorry for my rambling, I guess I made some of it sound worse than it is, and if I have learned anything through blogging, then that how I write depends on my mood. The morning was a little rough, but it's getting better again.

Tomorrow is laughter-day, maybe even laughter-month, Sadie's invention. I am sure it will be fun for all. :)

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Amazon babies

So, yesterday I was browsing Amazon for some books, either whodunnits or romances. Well, and I couldn't resist to look what I'd find with the term 'baby'. ... Don't do it, the list is endless. And it will be frustrating. After two clicks the selection narrowed down to some titles that made my day and  let me start eating cookies out of bewilderment at the same time. Here they are, the titles I did not want to see and those that made my day :-|

I hope this is not advertising, but the titles do all exist

1. French children don't throw food. (Ours is not even there yet. We are not anti-French, by the way, but ask someone from Kent about the French. My in-laws and their friends sometimes say funny things about them, the teasing  kind of comment)

2. The impatient woman's guide to getting  pregnant. (I love the idea of this one. I wonder if they have pictures...)

3.  100,000+ Baby Names: The Most Complete, Fascinating, and Helpful Name Book You Can Find (1. This guy has self-confidence. 2. I love variety, though it might take time to get through the names)

4. Papa to go. (It's a German title, btw.; sounds 'different'; is he on the run? Is he like bad coffee? Doesn't he have any taste at all?)

5. French women don't get fat. (Now, what the heck? What's the message here? I actually had the key word 'baby' and they come with t h i s title out of all. Is it about contraception or sweets?)

6. The French women don't get fat cookbook. (A recommendation you get when you click  title no. 5. Yeah and it is just what I need at the moment. I think very slowly I understand why some of my in-laws keep making jokes about the French)

7. French parents don't give in. (I still don't get it; does it mean they are bad at negotiating?)

8. Baby animals: On the farm (that was a really cute one)

9. Bouncing Baby Bomb: The infant has landed. (What do they do with the poor kid?!)

10. Babies for the Billionaire (She is German, he is from the English-speaking world, but I don't know where from. His name is Kent. Ok, I am German, hubby is from Kent. So, maybe they wrote this for hubby and me. But what kind of romance is it? The title leaves lots of room for creative ideas: how many babies do we talk about here? All from the same mom and dad? Are they more like 'Babes'? Why do I have the impression it might have been a business transaction? Why a billionaire?)

I could go on with this. And I am curious about more of these strange 'French' titles. I have read none of these, and maybe they are good ones, but they really are funny titles. 

Friday, March 28, 2014

The hubby post and the UTI post

This is a combined post, the first is bragging about how cool my hubby is :-) 


the second is about how uncool UTI is and what could help prevent it.

1. The hubby-post

This is a bit of a post where I simply show off about hubby and one characteristic he has shown very much lately. Well, he has always been protective, because he knows that I need that from him, and currently he is very much like a brooding hen. I thought that's me, but obviously I am wrong. I love hubby for showing this side so much.

 I am happy to have a protective husband...

... because he'd stop anybody who bothers me

... I always do feel safe with him, I mean this emotionally and also physically

... he cares and shows it

... he is my own body guard now. The background for that is actually a very sad and serious one. Police have found a dead (murdered) woman only about 30 (?) km away from us. It's maybe 20 minutes by car. They have arrested a friend of hers who had watched videos that showed excessive violence. Thank God this guy is under arrest, so there is probably no danger. 

But hubby won't let me go into the forest alone at the moment. It's either with him or with one of our friends - or not at all. If he could, he'd rather go with me, but that's not always possible for him. Besides, I have never felt that there was any danger when I went jogging through the woods. But that there was someone murdered not too far away, is pretty scary and I understand and appreciate that hubby wants to see me safe.

2. The UTI - post

Urinary Tract Infection (UTI): I don't have it and do hope to avoid it. Nevertheless, my doctor gave me some ideas how to prevent UTI.

Pregnant women are prone to UTI because one of the hormones will allow the uterus to expand. The reasons why we might get UTI then, is because this hormone also relaxes the muscles of the pelvic floor. I think all vaginal muscles relax because of it. I have only had one sneeze so far where I immediately knew that my doctor was right about the relaxed muscles part. If I had not been at home, it would have been embarrassing for me. Well, those relaxed muscles might allow nasty bacteria to enter and as a result, you could end up with UTI. 


-As usual, proper hygiene is very important. 

-Drink more water, or even better, also drink cranberry juice. She said pure cranberry juice would help a lot against UTI.

-Kegel exercises help to strengthen the relaxed muscles of the pelvic floor.

-I'd recommend using panty liners. It helps, not only in case you sneeze :)

If you have a burning sensation during urinating, or even worse, there is blood in your pee, you  should go to your gynaecologist immediately. There are safe antibiotics you can use to treat UTI during pregancy.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

For those of you who have had enough winter

poor snowman

When men see a baby bump ...

I watched men and women in a shopping mall. Doing that can be great fun and today I found out that men behave differently towards women who are pregnant. During the last about seven days I have noticed that repeatedly. I have written about hubby who would not allow me to carry things. I don't mean heavy bags, just something like an ordinary shopping bag. He virtually grabs those things away from me.

And today I had a chance to see more, because a good friend and I were  shopping in the mall. My jacket was open, under it a blouse that let appear my little baby bump. I love that, because now it starts looking like I am pregnant, not just overstuffed. And out of nowhere, there was an attentive man who held a door open for us. Actually that was just a nice thing to do, so if it is like good manners, I can enjoy that. What I don't want is to feel as if I am disabled. I guess that's why I keep thinking back to these moments when hubby is around and won't let me carry anything at all. But I also know that hubby does it because he cares and this is lovely and I enjoy it.

Men also have this quick covert glance at my bump, then they look quickly back into my eyes or elsewhere. So, my bump is noticed, which I like. I am really proud and happy that it is there. But men behave differently now. One year ago some would have looked at my breasts and bum first of all. Uhm, some conversations actually have been more between my breasts and their eyes. Well, I am sure you know exactly what I mean. Especially in summer these things happened.
This is not really stereotyping, just experiences that I have made and I am not talking about all men, here either.

Still, compared to women, the men I looked at were pretty shy about looking at pregnant women they don't know personally. I took my time in the mall and looked around. There were three other pregnant women around and you could really observe that men tried not to be too obvious about it. I don't know if they were afraid they'd be accused of being the father or if it was something else. Maybe this is something German? In summer I'll try to find out what British men behave like when we go home to visit hubby's parents. But so far the only English example I can refer to, is hubby. And hubby loves my bump. 

One woman we saw, was there with a female friend and she watched a pregnant woman who had a big bump, like the last week with twins. The two friends obviously talked about the pregnant woman's bump. I mean, it was really a very visible belly, like in 'huge', but then again maybe it was just because the woman herself was rather small. I think she really looked cute, though I know that I am somehow overly positive about anything baby-related. But the other two looked as if they commented negatively. Not nice. That's probably why they did not want anybody to notice that they had watched her. Apart from those two, most women we saw were not shy about looking at the bellies of pregnant women.

But the men only looked for a short, hidden moment at pregnant women's bumps as if that was an embarrassing thing to do. Whereas other women took a long look in general and they did not even stop when they were seen doing so. I mean, if there is another pregnant woman in sight, I also look at her belly and try to guess the week she might be in. Maybe I'm currently developing a fetish for bellies. That might also explain why many men have a big belly, like sixth month: they do it for their wives?

Wednesday, March 26, 2014


I played around with the colours, obviously. I am not sure yet if the looks of the blog are ok. If anybody gets a headache from looking at it for longer, let me know. I am still undecided if I want it this way, or if it is too much on the pinky-ish side of colour. ...

But I mean, what good are sunglasses, if you can't wear them in front of your computer screen. :)

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

What I don't want to hear this year

By now, most people who are important to us have heard about our pregancy. Hubby doesn't like that phrase much, because he always has this feeling that h e is growing a beer belly, but on the other hand, he teases me about my bump a lot, too.

Since I could still hide my bump in wide clothes, it would be rather easy to avoid any silly comments that might come. But actually I have started wearing blouses and shirts that are tight enough to show my bump. I think it looks nice, and if not, you better keep your mouth shut. Please.

But there are a few things that I'd rather not hear or experience during the next months, and nevertheless I am sure some of these will happen sooner or later.

There is no specific order in this list. If you have a personal 'favourite' insensitive remark, feel free to add that.

1. 'You should eat less.' (Haha, very funny. give me my crackers and pretzel sticks back. Now!)
1.1 'You look fat'

2. Nothing thoughtless about miscarriages, there is nothing funny about that and this really hurts a lot.

3. Choice of names: 'Oh I wouldn't call my child that!' (Yeah, thank you. We are going to keep our choice a secret)

4. Asking hubby: 'Is it yours?' (Lol, I really hope it doesn't happen, because this is so rude. And it could actually be taken from a comedy)

5. 'You look awful' (If it came from hubby or my best friend, I could live with that, but otherwise ....)

6. 'Are you expecting twins?' (I mean, it is sort of funny, but I don't want to be asked by someone I barely know)
6.1 'You are huge' (It's all about variety, isn't it?)

7. 'You are feeling tired now? Wait until your baby is there, then you'll know what being tired feels like' (Yes, that's real support, thank you; I think it is the choice of words here, because moms really do know that times will be rough after giving birth and if it is said with good intentions and nice words, it can really show support, too! ... But not the way I wrote it down here)

8. 'I hope it'll be a boy/girl' (You can choose. We don't care, we want our baby alive and kicking, that's what matters)

9. 'Good luck' (see number 2; actually there is a lot of variety to this, I am afraid, but it also depends on the circumstances. Sometimes people don't think, sometimes they really want to be supportive and fail)

10. Apart from people I am close to, I don't want anybody to touch my belly. (Hasn't happened, hopefully doesn't happen, and if so, I want hubby to be around. He is very extremely overly all-encompassing protective these days)

11. 'Are you sure this one is from the same father?' (This is one my older sister had. She is married, too, and her three children are from her husband. I don't know what I'd have done if I had been in that situation)

12. 'Do you really want that?' (This is mean)

13. 'Was it planned?' ...

14. 'You don't have morning sickness? Just wait, it'll happen' (Thank's, that's nice of you)

This could be a faaaaaar longer list. And sometimes it is just the way things are said. Maybe I am too touchy here, too. If some come in the right moment, they can be funny too, sure, but imagine those things from someone who you don't know, who you would not want to share intimate details with. 

Hmm, thinking makes me hungry lately:-) and I can eat in the evening now, too, more or less. But still no pecan turtles in sight. I'll have to make some here soon, yummy.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Dental hygiene during pregnancy

This is my 'brush your teeth, Ladies' edition of pregnancy-related information.

Ok, I went to my gynaecologist and she said all is fine and it feels like that too. :-) Just writing this adds to having a great day for me. But, my doctor also told me to keep up cleaning teeth and gums, even though the gums are more sensitive now than before. 
The reason why she raised this issue was primarily because of the periodontitis bacteria that would inhabit my mouth otherwise, with a little bit of bad luck. Sounds harmless, but can cause harm to baby. ... You bet I thought about every time I might have forgotten to brush my teeth (once this year, because I slept) and also every time I thought I had brushed less than my two minutes. 

The (poisonous) metabolic  products that some bacteria produce could enter the bloodstream and as a result could actually cause preterm delivery. So, this concerns baby's safety and therefore, brushing teeth and cleaning the mouth area can be more important than I had known before.

Well, I sure will keep my mouth very clean, not even foul language will leave it. :-)

Up to February, brushing teeth in the evening was a ritual that hubby and I did together. This might help in some cases. Brushing teeth on your own is a bit more on the boring side for me, since hubby often goes to bed later than I do now. I really miss this little part of being together with him. I think I'll ask him, whether he'd keep company with me for brushing our teeth. It's more fun when both of us stand there with a white tooth paste beard around the lips :)

Some more ideas that might help to keep your mouth clean and healthy:

Brush your teeth after each meal, and since your gums will probably be pretty sensitive, I'd go for a soft brush.

Use dental floss to clean between your teeth, too. You don't want dental plaque anyway, but definitely not during pregancy. It's about bacteria again.

Eat healthy, raw veggies now and then are good, too. And don't cook your veggies until they are mushy. If your cooked veggies are not too soft, you chew a bit more. Eating that and chewing a lot strengthens your gums. That again reduces gum inflammation. 

Don't eat too sweet or sour. Doing so will harm your tooth enamel.

And, if  you have the chance, go to the dentist before pregnancy. During pregnancy dentists won't do more than absolutely necessary, to prevent problems for mother and child. 

During pregnancy it would be ideal if you went about once every three months to the dentist. Just for a check up. And pregnant women don't have to wait long there either. :)

This is something I did not hear from my doctor, because my teeth are fine. 

But if your gums are already inflamed, camomile tea is a good start to clean your mouth and get rid of the bugs. But then you should rinse, not drink the tea. 

You could do the same with warm saltwater.  

Sugar free chewing gum can help, too. There is a substance in it which reduces bacteria.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Marnie and the little parcel

Foreword and warning

The original idea for writing a short story came as a recommendation from Sara. She had that idea because all my thoughts had been either about sex or spankings lately. I had erotic flashes while driving in my most responsible way through town and also in the garden, kitchen, woods, ah not to forget bedroom or shower. In a way Sara’s idea worked. In focusing on what I might want to write I actually forgot what was going on around me, spanking and erotic images included. So, as a result, there is far less sex and spanking in this story than I had expected.
Maybe the story is far too long, maybe it is too boring, I don’t know. It is not really DD either. But nevertheless, writing it was fun and I do hope that you can enjoy some of it. 
Now that I have finished writing this, my naughty thoughts return.

Oh, and none of the characters or the events is based on facts. The story is pure fiction and if anything resembles real life events or people, it is pure coincidence. In that case you have my honest sympathy.

Marnie and the little parcel

I think James Murray was a wise man. He had married Marnie, a nice, very amiable and life-affirming woman. What had attracted him the first moment he had set his eyes on her, was that she had this mix of open sincerity and a childlike naivety. She never knew how endlessly attractive she was for him – and any other man. Marnie was the pride of James' life and tended either to forget it at times, or she played too recklessly with this. She was good-natured and warm-hearted and loved James as much as he loved her. For her, James meant the world. She had felt that he was her Prince, the man who had turned her from the farmer’s daughter into a princess. And she loved him because he had this masculine air. He was determined, he could be stern, he was strong, handsome, a woman’s dream and he didn’t care about any other woman than her. Instead, he oozed his love for her, and Marnie, in return, loved that in him. She felt enveloped by his love. Just like James felt the adoration and love she had for him. 

Those two were an ideal match, they could pose as the perfect couple of the millennium. 

Well, maybe not perfect in the ordinary way, because Marnie had some peculiarities which made life with her challenging at times and ensured that James would never be bored with her. 

Monday morning, James was already off to work in his own little architecture business. Marnie knew that times had been rough for James lately. “No overspending, sweetie. You can buy all we need, but not more than that. Just to make sure!” She gave him her sweetest doe eyes. “Yes, Sir, no overspending. Maybe you should collect my credit card. Just to make sure!” She took it out of her purse and put it into his hands. James frowned. He considered her idea for a second and closed her hand around the little plastic card. The smile that hit her was full of warmth. “Come on, honey, you know I trust you. But I appreciate your offer.” He had kissed her goodbye and there she was. Credit card in hand, she mused. ‘No overspending, ok. I’ll try to save a few bucks in the supermarket, then I could go and buy my special perfume. It wouldn’t be overspending and he loves that smell on me so much.’ 

Lost in thoughts she dreamed about last night. His nose wandering along her slender neck, inhaling her, teasing a little behind her ear. His hands had wandered around, touched her breasts, then held her arms above her head and he took what was his. She loved it when he let her feel how much she belonged to him. Her eyes were in a haze, and  she could only focus on the sensations that he had created with his tongue and his fingers. The moment when he had finally entered her completely, was all she had needed. She had screamed out of pleasure and was lost in the intensity of her exploding orgasm. She had noticed that James came with her and she cried out of happiness. While she almost lost her senses out of pleasure, he was still the one in control and intensified what she felt while they came. He had prepared her for that moment most of the night. She had begged for release, she had begged for pain and she had begged him to kiss her. She had pleaded him to do all he wants, if only he’d let her come. Marnie smiled serenely as she put her coat on. Her legs were still a bit shaky, but this feeling of peace was endless in her.  It would linger around till tonight.

If James had been a musician, what instrument would she have been for him? Maybe a drum? Well, she was loud in bed. He pounded her forcefully, too. But that would let their way of loving each other appear crude. No, more like a cello. You could use your complete body to handle it as a musician. As a cello, she’d make all the range of noises from highest to deepest, that he could think of when he played her.
Routinely, she had driven into the city centre. As she left the car again, she took her list and decided what not to buy, so that she could afford the perfume he enjoyed so much on her. It was all that she needed to wear for him. As she passed shelves with cabbage and carrots, she thought about his pleased gaze, as she had greeted him naked, only in heels and perfume. She had felt well-dressed for him and James had enjoyed the fragrance. 
With the air of someone who had done it all her life, she went into the perfumery. She greeted the little woman who was the owner of this little place of extravagance. After a short chit chat Marnie left again with a little parcel in her hand. The credit card would show 200 bucks more than James had allowed. He would be disappointed. But she loved him and she had done it for him. She’d take responsibility and tell him as soon as she could, when he’d return in the evening.

Once back home, Marnie took out the parcel and put it on the table. ‘Better be good-looking, very pleasing’, she thought and took out her favourite black and white maid’s uniform. Well, the sexy version of it. Her breasts almost fell out of the plunging neckline and her skirt … ? It was barely long enough to cover the suspenders.  Clad in black stockings and high heels she knew that James would enjoy seeing her. ‘I really hope he is lenient. After all, I did the overspending for him, in a way.’ Of course she knew well that he’d forbidden overspending.

As the evening came, everything was prepared. Marnie, dinner and the little parcel in sight. She could hear James’ car approaching. A minute later, the door was opened. Marnie, who had waited in the corridor, curtsied and greeted her husband “Good evening, Mr Murray, Sir” She gave him a shy smile and looked down most of the time. She knew that he’d understand the signals all too well. “Hello my little one.” He gave her his jacket, kissed her and went into the dining room. In the doorway he stopped. The little parcel was on the table. As if it wanted to be at the centre of James’ attention.

James turned to Marnie, who had followed him docilely. James knew better than to fall for that. “I did not expect any parcels. What’s this, Marnie?” His mood was dropping by the second. He could see in her that she had not obeyed. Marnie made a little step towards him, as if she wanted to cuddle him but was stopped by an invisible wall. “Sir, I have bought this today. It is the perfume that you love so much on me. I thought…” She stopped, not knowing if it was wise to go on. She glanced coily up through her eyelashes. James was not amused. No, she saw him going through the implements in his mind. In an attempt to appease James, she tried again “Sir, I saved money while doing our shopping. I did not spend that much, Sir.” His face was almost like chiselled in stone. Expressionless. “How much, Marnie?” She knew that it was now or never. And if anything, she would never lie to James. “200, Sir” Her shoulders dropped down, as if she had been defeated with that answer. James was surprised, would she give in that easily? Not her! Inside he was boiling with anger.

“Marnie! 200! Are you serious?! I don’t believe it.  Did I give you permission to spend a single cent on that?!” He had come very close. She could smell his aftershave and felt his warm breath. Anybody would have understood the threat in his gesture and angry voice. But Marnie did not even flinch. She looked him in the eyes. She felt the electricity physically between them, now, while he was angry. She loved him and she felt bad for what she had done, but she felt that he was her rock and nothing would change that. Marnie looked at him admiringly. She couldn’t help it and enjoyed that he was there, right there, right then, in conflict, but with her.

“Well, Sir, in a way it was only because you did not collect the credit card, Sir. And I am sorry that I did spend the money, Sir.” James was close to exploding. “Are you serious? Do you say that it is my fault that you spent money on perfume that you’d wear? You must be joking, Lady!” James was getting closer to explosion. “I only hope you do know that what you said cannot be true.” She sensed that, and still, she couldn’t stop herself. “Yes Sir, you have no reason to be too mad at me, Sir! It was done with the best of intentions. It was not for me, it was only to please you, Sir.” Marnie was slightly agitated. But not too bothered, yet. He had not cornered her, as he surely would do in a moment. In a way, she felt like dancing with him. 

James breathed in deeply. The truth was, he did appreciate that Marnie wanted to please him and he was sure that the first thought actually was that it would please him to smell her with this fragrance out of all. She was right with that. But it did not change anything about her infraction. Still, it had an effect. He would punish her, and severely, too. 

Immediately he calmed down. James would deal with Marnie properly now.  “Marnie, do you believe that we have our rules because they help us?” Marnie’s mind raced. He’d bring her to her senses again, now. She knew it. “Yes, Sir.” He took her chin into his hand and held her gaze with his.  “Say it!” “The rules that we have are there to help us, Sir.” He nodded. “Good girl. Marnie, do you think that I had meant I wanted you to spend additional money today?” Marnie wanted to let her head fall. She did not want to look into his eyes in this moment. But he held her. “No, Sir, your instructions were very clear and I made a mistake. I am sorry Sir.” She meant it. Her body reacted and she felt a few tears roll down her cheeks. “I am really sorry, Sir, I mean it. I can bring the parcel back tomorrow, Sir.” She would do that. He nodded “You do know that you deserve a serious punishment for that, don’t you, Marnie?” She tried to nod, but James still had her chin tightly in his hand. “Yes Sir, I deserve a serious punishment” she answered in a low voice. 

James let her alone and went into the living-room. She stood there, swallowing hard. She knew what would follow. She dreaded the pain, but still, she was full of anticipation. Marnie knew well enough what she had done. She knew that James was fully aware of what was going on, too, and that he knew her so well made the difference between them dancing their certain kind of dance or her only manipulating him. A few moments later, James called her into the living room. He had a leather paddle in his hand and sat down on the sofa. Marnie came closer and stood in front of him.

“Knickers down!” He growled at her. Her cheeks turned red immediately as he said that. “I can’t, I am not wearing any, Sir” His eyes became bigger. 'Ha, surprise' she thought. He obviously liked that. “Ok, over my lap then, young lady.” Marnie placed herself as told and felt James push the short skirt up. She had barely time to breathe in deeply, when James hit her the first time. Thudd. “Ouch!” This burned like hell. She tried to breathe some of the pain away. If he’d start like that, she’d not sit for days on her bum. Well, she wanted this done. She felt his hand holding her lower back. Thud, thud, thud.

James loved lecturing his lovely wife in moments like these. “You have been good for a long time” Thud, thud. “But. You. Really. Earned. This. One. Today!” By the time he had finished lecturing,  Marnie’s bottom was a lovely collection of shades of red. She had squirmed lightly, but was not resisting him. She never was. Still, he knew that he was not finished with her, yet. She needed to get her release. Without, it wouldn’t work. Quickly he grabbed the other paddle, the heavy one. It was dense and dark. ‘Time to drive the message home’ James thought while he held Marnie down with his right. 

Marnie felt her bottom pulse with heat. But she had not yet cried. She felt frustration grow out of nowhere, as James stopped. ‘What was he doing? He wouldn’t stop too early, would he?’ She wanted to turn her head, but was wise enough not to move. She’d better wait for him to allow any movement. If not, he’d become really cross with her. James interrupted her thoughts. “Let’s finish this. Don’t squirm or you’ll make it worse”, he said with a by now completely relaxed voice. Marnie grabbed the cushion under her with both hands. Thud. “Ouuie” This was it. She felt the pain heat her up like a geyser. The first stroke had driven tears into her eyes. She felt the pain and with every stroke, Marnie felt her heart become elated. Thud. She groaned loudly. This would go on,  until James had finished his last round of lecturing her.

“!” Thud. This stroke was the climax of a crescendo of paddle strokes she had received by then. She could not listen to James anymore. She tried hard, but all that Marnie still noticed were the heavy swats. They hurt so much and she would not sit well for a longer time than she had foreseen. And still, inwardly, she smiled because of it. Swat. Another one hit her. She regretted her overspending very much now. Swat, one more hit her tender, dark red bottom.  Her tears dripped down on the cushion she clung to. Marnie didn’t notice anymore. Instead she felt complete relief. Swat, the last one hit her. She couldn’t smile. She had made a mistake and regretted that, but as she finally stood up, she felt a warm wave of pleasure rise in her. She was free again and she knew it. 
She touched her bottom lightly and winced, but took her hands away immediately, after looking at James. “That was rough, Sir.” He nodded. James stood in front of her. His look was full of concern and love. “It’s over, dear. You took that paddling well. You made me proud.” This was what she needed to hear from him. Marnie’s tears ran down her face like a river. She felt his love almost physically as he stood there in front of her. “I am sorry, Sir. I thought…” She stopped. James took her, caressed her and led her away. “Arnica?” She pointed her finger to the bathroom where she’d find the cooling ointment she would love to have. James shook his head softly. “No. I want you to feel this tomorrow. Take it as an additional reminder to be good. Let’s go!”

Marnie looked at him with excitement. Contrary to other punishments, this one did not leave her too down.  She had not known, whether he’d put her into the corner or into bed. In other situations, it would have been the corner. But with the parcel…. chances were there with it, that he’d decide differently. So, in a way, they’d continue their dance tonight. He led her into their bedroom. Once there, he pulled the little excuse of a maid’s uniform away from her. She stood and waited, unwilling to ruin the moment by doing anything he might not want. He undressed her completely. Done quickly. And she still felt dressed, because she was wearing their favourite perfume. James went around Marnie, as she stood there, waiting quietly. He inspected her. He drew in the smell of her.  Touched her oversensitive bottom and heard her groan with a low voice. “No Arnica. Your marks will last a few days and I think I’ll enjoy seeing them for a while.” “Yes Sir” she let another moan out, as James probed between her legs. She was more than prepared for whatever he would like to do with her. Marnie could barely wait for it to happen, as he led her onto the bed and took out her favourite scarf to blindfold her with.


As James went into his office the next morning, Marnie waved him goodbye again. She looked around and went back to the dining room. The little parcel was still there. Marnie took it, went into the bedroom, opened the door to the old wardrobe and put the disputed parcel into it. She placed it carefully and with a smile of bliss next to the other 38 that had accumulated  over the last three years.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Myths and more about pregnancy

1. Pregnancy is not an illness ! I don't like to be treated with kid gloves, if I appear moody or sex-greedy, it is just the hormonal changes, it is n o t like the flu. The flu is not enjoyable, being pregnant is something I enjoy endlessly. (There are different opinions on that, I know)

2. I can still carry things. If it is too heavy for me, I'll tell you. I am not going to risk anything, but I can definitely do the shopping. Later on, when I am the walrus, I'll surely appreciate more help than now, because currently I absolutely want to do things myself.

3. Exercise is dangerous? No, I want to do my exercises. Instead of jogging through the woods too long, I'll just go swimming more often. If you don't overdo it, it is healthy for mom and baby.  Those women who have been doing some exercises have repeatedly stated that this was maybe one reason why giving birth was easier for them. Ask your gynaecologist what you can do without risk. Mine said moderate exercising is good for baby and me. Emphasis is on 'moderate'.
What you maybe should not do too much is riding your bike, martial arts, riding horses, any form of exercise with an increased chance of falling or getting hit on your belly. Bad idea.

4. Sex can be dangerous? Lol. I should put this as number 1, because currently sex is more important for me than I have ever experienced before. We don't put pressure on my belly area and hubby doesn't want to push too deeply, but our doctor says it is safe and we should enjoy it (as long as it lasts). And we do. I am a garden with my personal gardener. :)

5. Pregnant women have this glow around them. Actually I love that one. I don't know, though hubby says it's true. My hair is nice and my skin too, but then again I am currently living very healthy. And I also glow because I am constantly aroused. Maybe it is that? I don't know.  Oh, and I sleep a lot more at the moment, too. Therefore, I have to glow like a fresh morning :) ... but still feel tired most times.

6. This is your all-you-can-eat time, because you eat for two. Hm, I know I do eat more, and sometimes unusual things, too, but I for one would freak out, if I really ate like two times my normal lunch. We have a table with calories here, because we were told around 300 cal more is all it takes. And I don't believe that overeating can be healthy under any circumstances. Eat healthy and stop in time. If it is a little bit more, that's probably normal, because gaining weight during pregnancy is also normal. But not too much. Mind, this is what I say in week 12 and have already failed miserably several times. Oh, look, this chocolate bar on the shelf has become more attractive to me than before. It had some candy bar friends, but they all disappeared. And I have had meals where I had more than those 300 cal extra. And then there were these jellybabies. And the additional piece of cake. Uh oh, here comes the walrus.

7. Go to the sauna and relax? Relax yes, but my doctor said that going to the sauna is forbidden for me. Just like hot baths. She says it has to do with rising body temperature, which could endanger baby. I think that's also one of the reasons why doing too much workout is bad during pregnancy, because you heat your body up a lot then.

8. Sleep on your left during pregnancy. That's cool, I do that sometimes, but only because I have a side sleeper pillow on my left. During the night I struggle with it and also end up on the right. There's no harm caused by that. The only position that I don't like to sleep in, is on my belly. If I ended up there, I'd feel as if I slept on my baby. But it's too sensitive anyway, so baby is safe.

9. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no coffee. Well, sounds sensible to me. Coffee is interesting for me, and the doctor said caffein has always been discussed and I could have a cup of coffee in the morning. But I refrain from that, just to make sure. Alcohol and cigarettes are definitely no-nos for me. Although I have read that a little sip of wine once a week could not do harm. I don't know, I think it is easier if I do without for the next months.

10. My mom and sister have talked repeatedly about heartburn and severe morning sickness. Well, I am not there yet. My older sister said that morning sickness became worse from one to the next pregnancy and it was awful for her in her third one. She described it like an ongoing hangover. :(

11. Freeze all your favourite meals for the time when baby is there. I got this advice more often than any other, because all moms have made this experience that they are too tired and too busy once they leave the clinic.

I cannot really give advice, because every pregnancy is different but I can help create a little awareness of what (not) to do and maybe make you smile about the silly ideas that exist, too.

I think we are actually very careful (overcautious?) with everything we do, to ensure that baby is always safe.  If you are not sure what you could do during pregnancy, I'd recommend always go and ask your gynaecologist first.
But if you have made experiences that you would like to share, or have good advice for us, I am all ears and willing to try a lot. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


(Catchy title, isn't it?)
Suddenly I see spankos everywhere. They can be around the next corner.  Some I have just passed. I mean, this is what I like to see in ’Smacking bottom’, blogland. But since I currently absolutely miss spankings, it is a little distracting. I really do miss hubby giving me a spanking. The real ones, which will sting, which are even nasty, but will leave you calm, balanced and feel free afterwards. I still get bedroom-type spankings from hubby. But they are really more like a good massage of my bottom, not harder than that.

Hubby and wife and their addiction

The bedroom-type spankings are not meant to make me cry. They are meant to create the other good feelings, and they do, so this is not a complaint. Well, it is a complaint, but not because I get turned on by hubby. What makes me restless is that they are only the nice ones. Hubby told me that he’d love to spank me hard. He’d love to take his time with it, but this will not happen for a looooooong time. With every day that passes, the length appears longer, if you know what I mean. This really is no complaint in the ordinary way. And it is not directed at hubby either, of course. I think that hubby is in control of me. He decides freely, he chooses how to discipline me non-physically. He knows what is stingy and nasty for me, even without smacking my bottom. Restricted online time is one of those. Therefore, I really am doing a lot to be good. And I enjoy this time. Being good is good. Being pregnant is good. Being not spanked is bad. I feel that with more intensity than I had thought.

Discipline spanking is not erotic. It is. It is not. It is…..

What happens, as a result of me not being disciplined physically, is that my imagination goes on a rampage. :)  Some, no most, is related to sex. Even the idea of physical, nasty type discipline is currently erotic and hot for me. I remember vividly that they are not erotic as they happen, but often enough my thoughts took that direction afterwards, once the pain faded. And I don’t believe that I’d qualify as a masochist either. I am usually not out for pain. Nasty pain is a turn off, though I surely admit that even discipline has a strong erotic notion to it. Currently more than ever.

You want a spanking? Go shopping

So, this morning I went shopping. It was the perfect shopping morning. No traffic, few shoppers and I had much time. Since I have a record with the traffic police, I know a few personally. This is not a joke! They are nice guys, and I am a safe and sensible driver. Have always been, lately. Definitely since January. We met at the supermarket, by chance. I had done nothing. And something already started rising in me. I imagined things between one of the officers and a woman. Not me! No sex! Well, in a way nevertheless something erotic. I went into the supermarket quickly, because it felt as if my ears had already started to change colour and I didn’t want anyone to notice that. Soon all was fine again. I was inside.
So, first stop veggies… Yes, I still do look at the cucumbers, but there are other veggies which I have become aware of with interesting forms, as well. I stood there and was checking my list. You know, I love my lists. Only two steps next to me, there was another woman, around 54, friendly-looking, decent make-up, nice clothes and checking veggies too. She brushed down a few apples. They landed on the floor, but the fault was not hers, there were just too many apples piled up. Nevertheless, she got a bright red face and picked them up. I could only help her with one and then it was over.

Was it? Oh no. She turned and left the veggies department in a little hurry, obviously she felt embarrassed because some attendant had piled up the apples and she had them roll down. Well, I looked at her back and bottom as she was leaving. It was just a glance. She was wearing slacks, all fine and probably more fashionable than some of my comfy clothes I will wear in a few months. 

But I couldn’t stop my imagination flaring up and in that, an attendant came and scolded her. He took her aside and gave her a few swats with his hand. Lol, I am just describing what my inner eye saw in this moment. It was not long, the image only lasted a short moment. I stood there musing. 

It has happened again, later on, back in the car, though this was even shorter, because I just imagined a spanking, only hands, arms, bottom, legs, like a close up. And there was no trigger that I am aware of.
It was sexy, but the woman in the scene was not me, because the man was not hubby. And I didn’t give in to my daily fantasies of hubby and me doing all sorts of things together I won’t do for months. No, they were strangers.

I might regret this

I guess this is simply a part of adjusting to the non-spanking situation. There’s no reason to be worried. But the lack of serious spanking obviously keeps my mind occupied. Maybe it is only another expression of my ever-hungry libido, I don’t know. It will all be fine, as long as my mind doesn’t start putting the wrong people into the spanking-fantasies. That could be really gross. But all in all, with every passing day, I do want a serious spanking more than before.
Can’t wait for it to happen, maybe next Christmas? EsMay is working on a tutorial about spanking implements. Once that is published, I think I’ll try to do them all, produce some of everything and wait well-prepared, floggers and loopies in hands, ready for action, the sooner, the better.
Up to that moment, hubby will have me do more cornertime and be online less and such things. 

And once everything is back to normal, I’ll have more than enough time to maybe regret that I wrote today how much I desire a serious spanking. :)