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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What makes a/our relationship work?

Of course, there is no complete answer to that. What works for us does probably not work for others and therefore this is not meant as a recommendation for anybody. These are only a few thoughts about why it works for us.

As for us, we spend a lot of time to make it work. Although in our relationship, Master could order me around all the time, I never have this feeling that he does it because he is too lazy or just takes advantage of me. On the contrary, he orders me around and I still have the feeling that he cares. But that does not mean that it is always this way, of course, there are situations, when he tells me to do things, just because he can, and since this is often connected to reminding me of my position, it is ok for me.
He spends a lot of time with me, and lets me know that I am appreciated by him. And whenever I get the chance, I do the same for him. I love to please him and it is difficult for me to keep my hands off him, which he knows all too well. We talk, we love each other and we show affection towards each other. We closely look at each other - with this I mean we try to find out, what might be going on emotionally in the other one.
During the week, we often have trouble spending as much time as we want to with each other. Master sometimes has to do business trips and then it could happen that we don’t see each other for a few days at all. When that happens, we try to find means to be together without being disturbed by anything or anybody at the weekend. Since I am at home most of the time, I have to make sure that during the week all chores are finished so that I don’t need to spend time on that on Saturday or Sunday. Due to Master being away for a while now and then, we talk even more about our to do’s for the upcoming week, and many of my duties at home are planned in advance for the whole week, just to make sure that all is fine and there is enough time that we can spend together at the weekend.

If we have plenty of time, which happens sometimes, when Master is there for a few weeks without much work to do, we enjoy jogging or swimming together. But there are also the nice treats that we try to have, such as surprise visits to nice places, short trips and so on.

So, on the one hand we do a lot to spend much time together, but on the other hand, there are also moments where we don’t want that, e.g. when we meet friends. We have friends we see together but also some who are either more his or mine. Therefore, although he likes to have control of me and I enjoy that too, there are also times when he lets me do things which are not meant to be shared with him, at least not until I want that. It is the same the other way round. I know that some probably might find it hard to believe that I have that freedom, if I consider myself a slave, but for me it is a privilege, not a right. I mean, after all, if Master wants to, I might be grounded or be under curfew for ever. But if our relationship worked only in such a strict and harsh way, I would probably give up and let everything happen without being emotionally involved anymore. I think that this kind of being together would be too chilling for me to cope with. This is no criticism at all, because others might need exactly what I could not stand and they would be unhappy in a relationship like ours.
To sum it up, if you have followed my rambling that far, we talk, we show love, we spend time with each other and although we want to spend as much time as possible together, we also want times with other people now and then. Talking about temperatures, I think our relationship is one full of warmth, even when Master is strict sometimes or punishes me, the reasons behind that are good ones.

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