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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I worked against the rules - I got spanked and I am grateful for it - and I mean it!

What I write here now is more like my way of sorting out for myself what was going on this afternoon.
Today Master and I had some time in the afternoon which we spent relaxed together (no sex, I am still waiting for that chance again). We started discussing and suddenly I found myself in an old trap (category: unwanted behaviour). I started being a bit bitchy and aggressive, because I did not like to listen and was unable to behave, though there actually was no real  reason for me to behave that way. Master was relaxed and calm all the time, not just in his outward appearance, but from deep within as well. This was one of these moments which showed quite well that he is the one who maintains an overview in times of crisis. My reactions are most of the time rather emotional ones and if I feel criticised, I often tend to take that badly and react not always reasonable, I am afraid. It does not even matter what such an affair is about, it is just the way something is said and how it enters my thoughts. Well, as I said, Master was  extremely patient with me, I really have to admit that and I am grateful that he was. At first I was not even able to see that I showed aggressive behaviour, I was loud, felt myself in a position where I just had to oppose anything Master said. He did not direct anything against me at all, it was just like an emotional fit, or like emotional chaos at that moment. It was just to say the opposite, to be against whatever was said. Maybe you have encountered such situations yourself, then you know how annoying this is. 
My real problem was that I did not even see at first that I behaved like that and afterwards, that I had trouble in admitting that I had finally seen it, even though I easily could have done so. Master offered many chances and ways out of the situation.
In such situations, I am also quite good at blaming someone else or to start putting in dummy arguments and things like that. Master knows that I tend to do that too, so he usually knows how to deal with that. But today he was reallllllllly patient with me, and once again I can only thank you for that, Sir. He explained what went wrong and since there was no aggression at all from his side, sooner or later, my bad behaviour just slipped away and I became rather frustrated because I had this feeling that I had let him down. He said that it was ok, because he just wanted to make sure that I understood the mechanism that had worked in me. This was not even about punishment at that time, because he just wanted me to see what had happened in my mind. Still, I acted against our rules and know that I deserve punishment and I want that, too. Master said that it is up to me to decide what punishment to receive this time, because I understood all too well what I had done.

Edit: We agreed on a spanking.


  1. Hello Sir,
    most times I get a few with the cane, which is really nasty. In the past I had issues with being spanked and that's why I did not get that for years. Only this year we have tried spanking again, and it worked well. When I am caned or spanked it is usually combined with cornertime. But there are also completely different punishments, like early bedtime. I have had that repeatedly and it is a perfect mix of something which helps me a lot and feels like a punishment for me too. Then there is the general loss of privileges, like no online time, no tv-time, or things like that. Master tries to let the punishment fit the crime a lot, so if I did a bad job at cleaning the kitchen I have to redo that thoroughly. The most creative punishments always come from the loss of privilege section, because sometimes I only realize that I have a privilege, once it is taken away. E.g. not being allowed to sit on the sofa for a week or things like that. There even has been one punishment which was for childish/annoying behaviour from my side, and as a result I got no dessert for a week... And I have also been grounded, but these things are rather rare and the most usual punishments are the ones that I feel on my lower back. There are a few other implements that Master uses now and then too, but the nasty cane is used most, though Master would like to do more spanking, but actually that depends on my reactions, because he does not want to cause an emotional crisis in me.

  2. Interesting. So how do you think you're going to pick what your own punishment will be?

  3. Hello Sir,
    I got spanked, it was not even close to a severe kind of punishment, though it worked well enough. The spanking was what I had chosen, maybe somewhere in the back of my mind it was because choosing the cane would have been worse. How long and how hard he'd spank was still left to Master, but he did not spank me for long, just enough to let me start crying, which happened rather early this time.

  4. I'm sure it's hard to ask for a more severe punishment, but hopefully what you got is exactly what you needed.

  5. Hello Sir,
    yes I think it was just on the spot... :) It worked, I learned my lesson, and, what we think is even more important, I absolutely understood what I had done and this message really sunk deep into me. That is one of the reasons why I cried rather early, because there was still some frustration about my behaviour left and I had recognized that and there was a lot of relief, because I think that it was a well deserved spanking. I really don't like punishments, the real ones, that cause nasty pain, but this one was something that I actually welcomed a lot.


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