Self-control

I know, it is hard to believe, but I have that too, because you can learn self-control. Obviously it is easy to achieve, if you have somebody right behind you, willing to prove on your bottom that self-control is good for you.

That I write this passage about self-control is because I had it highlighted in my text on what qualities good dominants should have. Of course, all the points in that list are worth thinking about, but self-control could be vital. I just imagined what could happen if, let’s say I started wriggling around during our activities. I know from personal experience … :) ...   that Master is aroused then too. Ok, if it were just a vanilla situation, where he could virtually jump onto me and nothing dangerous could happen, fine, I love that.

But what if you were bound, helpless, and he does something which could cause harm if he did not stay on top of the situation? Imagine your partner would not stop in a situation when you tell him to? Or even worse, there is no self-control and he does not feel the responsibility that he has, maybe because this partner drank alcohol before you started playing, which obviously is a bad idea because it weakens self-control and definitely the ability to judge situations correctly. That could lead into outright dangerous situations. E.g. if you did something like breath-control, it could be quite deadly, if your partner lost control. Therefore, I believe that a good dominant partner needs this trait in him.

But I also think that it is good for the submissive partner to have that. First of all, it makes life easier, because it helps a lot in every day life. Ok, not only good for subs, also for dominant partners. Self-control has been one of the traits that I had to learn more about in our relationship. Actually it helped me a lot to learn that, during sex too. It really makes a huge difference sometimes, when you wait to be allowed to orgasm and you wait and wait, completely absorbed and just waiting for his permission. When you finally have this permission and you let actively go, the feeling which I get from that is completely overwhelming me, it is like you walk up a mountain and as long as you are not allowed to jump from it, so that you can fly, you walk on and on but finally, from the highest top, you are allowed to fly. All I can say is that I had enormous flights which seemed as if they would never end. Marvelous. This is one lovely reason to learn self-control. 

Still, there is another one, which is as important as the chance to elevate orgasms with it. Learning self-control helps to do what Master wants me to do. I love it, when I am able to please him by doing as told. It makes me incredibly proud if I manage something I did not manage to do before. They are sometimes petty things, very mundane or even minor events, that I think about now. E.g. not driving too fast, finishing chores in time, preparing meals, not spending money, not eating sweets, following a daily schedule, and so on. I know they are simple examples, but you probably also know that it is not always easy to succeed in all these things. Self-control has helped me a lot there, and I have become considerably better in doing all these and other things successfully. And if you manage all these little things successfully, suddenly, your life starts being easier than ever, there is more room for other activities, spending time together, meeting friends, sewing, and whatever you like. One of the best bits about it is that suddenly you have less reasons to argue, because there is far more structure and order in your life which helps preventing that. No more dirty dishes that Master might have been annoyed about. If you stick to the rules, there is no bickering, and if you don’t stick to them, you know you have to face the consequences. For us, self-control and everything that comes along with it, has done so much good. It created a lot of harmony from the beginning and left us free of many minor quarrels. Much of this is connected to me learning discipline, being more in control of myself, because Master is in control of me and helps me on this good way. 

Having said all that about self-control, It appears I have lost control in the wrong moment and did not have enough self-discipline to drive the way I should have, i.e. slowly. I am going to be punished tonight, because I got another penalty notice for speeding that Master will have to pay. We just got the letter, nice picture of mine included. There is no excuse for that from my side, but I am sorry for it, and I am more than willing to accept the consequences for something that nobody else but me did. I am angry about myself because of what I have done. Master is annoyed too, which is the reason why I will get my punishment only later tonight. Never do that when you are angry, another rule where you need enough self-control to be able to follow it. … here it proves to be good for my bum, too.