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Shoo! Shoo!

Monday, September 7, 2015

The mess continues, sorry

This is only a short update on what’s currently going on around us. I am not sure what to make of how I feel, I really am confused … yep more than usual. We are still not in a good place, and in addition to our deepest sorrows about granny, my younger sister has been brought to hospital at the weekend. :( She is pregnant too, only two weeks further than I, and she has had contractions and is slightly dilated. What makes me really angry is that she has taken a lot of time before she finally told her husband that maybe she should go to hospital, only after things started to intensify. (I learned this part of the story only today) AAAAAHH!!!! I found that risky, but then again, maybe that is only due to the miscarriages I had before Tilda. As some of you know, I go the other way and phone my doc more often than I need to.

I love my sister, but this is where I had thoughts of spanking her. However the good news is that her little one is ok; due to the medication in hospital the contractions have been reduced, almost stopped. The doctors have not decided yet whether she has to stay in bed till giving birth.

So, let’s see …  we have my younger sister in hospital in Hamburg, but her baby and she will be fine we think. Then we have granny in hospital outside the city, the place where she wants to be for her last journey. I still can’t say it. I am shaking my head about all this and feel helpless.

Since Sunday my mom is a mess because she is afraid now that my sister might have a miscarriage because it seems to run in the family. She forgets that my older sister had no problems ever. And according to the doctors there is no immediate danger for my younger sister of losing her baby either. So, my mom is currently more irrational than I am. A rare occurrence. I still don’t like being without Tilda, but I have given her to my mom for a few hours, while I was visiting granny and my sister in one morning. It made things easier for me, it made my mom happier, and in a way, I had a quiet time for the first time in days, with Amy gone for a few days, and hubby working. No other relatives were around, no friends either, because I had not bothered to call anybody. Nevertheless, I cannot even say that I enjoyed this alone time. It was good to see that my sister was ok, but obviously my mood is not at an all-time high.

The weird thing is that my mood concerning granny has improved a lot, once I learned that my sister and her baby would be fine. I don’t know if that is good though. I love granny, seeing her motionless makes me sad, and I have not told granny about my sister. I mean, maybe I should, and I would, if I had hopes that it would wake her up again. My love for granny is where it always was, however yesterday, and even more so today, seeing her like this did not hit me as hard as it often did before. I don’t believe I am losing my love for her, but I feel cold from this happening and don’t like it. I don’t know what to make out of this really. Did I mention that I am confused?! 

 granny likes angels

Wishing you all a great week, and I simply hope that there will be nicer news soon.
I’d love to have good things happen here,
and I’d love to have good things happen to you.

P.S. Jan, I did not forget answering your mail, it was just a little busy, I’ll get to it as soon as I can. <3