Adult content warning!

Adult content warning!

This blog includes texts which are not suitable for minors. So, if you are under the age of 18 or if my entries might offend you, please leave immediately.

Now!

Shoo! Shoo!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Ta-da! Back again! :)



 After a lovely week we returned from our visit to my in-laws late last night, something around midnight, as we had to drive out of Hamburg. That made the whole trip an hour longer than it would have been otherwise. We girls are all tired today, Kate has managed to drink some milk, but fell asleep still latched on, Tilda was not the early bird she usually is either, and I could have slept on forever. I don’t know how he did it, but hubby was up early, fresh and cheerful, when I still felt crinkled and wrinkled. He enjoys being here somewhere in nowhere, because it is like another holiday trip for him.

Being back with the family was awesome and we enjoyed that we had so much quality time. I love my parents in law dearly, and wished we’d live closer. Due to all the Brexit things going on when we were there one of the running jokes was that we might be back sooner than expected, if Britain decided to leave the EU. Well, they did, and I wonder where we’ll be in five years. And would I have to ask for a British or only for an English passport by then? :) The trouble is, no matter where we live, we’d always have to fly to see the other half of the family. Flying?! Oh please, not that. The least British Airways could do is offer general anaesthetics to make the journey more pleasant. I’d appreciate this a lot. 



Anyways, I have not been driving a car for a whole week, because nobody was willing to risk that, they say. Pfft ignorant lot. Actually it was only one of hubby’s brothers who said that, but the others giggled. Besides, my mother-in-law never would say this, and she’d even let me drive her car, though I declined politely after hubby’s warning expression. Or was it pleading? :) 



Whatever. And then it was Friday again, the dreaded day of leaving. I absolutely don’t like that part, even less so because mil and fil have trouble with departures too. My mother-in-law and I did enough crying for three. :) Leaving the sweetest parents-in-law behind was so hard, I’ll never get used to this. The good news is that they'll come over in December. I can't wait for that.

Due to circumstances we’ll be outside the city for the summer. We hope that things will go back to normal in autumn, though I do not really know why they should, because the monster who is responsible for our move is still there and he’d have to be caught red-handed while approaching me in any form. That’s scary in itself, and I am also afraid of what might happen if hubby was the one who’d lay hands on the monster. I mean, I do not condone violence in any form, but I am relieved to have a husband who is able to protect us, because I fear for our safety here. Last time just seeing this guy let me freak out and run for the hills. Frustrating as it is, I feel pretty helpless because I cannot even keep calm when thinking about these things. It was nice to forget this stuff for a week, and being outside Hamburg lets me feel much better for the moment.

Today we went to the hospital to see granny. All of us, and I was happy to see her lying in her bed. My thoughts might have wished for her being in a better place at times, and I am not sure if this is something I should be ashamed of or not, because I love her. However, seeing her today was just good. She was simply there and that was comforting. Seeing granny was good, tomorrow I’ll probably tell her all about our trip, and during the week Amy will be here as well, so we’ll visit together. :)

Friday was supposed to be maintenance night, but I don’t think they would have liked that at the airport. So we had maintenance tonight, and instead of feeling sleepy as I should, I am somehow wide awake and feeling pleasantly relaxed. :)

Wishing you all a 
very happy 
weekend!

Sunday, June 12, 2016

When things are good the monster appears




 Finally, I find time to write something. I have not caught up on what you do, yet, and I am sorry for that. Somehow things are pretty busy for us, as seems to be normal now. :( However we have had a terrific time lately, the babies are awesome, Kate loves funny faces, she is so giggly and excited when we do that. Tilda has become pretty quick by now, I love how you can see that she is exploring all the time, and she has become a lovely little helper too. She knows how to put her own plate on the table, and at times Tilda puts socks into the sock drawer, instead of taking them out. :)

Things have settled down, which means that we have found our routine here, from visiting granny to baby gym, swimming, playdates, moments with friends, Amy comes visiting pretty often, too. Somehow she manages to squeeze in time, which is most awesome. Hubby has not had too much time lately, but at least we made the best out of the evenings. And in the upcoming week we’ll finally be off to the UK and spend time with the family. Woohoo!!! 
 
So, things have been really good, and then suddenly we get a punch in the stomach, out of nowhere…
On Tuesday and Wednesday Amy, the babies and I have been picnicking in a park. We had time to talk, play with the girls, be a little lazy, enjoy the warm sun, but then I saw one of the monsters I wished I’d never ever see again in my whole life. I almost got a heart attack when this happened, and I was close to throwing up, just from seeing him between the trees, not even close to us. He had seen me, but went away when he had noticed that I had discovered him. Amy had seen him too and tried to calm me down, but that did not work too well. We left the park and I called hubby who came home immediately, because I was such a mess.



With someone around I feel safe, and with hubby I know we are absolutely safe. I loved the weekend, because he had time, and even when he worked, it was nice, since he was at home. What I do not like is feeling as if being watched when going to the supermarket. Maybe I am simply overreacting, and I hate that one of the monsters still holds so much power over me, that just seeing him at the other side of a park is enough to let me panic. 

So, when we are back home from our trip, the babies and I will stay outside the city for a while, near granny’s home. I love my babies, hubby and Amy, and to protect them I’d do all I can, so that moving up north for a few weeks sounds like a minor inconvenience, until things have been sorted out. Actually this is not too different from our current life, because I do spend a lot of time near granny anyway (I’ll have plenty of time because I do not have to drive around that much. :)  ). However I do not like that now it makes me feel like running away or hiding. I have not had to do that before, because the baddies were gone, and I thought they were gone for good. 

I am so glad that we’ll be gone later next week. And I like that if there was someone stalking me, he’ll be very disappointed soon. :)

Anyways, 
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Full of all the good things