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Adult content warning!

This blog includes texts which are not suitable for minors. So, if you are under the age of 18 or if my entries might offend you, please leave immediately.


Shoo! Shoo!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year!

You have been awesome as readers, friends and advisors, a big hug and thank you for your support.
Wishing you all a peaceful and very happy new year!

new year's resolutions:
 I have actually managed to keep some of these throughout the year! 
I did drive much slower ever since we knew that Tilda was there. So, actually she deserves merit for this. :) I'll try again in 2015!

And I had another new year's resolution from last year that I see as sort of completed. I wanted to do more swimming and jogging. I skipped jogging with my bump, but went swimming quite often. ... and will again, soon, with Tilda in her course at the latest. :D
Anyways, I think that qualifies as a success. 

For 2015 I'll try hard to do my best, maybe the lines below are a good start.

Friday, December 26, 2014

The second best Christmas present – 26th very late night edition

Whoa, what a ride! Down into the basement of disappointment in the morning and then I got the second best Christmas present ever. The best being Mathilda (of course!). :-D

I am sorry to make such a fuss about things. But this was a really wild ride for me today. And since I do not want my venting entry to be the newest entry, … I sneaked into the office to write a few lines from the bright side of life. :) It is late here and everybody else is in bed and I’ll go there soon too, but this is just too special. Hmmm, I would have made this a quiz if I had had the patience to wait until somebody guessed what happened, but I simply cannot wait. This is awesome and I am reeeaaalllly excited about it. Forget excited, happy is the word.
So, in the morning hubby left rather abrupt and unexpectedly and since we had completely different plans than that, I was really disappointed. … Now I feel a little bad because I was, but that’s another story. Tilda asleep, hubby gone, nobody to call, ‘Do they know it’s Christmas time’ on the radio... What a bummer to hear that refrain when you are all of a sudden left alone at home. 

Clever me thought that I should tidy and prepare everything (after three anti-frustration biscuits), so that we would have more time without too many interruptions once hubby returned. This kept me busy in the kitchen and I had finished peeling potatoes when hubby was standing in the door. … He can be extremely subtle and sneaky. I had not heard him arriving nor coming through the door. He made a bloody serious face and that alone stopped me immediately. 

“Something has happened…” he said and I came to him, because he had opened his arms to give me a hug. With this serious face of his, it was as if I needed a lot of comfort and had to prepare for the worst … This was NOT funny! This was already a shock situation for me. He almost made me cry before I knew what was going on in the first place. The way he looked at me could have meant that somebody had died. So, those few steps from the kitchen counter to his arms were enough to devastate me completely. I did not know anything of what this really was about, yet. 

“You know, there is something you should know …”. Still the serious face. 

“Come here…”. I was in the doorway by then, in his arms, his coat around me. By then I think I was crying, because this was too much like other moments when it was most serious. 

“Look…” he turned me to the entrance. I had no idea what that meant. … Somebody was standing there, two were standing there. I hit hubby on the chest, because this was really so very mean, … and went directly on into the arms of my parents-in-law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

This was the biggest and most unexpected surprise and present that could have happened. Hubby and his parents had the idea to surprise me with this. Well, and they were simply too curious about their fabulous granddaughter, of course. :D So, we actually had a lot of family time today. Tilda got endless additional cuddles and my mother-in-law was so sweet with her that it makes me smile just when I think about the two of them together. Uhmmm, the whole day, after this rotten beginning, makes me smile. But not the part when hubby mislead me into thinking something horrible had happened. That w a s horrible and his mom scolded him for that. I did too, but it is not convincing when you do that while you are cheerful. 

I was so happy when I saw them and so relieved that I could forgive this prank immediately but I am very glad that I do not have any problems with the heart, because t h i s  way of surprising me is pretty strenuous!

I could not be cross with hubby, because he did something lovely by arranging everything so that his parents would be here for Christmas. I had thought we could only go and see them in spring, and now they are here! Awesome. :) He also said that he was sorry for creating that much of a shock in me, but I could see that he had trouble hiding his chuckles and grin. In some moments he might not have a clear idea just how convincing he can be when he does these things. 

It is late here, I am tired, happy and have to go to bed immediately. Next to me will be the big meanie and I will hold my cold feet at his legs to warm them up. Beware of my cold-footed revenge…

26th morning venting

… probably there are only very few who have time to read here, after all it is 26th December, Christmas. What I wanted to write about was spankings, but I’ll do that later. Currently I just can’t.
In a way, all is fine, Tilda is doing great, we had a great time with my family here on 25th and could need a little break this morning. Well, only a little break. … Then the phone rang. Next thing I see is that hubby jumps up; it must be urgent, something business, no time to talk, no explanation at all.

I know, I do overreact a little, but I am a little disappointed. Hubby can’t change these things, they happen, … but Christmas?! We had had plans for today, but last week hubby had canceled them and wanted to have the day for us to be home, family. Ok, well I loved that idea. Spending time as a family of three for the first Christmas ever with Tilda is awesome and time with hubby has been rare this December too and after a lovely spanking on Christmas eve I felt like cuddling with him ever since (entry will follow). Besides, just being in a cozy place with the two I love most, is all I could ever wish for.

Yeah, and now I am sitting here and write. Seriously, I think I am more than a little disappointed. :( … the most frustrating bit is that I cannot even call my bff, because she is celebrating/busy with her family and I would only spoil her fun. Therefore, I am doing a tiny bit of venting here. With Christmas songs. And biscuits. 

Afterwards I just hope that hubby will be back and we can celebrate a little more. And I’ll apologize then, because it is not his fault at all and I did not want to sound accusing at all either. His business, his responsibility. It must be really important, otherwise he would not have left so quickly and in a real hurry. I just hope that all will be good again and nothing too serious has happened. Well, seems that I can only guess until hubby returns and has time to tell. I think what I’d like to hear is that there really was no way around, just to know that it was a real emergency. … Overanalyzing is not helpful!

Cheer up, silly...Sorry, talking to myself. LoL, Tilda went from overexcitement because of Jingle Bells, to having a Christmas nap within the last five minutes. We have not had the time yet to install a mirror for her, so that she could see herself. But I have held a mirror and let her look at this lovely little cutie pie. She is always excited about her reflection and finds it endlessly interesting… until my arms are tired. :) I love holding the mirror, because she is distracted then and I can watch her for quite a while as she tells her reflection about her life. I hope she did not mention the spanking sounds on Christmas eve, though. :)

Sorry for the silly venting post. I’ll better hope for the best and try to cheer up. Hmmm, biscuits are always a good way to change the mood. Yummy, chocolate biscuits. :) …(shouldn’t cheer up this way too often, though!).

 Anyways. Enjoy the season and have a merry Christmas and lovely holiday!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Merry Christmas :D

Wow, finally Christmas is there again, and most of you have finished all the preparations, 
... such as finding the right tree for the living room

You have wrapped all presents

decorated the tree
 (can't wait to do that together with Tilda!)

... probably also decorated everything else ...

Is your Christmas tree cat/dog/child proof?

Everybody wants to help in the kitchen for the extensive preparations. ... Heck, where is everybody?!

And it is important to dress up appropriately, isn't it? :D

And when you finally sit together, I hope so much that you can enjoy yourselves much more than the Simpsons on the sofa.

Maybe more like this 
(I love it!)

Although we have every reason to be very grateful for this marvelous year, we never forgot that there are some in blogland who had to deal with hardship, loss and sadness and I hope that there will be a little peace for them during Christmas and better days ahead. Some in blogland have written in wonderfully heartwarming and lovely words that they have you in their hearts and thoughts, and they are right, you are important, you are in our thoughts and hearts. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas time, filled with love, peace and moments of reconnection. ... and an occasional spanking. ;)

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Good week but not yet for Romeo and Juliet

Well, the title gives away most of the mood of this entry, I guess, so all I can do is make my mixed salad of topics sound a bit more enigmatic.

Sparkling eyes (ok, not really enigmatic)
This is going to be somewhat of a good week I believe. We were so worried from last week throughout the weekend, because one of my friends has fallen ill with cancer. Nevertheless, there are pretty good news about her by now and that has come as the biggest relief for us. She was so distraught and we could only try to comfort her until the more appeasing news came. The doctors say it is safe enough to have surgery at the beginning of January and they are confident that all will be well with her. We are simply grateful for these positive news and how much that has helped to bring back her full zest for life. It  might sound absolutely silly, but the difference was so visible just from the sparkle in her eyes that it left me speechless. So, that alone is something that makes this week a good one.

Boring but better
In addition, I got considerably more sleep lately (last week), because I feed Mathilda very late in the evening and for now there is only one other short nighttime drink before she wakes us early in the morning. This means that I can have around 4 to 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night in addition to around two or even three hours rest at night. ... Ok, this is boring news for most, but for us here it makes a major difference. Suddenly there is this tiny bit of additional energy and being less weary makes the days so much better too. Mine have been good days before too, because of Tilda, but being more awake makes everything more fun for me.

Looking for more
As a result, Tilda and I have finished decorating the house for Christmas. :) Hubby was impressed by what I had managed to do. Either this, or he was impressed because I had made it through the day without breaking something (happened now and then lately). Not sure yet, because somehow he had this sardonic smile all over his face when he came home. I trust him with my life, but I know that there is something going on when he has this look, a positive one ... and very attractive. I have missed this a little (<-- make it a huge 'little') during the last two months and I do admit that I have to work harder to gain back some more of our intimacy. I can't wait for spankings -as everybody knows by now- because they will help, but I think I have to make an effort to get back more of 'us'. Although this year's December is much better than last year's, hubby and I have trouble finding enough moments where we can be close. Hopefully this will change soon. I am not talking about a crisis, it is just that we both want to be close, but currently hubby is away most of the time, and when he is there, either he is tired, or I am already asleep. Lousy timing for romance and we do understand that due to so many different things we are really glad  to fall into bed and rest. ... Not ideal yet to revive any form of libido.

Monday morning mojo
Monday morning my doc has given me advice about how to get some of my mojo back. Well, actually it is a sort of  list, and I might write it down so that I can put it here. She had many good ideas and -surprise surprise- this will take time. Can you imagine how great it would have been to have my mojo back at Christmas, just to get spanked and afterwards ... yummy. But I don't believe it will be this way. Well, we can try, but any sort of impatience or pressure would take all the fun out of having adult fun, so I'll just wait and see. And I'll work on recollecting mojo, according to my doc's ideas.

Romeo: It was the nightingale, and not the lark,
That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear.
Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree.
Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.
(poetic licence: it should be Juliet who says this, but she is still looking for her mojo at this time)

Juliet: Oh, come on, wake up, you know it was Tilda and not this darn bird!

Romeo: ... !

I wish you the best of weeks and hope you all finish wrapping your Christmas presents in time!

Friday, December 12, 2014

Blinkies, buttons and falling snow

This is just a quick note for those interested in adding something moving or blinking to their blog. I looked for Christmas-related stuff, but I am sure that there is much more to be found.

Dotty Dot Dot has free backgrounds, and some of these are really funny. One I found awesome was a Doodle-background.
In addition, they also have a few free blinkies. They are added like a gadget, via copy and paste. You can find an easy to follow 'How to install' there too.

Falling snow
And, just right for Christmas in the snow, I found a free snow storm effect on the spice up your blog site. There are easy instructions -I think I only pushed two buttons- and at least for the moment, there is a little snowing going on in my blog. :)

What I like about these two pages is that they have made it pretty easy, because the changes that you can have are only added like a gadget. I feel less insecure about redecorating something in my blog when adding or deleting is just about a single gadget. If I make a mistake there, I don't feel as if losing the whole blog because of a mistake.

So, I hope the effects work the way they should. Let it snow, let snow, let it snow!

... high-tech stuff is not interesting for me either, 
so if I bored you with the above, 
I can offer this

Have a very nice and wonderful weekend everybody!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Changing the blog background

Christmas approaches so quickly and because of this, and some frustration, I thought that a makeover of my blog was overdue. So I tried. I am not completely happy with the current looks, but at least it has something christmassy. I'll try out more, so don't be surprised if all is a mess for a long while. The first things I could change successfully, were backgrounds.

Finding pictures
When I looked for a Christmas-look for my blog, I googled for 'free vintage Christmas  blog background'. Later on I also tried this with 'free blog templates'. The results were awesome. Of course, there are always those which are not for free, but the vintage pictures alone are definitely worth looking at, as there are many absolutely cute and beautiful ones. 

As far as I know, there are two different ways of installing a new background to your blog. One is uploading a complete picture. This is a background picture from 'the cutest blog on the block', but you can use any kind of picture that you have. I have tried something like that in early summer and I think that the picture I wanted to upload as a background was too big as a file. The Blogger help says something about 300(k or kb? don't remember and don't know them) as a limit, and if the picture is too big, you get a message.

To upload your own background go to the menu where you can write new posts, have an overview, statistics, etc.  .

Go to templates

there you find a button called 'Customize' and this opens another menu, the 'Blogger Template Designer'

Go to background, once there, you can press into your current background picture, which should be on display.

This opens a new window, full of alternative backgrounds, and on top, you can upload your own window, similar to how you do it if you imbed a picture in your blog entry.

The second way is a copy and paste of the html-code. ... Sounds impressive, doesn't it? I have no idea what that is, but the instructions from the 'the cutest blog on the block' homepage are easy enough for me, a complete computer dummie, so you can do this much better, and probably already have.

I copied and pasted their instruction about installing a new background. Here, you just have to copy and paste the html and put it into your blog as a new gadget.

Blogger Install

  1. Log onto your blog.
  2. Click on your 'Design' tab or 'Layout' tab.
  3. Click 'Add a Gadget'.
  4. Click on the (+) sign next to 'HTML/JavaScript'.
  5. Paste the entire code in that space.
  6. Click 'Save' and you now have a new HOT blog!

This is the html-code to the Love and literature background:

I had the problem that the header would not fit, the details for that one are in the advanced section.

Some blinky and button fun?
You can look for buttons and blinkies for a blog too. I did not find out much about it yet, but I thought it would be nice to know that these things exist. I have tried this one, it is for free from
'the shabby blog' site


The html-code is installed the same way you install a new background via 'Add a Gadget'

<a border="0" href="" target="_blank"><img src=""/></a>

Concerning templates:
 Be careful! The original Blogger templates might be pretty basic, but I found them the only ones which were easy to handle. I had uploaded a complete Christmas template from elsewhere, but could not change the structure of it the way I wanted. Well, and first of all, I had to find out how to get back into those sections which only the blog-owner has access to. This template was not really usable for me. That's why I currently only have a Christmas background and a slightly different Christmas header.
 If you look for blogger templates, again, there are gazillions of them for free, and there are pages where you can see a demo of them, so that you can decide if you want to download it or not.

One criteria for me was the number of columns, because I liked it with three columns in my blog. Therefore I ignored all with less than three, but that's just a matter of personal preference. 
I'd always try to see a demo now, and look out for the buttons that let you get into your blog-owner sections. But that may just be due to my ignorance in computer and software stuff.

As far as I could see there is much more that you can change, if you dare to. If I figure out more, I'll write it down as well. It might take time, though, because I am really slow with these things and still afraid that my blog will disappear because of pushing some wrong button. Therefore, it's one step at a time for me, nevertheless I hope this is maybe helpful for you.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

under construction

As you can see, I am trying to figure out again how to change the colours and pictures in my blog. Well, if I go on like that I will have the perfect Christmas background around Easter. Ok, challenge accepted! This computer stuff takes time for me, especially since I am distracted and don't have much time to spend on this either, uhmmm and maybe also because I simply have no clue. :)

In more than one way, the 'only 30 minutes' situation from my last post is still haunting me. It is another kind of construction site. It seems that I cannot get out of this situation so that it is settled for me, or  I am strong enough not to worry about it. And I do know that for some it might just appear as a small kind of problem. 
In a way, it is. Nevertheless, I have imagined all sorts of baby-related problems coming up once Tilda was there. But I had never imagined a bunch of family and friends who care so much that they want to do too much good by offering too much help, so that I could have a sort of time-out I simply do not want. 

Writing it down like this has an alleviating effect, but I am not done with this issue. There will still be a lot of talking involved, until I have convinced everybody, especially my mom. I love her, but she is not really listening at the moment. My best female friend understood pretty well that I did not want to leave my baby alone yet. And I wanted to keep Amy out of this if possible, because she's family and too close and important, not only for me, but also for my parents. So, if I forced her to take sides, she would probably find a way, but it would be pretty unfair to drag her into something I should be able to solve either on my own or together with hubby. Actually I'd prefer to get through this without him or anybody else interfering, though I cannot even say why.

Hubby understood that all I want is some time. He has made his point, he would like to see me have a little extra-time for myself but won't push me. All in all, we do have time together (with Tilda nearby) and that's ok for him, for now. Well, this month is a bad example for 'us' time, because until the beginning of next year we have to make sure we do find enough time together, because he is pretty busy and away from home.

Be that as it may, I seem to leave the impression of suffering from cabin fever or something like that. Maybe I have talked too much to Tilda and they all think I am completely nuts. I don't know.

Well, but if, then ....

If anybody wonders what the heck I am writing, I am sorry, at least half of this is more like talking to myself to organize my thoughts.

I couldn't resist this one
(not my place!?)

Anyways, I hope that all of you have a wonderful rest of the week, and if possible hug someone you love.  
It is one of the best ways to feel so much better.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Only 30 minutes

“You can do it. Feed her, then we’ll take care.” I have heard this more than once lately and the trouble behind it is sort of a very nice one. Family and friends offer help, because they want us/me to go out, spend some time without Tilda, and it does not even have to be long (well, couldn’t, be long I should say). So, the trouble is, I enjoy short times without Tilda, but only when I know that she's within reach and I could see her whenever I feel like it. 

What everybody keeps saying is that I -or hubby and I- should actually be doing things without Tilda nearby. I don’t want that, though. I simply don’t want to be without her, at least not yet. To complicate everything a little more, I know that I should look for times without baby, and having 'us' time when I know she is only a few metres away, is ok, but not more. I feel uneasy when I cannot go and check on her. We have tried that during the week and although I enjoyed the short walk, my thoughts were always back home. My mom was home, so I knew that nothing would happen. But that is only what you know because reasoning tells you so. It did not help at all, because my worries were still there all the time.

I’ll be the perfect helicopter mom later on. Well, I’ll apologize another time for that, but now, all I want is go and check on Tildy whenever I think I should. I see that this might be a problem but right now I cannot work against this urge, on the contrary, I love it far too much that she is nearby. I tell her all day long what I do. ‘Mommy is peeling potatoes. Is mommy peeling potatoes? Oh yes, look, big potatoes, small potatoes, funny looking potatoes, ….”  Guess what we had for lunch. 
I have managed a lot of laundry this week, Tilda knows all the details, because I have told her about every, I mean e  v  e  r  y  single piece. …. And love it. She’s gurgling, cooing, and tells me about her adventures too, and I simply love that. It means she is ok. Of course, nobody wants to take that away, it is only about a short break from baby care, and I enjoy such breaks, but not when baby is too far away. 

Hubby says he understands, and he has to, because he knows where my worries come from and he cares for Tilda just as much as I do, I know. Nevertheless, he is more relaxed than I am, and in a way he also repeats what mom, sisters, friends say. Therefore, he has already mentioned that we will have a short ‘us’ time outside, away from home, only a walk, only as a starter. My best friend will care of Tilda, so there is definitely nothing to worry about, but I am not really happy about it either right now. I want ‘us’ time too, it is precious for us, and a walk outside is great, but I’d love to take Tilda with us when we go.