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Adult content warning!

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Shoo! Shoo!

Friday, May 30, 2014

Lawn mower madness

Warning! Venting ahead! 

What's wrong with mowing the lawn?! I just don't get it. No, not true, I get it. I was out this morning, doing some gardening. Real innocent gardening, in fantastic early summer weather. All was good.  I even put a hat on, got my bottle of water and had prepared the racing track to the loo. So, all was perfect. I went into our shed and saw the mower. It's one of those you  have to push. And this was awfully attractive. I saw it, I wanted it. ... And the lawn needed to be cut. Perfect. So, I got it out and started it without problems and cut the lawn. I was content. NO, I was happy. I do not know why, but I love that. Maybe because it is the loudest machine that I am allowed to use. Maybe there is some streak in me that wants to show that women can do work with machines other than Hank and the dishwasher? I have no idea, but I love mowing and I do not always get the chance.

We are not in the mountains, there are no hills and ups and downs in our garden. So, this was not really hard work. Getting up in the morning after a short night is harder to do than mowing, I think. So, I pushed this red monster of noise and was happy, and suddenly hubby was behind me, looking at me disapprovingly, stopping me, switching the poor mower off. I was really surprised. I had no idea that he'd be here this morning, and was definitely not prepared for being scolded by him.

Basically, it was the preggo+physical strain=forbidden scolding. I got that a  few times in the past, e.g. when I wanted to carry filled shopping bags into the house. Imagine, all pregnant singles would starve, if this really was such a hard work. Sorry. I apologize for being too ironic. I tried to 'discuss' things in this style, because the whole situation had really hit me by surprise. My point of view is that I can mow the lawn. It is not difficult. Hubby says this is not what I am allowed to. I think he was mad at me, because you have to start our mower with this cord that you have to pull. So this could be hard work. But it wasn't!

Well, my reaction was admittedly inappropriate. I was really pouting and backtalking and felt as if  a favourite toy was taken away. And I thought this was unfair. Maybe I still do, a little bit. 

We have come that far with baby. Hubby does not want to see me doing a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. which could pose any risk to baby. He is right. And I did not take his fears into account. Maybe it looked like hard work, when I pushed the mower? All I know is that the machine was what I wanted to use this morning.

Did I think? Well, no. Hubby reminded me that we had talked more than once about these things and he does not want me to carry, push, drag or use anything heavy and especially not, if it could be a dangerous machine in itself (e.g. chainsaw + old tree + me). He is right, and this restriction doesn't exist without reason. Nevertheless, I am pretty frustrated at the moment. I am angry because I finally understood that, at least, I should have asked first. The thought never turned up. I am not joking when I say I had no thought about any safety regulation and rule that we follow here. 

I am also frustrated because I still feel as if something was taken away which I can handle. What vexes me most about it, is that at the same time, I can see clearly why hubby stopped me. He is definitely the last one who wants me to suffer and he is no spoilsport. He did it for baby and for me. 

Now I am really absolutely frustrated. Hubby had sent me in and stopped my gardening for the day. I am grounded for today. Not, because I have used the mower. He asked me, how I came up with that idea, in the first place. Last night we had talked about today's schedule and I wanted to be out in the garden. No talk about the mower then. That brilliant idea of mine only came when I saw the little red cutie in the shed. No, the real reason why I am grounded is my backtalk. And it is not because I tried to stand my ground, after all I thought I did something good. It was because I did not listen to what hubby was about and started backtalking as my way of defending, because the situation was out of hand for me. Hubby did not accuse me of anything, so there was no reason to defend, apart from my ego. :-(

Well, suddenly I have plenty of time inside, while outside is the best weather this week. Hubby will be back again in about two hours and I'll make amends. By now, after calming down  and venting here, I feel like a complete blockhead. You know, if I could get a spanking, this would be solved and peace would return immediately. Stress relief. Another possibility would of course be, to hold my thoughts together, but currently ....

We are going to discuss this again and this time I'll be more reasonable. And I'll apologize from the heart, because the only one who escalated everything was I and hubby has to know that I never wanted to cause him trouble, although I did and feel very sorry now for my childish reactions.

God and St. Francis Discussing Lawns

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.Will and Guy's humour - Lawns
ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.  They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring.  It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about ...
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis


Thursday, May 29, 2014

Metallica and cookies

So, this early morning (4.30am) yes, you guessed it, I couldn't sleep. I was awake, staring at the ceiling, hubby sleeping quietly next to me. At night baby had danced. I love that, and when I am in bed, I wait for that all the time to happen. So I did at 4.30, but I think baby was asleep. But I felt like I had had a bucket of coffee. Ha, if only! Well, it was no use, I had to get up and the decision was more about Oreos or no Oreos. I. do. not. like. them. But give me some, please. I had only one this morning. I think one of the reasons why I can't stand them (can I have another one, please?) is, that they are a bunch of chemicals and nothing else. They are like Lego. Pure plastic. (Could you give me one more, please?)

So, those Oreos go against anything that I connect with a real cookie. As a result, I looked at this edible Lego, disgusted, and stuffed it in. Wonderful. Hate you! My decision was clear. I made four baking trays full of vanilla crescent cookies. The smell! I think I never enjoyed this smell more than this morning. Usually I want those in winter, but at the moment I could keep bathing in them.

Hubby woke up earlier than I had anticipated, but that was my fault, because the smell of fresh cookies, real cookies, sweet, vanillaesque, soft and crunchy, was everywhere in the house. We had an excessive breakfast, with freshly baked cookies, cereals, fruit, bacon and ham. ... Hubby had coffee. I could only smell it, though. I think for Christmas I want a good girl spanking and my own package of coffee. 

Anyway. After breakfast and cleaning the kitchen, I went online and read a little. Roz had slightly objected, because in my last blog entry I had written that I want soft and calm songs for baby, and I contrasted that with rock music. And Roz is a fan of rock music, so she is definitely right to object. 
I must admit that my favourite rock songs are only few. But those I really enjoy listening to. And when I read Roz' comment, I still had cookies on my mind. So, I went back into the kitchen and started two more trays of cookies while listening to Nothing else matters (on repeat), as loud as possible. I am not a Metallica fan, otherwise, but this song is great. Play it loud!

It did not take long before hubby appeared again and he had watched me dancing and preparing my cookies for some time, before I even noticed that he was standing in the door. He enjoyed my show and did not stop me. Yes, he is lenient at the moment, but then again, he understands my Oreo problem, and he has known his little weirdo for so many years by now, that he had to learn a lot of serenity, just because he is with me. I love him. 

By now the second round of cookies is almost done, the music is still loud and I feel like I am stone deaf. Baby will love the song later on, She has heard it about twenty and more times this morning, and there is no escape. Hubby has left the house, maybe listening to the same song twenty times is too demanding? Don't know, but working in the kitchen with loud music feels good. 

I cannot throw away the Lego cookies, just in case, but my craving has left me this one choice, Oreos or vanilla crescents. I am saved, I have real cookies now. I'll make up for the noise I created throughout the house and will try really hard to serve hubby well, so that he feels cherished and loved.

And I hope you all have a lovely day

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Week 22 – the reunion -Oreo-baby can hear me - post

We have made it to week 22 :-)

Let’s feast ! … On Oreos.  I did not like them before, but out of a sudden I do understand that there are some who create almost religion-like rituals about devouring them. And the worst, I somehow still don’t like them, but I want to eat them. Well, maybe I should go and eat the ash of cigarettes, like some others have the urge to do…. And there are no calories in that either. :-) Nah, I’ll just be good and eat one Oreo, and another, and one more. Suddenly there are none. I have never understood that before, until now. I hate them, but gimme more! (They are not even real cookies, are they?)

Baby hears you (so watch what you say!)

I snatched that line out of an email I got last night. And the suggestion behind this is, that it is good when I sing to her. So far baby has learned all the lyrics from Frozen, ‘Let it go' most of the time, because I had to sing it for days in the kitchen and elsewhere. It is sticky. Our baby is due in October, so ‘Do you want to build a snowman’ is almost appropriate, too. Let’s see. She knows some classical music, but I also spoiled her with Ellie Golding and some other pop. Of course, I played Alice Cooper and AC/DC …. Ha, gotcha. :-) I know that babies react to music once they can hear, and you can guess what I am waiting for now. I want her to dance, of course, and later, after birth, it is said that songs babies heard in utero have a more soothing effect on them than others. So, I’ll try more of the traditional children’s songs and soft and calming music. ... And definitely not Hardrock!

Reunion ... and an early bedtime

To have hubby back is awesome. When he came back, we celebrated our reunion. But I also knew that he was dead tired from a week where he had worked a lot and surely had not slept much. And I could see that. Hey, I was not selfish, hubby couldn’t sleep at first and he needed a few hours to adjust a little. There’s nothing wrong in doing the adjustment in bed, is it? As I have mentioned in my last post, he was definitely not out to punish me. Maybe he’d have fallen asleep half way through a possible lecture? I will never find out, but I am glad that we had it his way, because of his trust in me.
 Anyway. Our Monday evening idea was to go to a restaurant. After all, this will not happen too often when baby is there. Yes, the plan was a really good one and I couldn't wait for the evening to come. But first we had a very pleasant morning and after lunch more pleasant moments, though in the evening our plan evaporated. Hubby had fallen asleep on the sofa and I think it was best that way. As much as I would have loved to be out with hubby, he obviously needed a good night’s sleep. I could barely wake him up and tried successfully to bring him to bed. Usually it would be more like the other way round, but not this time. I loved to undress him and tug him in and Tuesday morning he got a late breakfast served in bed with all service possible. :-)

We had thought about trying the restaurant yesterday instead, but hubby still looked too tired, more so than Monday morning, after a long journey. Still, I think we used the time we had well, for talking and reconnecting. 
Now about the more unusual part: In the evening I asked(begged) hubby if I could decide his bedtime only once, because I cannot sleep early at the moment, since I am still a part-time insomniac, whereas he, on the other hand, looked as if he needed additional sleep and did not want to, because I had made it pretty obvious that I was so happy to have him back. 
Hubby agreed  and so I could send him to bed a little later than nine pm. I admittedly loved that. Usually I'd be the one whose bedtime is set by hubby. And sending him to bed early was nice because often enough I know that he does so much for me and I do not always have the means to do the same for him. OmG, this sounds weird now. What I mean is, I do all for hubby. But sometimes this is not enough and doing this little bit extra, a little more, is what I want to do.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Hold the line

This is my version of 'hold the line'. Hubby has returned safely pretty early in the morning. He came home and had to wake me up! Although I was excited because he would return, I could sleep far better last night, knowing he'd be back home soon, and we had such a lovely start together, a breakfast and a reunion.  The really absolutely adorably lovely type of reunion. But I was hungry, so breakfast was very important, too, in a way.

There's no punishment in for me. Hubby has listened to me and admitted that not sticking to safety rules usually would mean a sort of punishment is due. But he said he would hate himself if he started our reunion with a punishment. -->Especially because his wife (i.e. me) is so pregnant and cute :-) (I added only one of the adjectives, hubby used the other one). Hubby is just happy that baby and I are well and concerning my wet lightning night experience, he pointed out that it was not my intention to break the rules. Then he pointed at my bump and said 'Hormones!'.  Wait! What? That was it?!

Well, in a way there is a good sort of discipline in it for me, nevertheless. Since hubby wants to spend time with me, he decided that I am not supposed to go online for more than checking mails. I asked for a small note in my blog, but got only five minutes, so, this time, I am writing the short version of events. Hubby will try to stay away from most work, today and tomorrow, which means he'll only do a little business stuff and otherwise we'll just have time together (and he has to catch up on sleep as well). Quality time! What a wise man, and he's all mine ... I am all his. :-) (sorry, teaser)

I am extremely relieved now, because hubby is here, has shown that he loves me and he believes me, which is important for me, since I still claim that I did not do anything wrong intentionally. But then again, I still feel guilty, because I think I should have been more observant than I was that night. In his opinion, there is no use in pondering about things I couldn't change. Instead, I should think positively and try to be better next time. I'll try hard. 

Have a nice Monday and Tuesday, everybody. 

I can't wait to jump hubby again. :-)

Forgotten - edition :-)

This is the Sunday morning forgotten facts edition

 1. Forgotten facts I remembered again

1. If you google 'Forgetting things during pregnancy' you immediately get 3.140.000 hits. Ha!
(I am still trying to strengthen my case for Monday, when hubby will be back)

2. Hubby answered last night. He's going to call me today, but his concern was only whether I was ok. He wrote that we'll sort things out after he is back and I should not worry.

3. I'd absolutely feel better if I got some kind of discipline for breaking our rules, but ...
a. looking at walls or corners is plain boring
b. I really don't want my computer privileges taken away
c. I still claim being not completely guilty. Darn, see 3.

4. Yesterday evening, I was outside in the garden. Wait, no rule broken, it was not dark! When I went in, I locked the door, the windows and congratulated myself for being so canny. Then I looked out and saw that I had not taken any of the stuff which I had brought out, back in. Frustration, here I come.

5. I keep forgetting why I do enter certain rooms, where things are, where I put them only a moment ago. These things can happen, once in a while, but lately they happen rather often ...  per day.

6. When I had (mild) cramps in the bump, two weeks ago, I was seriously panicking. It turned out, within the hour, that this was not labour, so no worries!! On the contrary, this can happen and this only means that the body is adapting well. 
I did not forget writing about it, because this was a real shock when it happened, and you don't forget something like that, but I absolutely needed time to get over it. The good news is: I can breathe that kind of cramps away quickly!

7. One reason for being forgetful during pregnancy can be related to not sleeping enough. But it is definitely only one out of many and from my point of view, the others are hormone-related. ... And I am sleeping better again than before I started drinking valerian tea. So, I sleep more, but instead of forgetting less, I still forget more than ever.

8. Yesterday morning we went shopping and ... I have a nice, simple new swimsuit, very stretchy, all black and not even expensive. It will grow with me. :-)

  2. My week of mental strain :-)

Not me this week:
human thinking at its best: rational, colourful, exciting, inventive, sympathetic, emotional,...

... my reality

as a result I feel a bit like this

...and I don't care, as long as I have this

today I would love this

but actually I feel I deserve more this

Well, I'd gladly accept physical discipline, because that would leave me completely at peace, but I can't get that until winter.

And  when hubby returns, I know we need this.

And a lot of this :-)

You know, apart from the night of lightning and my stupid behaviour, there is one other kind of crisis,  after one week with my still absolutely overactive libido, and without hubby to help out, I want a lot of this, of course, please.

Denying this would be the only form of discipline I'd consider outright cruel at the moment. But hubby is not like that. Haha, and he hasn't had sex for a week either, now let's wait and see. :-)

Friday, May 23, 2014

I can still break rules

... and I claim foggy brain as my only real excuse, I think. Last night was noteworthy. I was alone at home with baby. The two of us had a pleasant evening with some music and reading, but I went to bed early (9.30pm). Considering that I still have trouble sleeping this is very exemplary from my side. :-) 
The night before, when baby moved and I recognized this the first time, I slept well, once the excitement had settled a little. But this night was as many before. I had tea and was relaxed and very willing to sleep. And simply couldn't. I tried hard and was relaxed and thought I'd doze off while waiting for baby to dance again. She did that for a few minutes and I loved it. But I was no closer to sleeping than before. I should add that at this time there had been thunder and lightning and heavy rain. This was really impressive, the lightning went on and on, just like the rain. Did I also mention that it was rather warm in the house from a very warm day? Well, I couldn't sleep, was a bit uneasy, and one major reason was that it was too warm to sleep. 

So I did the only thing I could. I went up again, tried some more tea and had no real idea of what to do. I think it was about 2 pm at night and I felt sweaty and the climate was as if I was in a jungle. And it was raining again. So I decided to go out into the rain - and loved it. I got completely soaked and it felt as if I was taking a shower. In a way, I was. It felt fantastic and after maybe half an hour outside I went in again. I felt refreshed and more tired than before. I locked the door (!) and went to bed. But I didn't tell you that I had opened some of the windows downstairs, but only towards the garden. I did not close them, they were wide open throughout the night. Actually I had not thought at all about them. Forgotten. 

When I came down in the morning, I almost got a shock from seeing that two windows were still wide open. I felt fantastic last night, in and after the rain, but in the morning, when I felt more alone and all was quiet, it was pretty scary. I went all through the house, to make sure there was no intruder. The good news about this is, that I found an old cake pan in the shape of a sheep (no joke) .... And I felt like a sheep too.  Of course, there was no burglar, nobody had entered and I closed the windows again and no harm was done. 


...  I do claim a serious case of foggy brain? Just wanted to make that clear.

... I am not allowed out at night, alone. Safety issues.

... I am not allowed to leave doors or windows unlocked. Same reason.

... when I open them, I have to close and lock them again. See above.

So, usually I would have hubby in the house and actually I would feel safe with him around, even if we slept in the middle of a pitch. Last night I felt safe, too, I think. I sort of did not think at all, to be honest. Bah, I don't want to whitewash anything, either. I am angry about my stupidity. And I am willing to accept all that hubby decides.

Still, I don't want to ruin Monday morning, when hubby will come back early. I want hubby to be happy when he comes back and the last thing is to start our reunion with something like 'Oh, by the way, I left two windows wide open on the ground floor, so that any murderers, burglars, and whoever, could come in while you were not there, and so that everybody was invited to take advantage of the situation. Some more tea, dear?'

I know two things for sure: 

1. The Queen is not amused.

2. He will be worried because of what might have happened to baby and I. At the same time hubby will be a little cross because hubby considers leaving doors and windows open at night a safety risk.

2.1 Honey, I love you !

To sum it all up:

I claim sort of guilty and not guilty, your Excellency.

And the display of lightning that night was marvelous.

I have thought about writing an email, because hubby checks these every day. But I don't want to distract him while he is working.
This will give me another sleepless night, because I'll have to decide quickly what would be the best way to deal with this. 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

She's kicking me!

Yippie! Finally, she's kicked me. Last night I felt those little soda bubbles from within. Not gas! I had some kind of bubbles the last nights before, I think, but I was closer to dreaming and thought that I had just imagined it again, but last night she was busy dancing in the bump for a few minutes :-) 

Although I knew that all was fine with baby, just to feel her inside is a huge relief. I hadn't noticed that before, until it happened last night. Afterwards I slept well, like a baby, btw.
Hubby knows, I have texted him last night and he is as happy as can be. I think this was important for him too. Just to have me tell him, that baby kicks. So, whatever else might be today, I think I'll be immune to it, because I am so relieved and happy. :-)

This is a very clear signal that you are not alone

Wow, I have seen some baby bumps, but not once encountered one with that footprint.
That's awesome :-)

Apart from some little things, I feel great. But I did hear your warnings as well!

I couldn't resist this one

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

It's getting hot in here ...

Somehow I had one thought in February that I pushed veeerrrry far away. Too far away. Now, it has become so much warmer, summer-like, almost hot, and the thought came back with full force: I am pregnant throughout summer. Duh! 

So far, I always went swimming with bikinis or what swimsuits I had, and had already bought an additional one for the first months, which was comfy and I grew a little bit into it, but there is a limit to how much you can stretch it, and I simply cannot wear any of my old swimsuits any longer. Well, I could, but by now I'd have to decide whether I wanted to wear it above or below my bump. :) 

So, I cannot avoid it any longer and will have to go shopping. Shopping for swimsuits, tankinis or bikinis. .... With a melon ... :-) I am still in the process of deciding whether I should love or hate the idea. Shopping for swimsuits has always been a critical activity for me, but now, I have my bump and love it. That really makes up for much. I'll take my best friend with me. She is skinny, compared to me, at the moment. But she's very supporting and I know even now that I'll need a lot of support. I mean really grand scale now. And I guess I'll go for the swimsuit, or even better, a tankini, but it won't be a bikini. I would feel underdressed with that one in public.

 We are in week 21 :-)

And contrary to what some believe ....

 .... getting pregnant is not a disease !

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The kitchen is a nice place to be

Today (Tuesday) I have too much time for myself. This is because we had our girls’ day yesterday, which means that most of my friends have to work and cannot possibly have another day off. 

There are a few things to do around the house, though, because hubby and I have talked about what chores I have to finish during the week. We planned that in advance, before hubby had to go. But it is not really much and I can do it whenever I feel like it. And I really do need more time and am huffing and puffing far more than twenty weeks earlier. :) I  make the noise of a train and feel as big as one. Hmmm.

So, last evening I went to bed early enough, after my evening anti-insomnia milk and tea and I felt tired. … And still felt tired an hour later. You know, hubby says that I snore, which I don’t believe, but I miss his breathing next to me. So, even if I had no problems with sleeping, I guess it would have been a rotten night, because he was not there. … And another hour later I was fed up with waiting for sleep and got up again and went into the kitchen. 

First idea: some tea. Second idea: what a lovely wooden spoon. If only hubby was there to use it on me. I looked around in the kitchen and immediately found all sorts of devices that I’d love to have hubby use on my bottom. … In December ! There it is again. Since I can’t have it –out of the best reasons that we could ever imagine – I want spankings even more. Go into a room full of potential implements and try not to imagine scenes. Hubby who would have me bend over the kitchen counter, push my skirt up, knickers down, and I’d wait until he has chosen an implement. Probably he’d go for the wooden spoon, because that really stings and makes my bottom as red as he could ever wish for. 

But then again, we have a very nice (?) cake icer, too. It’s one made out of metal, long, thin and flexible and can be a little nasty, if hubby wanted that. But it would feel so good for me, now. You know, the last time I used it (to make a cake!!!) I looked at it with completely different eyes than before hubby had tried it as an implement. He has also used some other kitchen items, like a stirring spoon, for spanking, but it is not only good for spanking the bottom, and if you have salad tongs, be careful who you let them see. They are definitely good for torture, if your partner enjoys doing that.

Usually I don’t think much about what kitchen items hubby could use for spankings, instead, he sees an item and often enough has a number of ideas what to do with it. And none of these ideas is related to cooking. I mean, who on earth would see salad tongs in a kitchen and his first idea would be ‘they are great for pulling, pinching and twisting nipples!?’ Hubby would. :) I absolutely miss him, and my thoughts are about him and the nice things that we could do. … In December! 

spanking fun-section

A young guy was complaining to his boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.
"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her," the young man exclaimed.
"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife," replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".
Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore." 

 Once there was a little boy who never got into trouble. But one day, he broke a window, so his dad said, "Go upstairs and think about what you've done and I'll be up to give a spanking.
So this little boy is sitting upstairs, scared because he's never gotten a spanking and doesn't know what it's like. About 20 minutes later, his dad comes up,spanks him, then goes back downstairs.
The little boy is just sitting there, crying. Suddenly he stops, pulls his pants down, and backs up to the mirror. He gasps in shock, then pulls his pants back up.
He runs downstairs to his dad and says, "Are you satisfied now, daddy? You cracked it!"

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The little cat who was a lion who was a little cat who was a lion ...

The idea for this post came after I had seen the pictures EsMay published in her blog. Since I had a bad start into the week, by kissing hubby goodbye for the complete week ... :(((((... I thought something cheerful is in order now, after some self-pitying rambling from my side, that is.  :)

I mean, usually travelling now and then is part of hubby's job and I cope well. I have even been with him occasionally, so that we could have a few hours together. His travels are simply part of the hubby-package and I never had a real problem with that and could always focus on the time when he'd be back again.
But this time it really sucks that hubby is gone. I am needy, I know. This is not even one of the longer trips he has to do, but currently I feel it stronger than ever how much I want to be close to him. Somehow this had already started yesterday evening, after hubby's suitcase was packed. With everything prepared, everything looked so inevitable and irrevocable. But at least we had a few more hours together and that covered in a very nice way any unpleasant feeling of loss. :) For the record, this mad sexdrive of mine has not lessened at all. Maybe that adds to my confusion, though, it is not my primary concern in this very moment. And I have warned hubby before he left what might happen right after his return. ... Belly dancing :)

Early this morning, I had done some washing (a mere distraction) after hubby had left the house. And what did I do with his worn T-shirt? I inhaled it. It smelled so much like him and it gave me a meagre impression of him being here, so that I had stood there for several minutes doing nothing but breathing his smell in and burying my face into his T-shirt. It's only one silly week, but this time, I feel much stronger about him not being here. On the positive side, it is not more than  one week and he will be back again by next Monday. 

Yeah, bad intro to have something that cheers everybody up. Sorry for that, and you decide whether the entry that follows below is more positive or not. :)

What we are sometimes like:


Sometimes we are more like the lion from Oz

Sometimes we are just cute. Tired, but cute :)

But when we have to, we can also be like this

Once in a while (month) we feel like this

Then again we feel like this

But what we want is this

... to cheer up, I am going to have lunch with the girls

... but I'll also try to have a catnap

and I wish you all a very nice and pleasant start into the week :)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Physical distance

Yeah, I know, the title is like for a medical abstract. But actually it is the opposite of academic thinking. And it is only a little bit bump-related,  even though the thoughts started with my bump. I have written in a comment that if a man (a stranger; a non-friend) touched my bump, I'd always pray to have hubby around to stop that immediately and convincingly. I probably could do that on my own, but not as quick and not as good as my husband. This little space around me is too important for me, but not only this, also the way I use it for communicating.

So, the first thoughts are about my physical comfort zone. I don't mind, if friends and family hug me, kiss me, touch me. On the contrary, I need that so much, a lot of it. I want to have it and I want to give it. If anything, I'd probably become stunted if I had to live without loads of physical contact. It helps to connect, it has meaning, it helps me to bond, it adds to feeling good or better, it is a lot of comfort for me. Have you ever tried to remain unaffected by a tender touch? I guess it is impossible and you cannot avoid being affected and feel closer to each other. And, it definitely helps to create a feeling of safety, which is very important for me.  I could really recommend hugging as a therapy form. If you do that, or even just squeezing someone's hand, not out of pure habit, but consciously, this really makes you feel better and you have a mutual connection. Well, it works for our family and friends.

What I don't say to friends and family can sometimes be expressed better by hugging them, or touching them in the right moment. This does show so much affection, or does help so much to comfort one. You are simply closer. And these are only a few out of a very long list of positive and strengthening feelings that you easily express by using physical contact. Think about reassuring your friend. You could go for the verbal approach: "you will manage that, you can do it, you are fantastic, lovely, ....." Of course, but if I want to give reassurance to a friend, I think the verbal form is not enough for me. The other half of my message would have the form of hugging someone, squeezing, patting, etc..

And still, if someone who I don't want to have there, enters my comfort zone, I am immediately upset and in a fluster, and the nicest thing that I do is asking the intruder to step back.
I am not talking about situations where you simply cannot avoid close contact, e.g. in a crowded subway. I don't like that tooooo much, but it is ok, as long as the gentleman behind me keeps his fingers away from my bottom.

But there are people who intrude in situations where they could just keep this little distance  and don't do so. I don't want people that close who I cannot do the complete physical communication with. It is disturbing. I am known for even having preferences to who I might let closer. I have no problem with women who are intruding into my comfort zone and female friends are usually the ones who get the full benefits of much physical contact from me. If I have a really bad day and am less enthusiastic about showing much affection physically, they just ask what's wrong, because not hugging and touching is unlike me. :) And they want their hugs and being touched, too, which I think is so lovely.

But with men, it is far more complicated. Within family, it is ok, but with male friends I am far more reserved and reluctant. They get less of the good stuff. :) The major reason is of course that I don't want to give any wrong signal, neither to them, nor to hubby. So, it is another way of sending a message and keeping the distance, alas, some men don't understand that.