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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

What I don't want to hear this year

By now, most people who are important to us have heard about our pregancy. Hubby doesn't like that phrase much, because he always has this feeling that h e is growing a beer belly, but on the other hand, he teases me about my bump a lot, too.

Since I could still hide my bump in wide clothes, it would be rather easy to avoid any silly comments that might come. But actually I have started wearing blouses and shirts that are tight enough to show my bump. I think it looks nice, and if not, you better keep your mouth shut. Please.

But there are a few things that I'd rather not hear or experience during the next months, and nevertheless I am sure some of these will happen sooner or later.

There is no specific order in this list. If you have a personal 'favourite' insensitive remark, feel free to add that.

1. 'You should eat less.' (Haha, very funny. give me my crackers and pretzel sticks back. Now!)
1.1 'You look fat'

2. Nothing thoughtless about miscarriages, there is nothing funny about that and this really hurts a lot.

3. Choice of names: 'Oh I wouldn't call my child that!' (Yeah, thank you. We are going to keep our choice a secret)

4. Asking hubby: 'Is it yours?' (Lol, I really hope it doesn't happen, because this is so rude. And it could actually be taken from a comedy)

5. 'You look awful' (If it came from hubby or my best friend, I could live with that, but otherwise ....)

6. 'Are you expecting twins?' (I mean, it is sort of funny, but I don't want to be asked by someone I barely know)
6.1 'You are huge' (It's all about variety, isn't it?)

7. 'You are feeling tired now? Wait until your baby is there, then you'll know what being tired feels like' (Yes, that's real support, thank you; I think it is the choice of words here, because moms really do know that times will be rough after giving birth and if it is said with good intentions and nice words, it can really show support, too! ... But not the way I wrote it down here)

8. 'I hope it'll be a boy/girl' (You can choose. We don't care, we want our baby alive and kicking, that's what matters)

9. 'Good luck' (see number 2; actually there is a lot of variety to this, I am afraid, but it also depends on the circumstances. Sometimes people don't think, sometimes they really want to be supportive and fail)

10. Apart from people I am close to, I don't want anybody to touch my belly. (Hasn't happened, hopefully doesn't happen, and if so, I want hubby to be around. He is very extremely overly all-encompassing protective these days)

11. 'Are you sure this one is from the same father?' (This is one my older sister had. She is married, too, and her three children are from her husband. I don't know what I'd have done if I had been in that situation)

12. 'Do you really want that?' (This is mean)

13. 'Was it planned?' ...

14. 'You don't have morning sickness? Just wait, it'll happen' (Thank's, that's nice of you)

This could be a faaaaaar longer list. And sometimes it is just the way things are said. Maybe I am too touchy here, too. If some come in the right moment, they can be funny too, sure, but imagine those things from someone who you don't know, who you would not want to share intimate details with. 

Hmm, thinking makes me hungry lately:-) and I can eat in the evening now, too, more or less. But still no pecan turtles in sight. I'll have to make some here soon, yummy.


  1. Oh I can't believe some of those comments, they are horrible!
    I used to get so fed up with the plain old "do you know what it is?" And "when's it due?"
    I thought of getting at shirt which stated 'early November and No'
    Enjoy your pregnancy x

  2. Hi Janey, lol, at the moment I still have patience when someone asks 'when's it due?', but I think I should order one of the shirts, in XXXXL, for later :-) . Most of those comments are very rude and some are only thoughtless. I think it would be great if sometimes people just said that they are happy with us. That would be so nice. Everything is fine with the baby and I am very grateful that it is like that :)

  3. I think people often say things without meaning to offend more-so out of curiosity than anything. When I was pregnant with my first child there was a woman in our church who loved to run up to me each Sunday and
    exclaim, "You're so big! You're huge! Are you sure you aren't having twins???" I hated it. It made me feel like
    a big ugly thing. I came to despise this woman and each Sunday I would dread seeing her. After church I would cry on the way home. Finally one Sunday as she ran up to me I had had enough and I exclaimed to her, "Yes I know I am huge! No I am not having twins!!!" The look on her face made me feel terrible. Suddenly she realized her comments were not welcome. That woman never spoke to me again without a tenseness to her voice. I regretted saying that to her and yet I was also relieved to have her stop saying those things.

    I hope you only hear lovely things from those around you.


  4. I think this woman really behaved rudely, I mean, if it did not happen once or twice, what she did was so thoughtless and mean. For me, the way you reacted, sounded pretty healthy. I have no idea what I would have done in such a moment, apart from crying. If someone like her stopped talking, that would be nice. So far, people have not been rude to me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this happened sooner or later. That’s why I am very glad that those who matter to us, are different. They try to help and they give support and they love us the way we love them.
    Sara, I hope this memory did not bring you down, I wouldn’t want to see you sad because of sharing your thoughts, that would really make me sad and I really hope that you are well.
    But to cheer you up a little, I can give you another full body experience virtual hug.:-) I am thinking of you and really hope you are doing fine and enjoy your day.

    love and hugs


    1. LOL no Nina it didn't bring me down. You are so sweet to be worried. I actually laugh about that experience now
      even though at the time I would have loved to have thrown daggers at that woman! I bet she never said that to a
      pregnant woman again though. I am certain she stopped to think about how her words would be perceived.

      Thank you for the hugs. Hugs are always welcome :)

    2. Sara, thank you that you answered back, because I am pretty relieved to hear all is well. I can imagine what that part with the daggers must have been like and I hope she really stopped and thought about this.

      hugs <---big and cuddly ones :)


  5. Oh yes, pregnancy, and pretty much any other situation in life brings out the insensitivity in people. As "social" as we humans supposedly are, we seem to have a difficult time communicating our good-will in ways that don't offend or confuse. Congratulations and I wish you a happy, healthy baby :)

    1. Hi Autumn, thank you for your congrats, baby and I really appreciate that a lot. What you say about insensitivity in people is absolutely true. If some silly comment is said but with the best intentions and you can feel that it was meant nicely, I can usually live with it. But some people are really insensitive like a log, or even mean, which is horrible.


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