AAAAHHHH!

(Catchy title, isn't it?)

Suddenly I see spankos everywhere. They can be around the next corner.  Some I have just passed. I mean, this is what I like to see in ’Smacking bottom’, blogland. But since I currently absolutely miss spankings, it is a little distracting. I really do miss hubby giving me a spanking. The real ones, which will sting, which are even nasty, but will leave you calm, balanced and feel free afterwards. I still get bedroom-type spankings from hubby. But they are really more like a good massage of my bottom, not harder than that.

Hubby and wife and their addiction

The bedroom-type spankings are not meant to make me cry. They are meant to create the other good feelings, and they do, so this is not a complaint. Well, it is a complaint, but not because I get turned on by hubby. What makes me restless is that they are only the nice ones. Hubby told me that he’d love to spank me hard. He’d love to take his time with it, but this will not happen for a looooooong time. With every day that passes, the length appears longer, if you know what I mean. This really is no complaint in the ordinary way. And it is not directed at hubby either, of course. I think that hubby is in control of me. He decides freely, he chooses how to discipline me non-physically. He knows what is stingy and nasty for me, even without smacking my bottom. Restricted online time is one of those. Therefore, I really am doing a lot to be good. And I enjoy this time. Being good is good. Being pregnant is good. Being not spanked is bad. I feel that with more intensity than I had thought.

Discipline spanking is not erotic. It is. It is not. It is…..

What happens, as a result of me not being disciplined physically, is that my imagination goes on a rampage. :)  Some, no most, is related to sex. Even the idea of physical, nasty type discipline is currently erotic and hot for me. I remember vividly that they are not erotic as they happen, but often enough my thoughts took that direction afterwards, once the pain faded. And I don’t believe that I’d qualify as a masochist either. I am usually not out for pain. Nasty pain is a turn off, though I surely admit that even discipline has a strong erotic notion to it. Currently more than ever.

You want a spanking? Go shopping

So, this morning I went shopping. It was the perfect shopping morning. No traffic, few shoppers and I had much time. Since I have a record with the traffic police, I know a few personally. This is not a joke! They are nice guys, and I am a safe and sensible driver. Have always been, lately. Definitely since January. We met at the supermarket, by chance. I had done nothing. And something already started rising in me. I imagined things between one of the officers and a woman. Not me! No sex! Well, in a way nevertheless something erotic. I went into the supermarket quickly, because it felt as if my ears had already started to change colour and I didn’t want anyone to notice that. Soon all was fine again. I was inside.

So, first stop veggies… Yes, I still do look at the cucumbers, but there are other veggies which I have become aware of with interesting forms, as well. I stood there and was checking my list. You know, I love my lists. Only two steps next to me, there was another woman, around 54, friendly-looking, decent make-up, nice clothes and checking veggies too. She brushed down a few apples. They landed on the floor, but the fault was not hers, there were just too many apples piled up. Nevertheless, she got a bright red face and picked them up. I could only help her with one and then it was over.

Was it? Oh no. She turned and left the veggies department in a little hurry, obviously she felt embarrassed because some attendant had piled up the apples and she had them roll down. Well, I looked at her back and bottom as she was leaving. It was just a glance. She was wearing slacks, all fine and probably more fashionable than some of my comfy clothes I will wear in a few months. 

But I couldn’t stop my imagination flaring up and in that, an attendant came and scolded her. He took her aside and gave her a few swats with his hand. Lol, I am just describing what my inner eye saw in this moment. It was not long, the image only lasted a short moment. I stood there musing. 

It has happened again, later on, back in the car, though this was even shorter, because I just imagined a spanking, only hands, arms, bottom, legs, like a close up. And there was no trigger that I am aware of.

It was sexy, but the woman in the scene was not me, because the man was not hubby. And I didn’t give in to my daily fantasies of hubby and me doing all sorts of things together I won’t do for months. No, they were strangers.

I might regret this

I guess this is simply a part of adjusting to the non-spanking situation. There’s no reason to be worried. But the lack of serious spanking obviously keeps my mind occupied. Maybe it is only another expression of my ever-hungry libido, I don’t know. It will all be fine, as long as my mind doesn’t start putting the wrong people into the spanking-fantasies. That could be really gross. But all in all, with every passing day, I do want a serious spanking more than before.

Can’t wait for it to happen, maybe next Christmas? EsMay is working on a tutorial about spanking implements. Once that is published, I think I’ll try to do them all, produce some of everything and wait well-prepared, floggers and loopies in hands, ready for action, the sooner, the better.

Up to that moment, hubby will have me do more cornertime and be online less and such things. 

And once everything is back to normal, I’ll have more than enough time to maybe regret that I wrote today how much I desire a serious spanking. :)