The girl who can screw things up is at work again

Well, it is the time of the year again, actually just the time of the month, where I am hormonally challenged. I did not care about my physical and emotional reactions much during the last days, because I had thought that all was fine and if it is fine it will stay that way. .... This is naive, I know, blame the hormones.  (<--- my attempt to find something to blame, instead of myself)

I had a bad beginning of the day, without really knowing, I was on the edge, had trouble focussing on my chores, started discussions with Master, but stopped in time, repeatedly. This is not the kind of discussion which is worth mentioning, I am talking about trying to have the final say, without any reason, just for the sake of it. You can probably already see where this is leading ... nowhere, only to the reestablishment of harmony by making a detour across my bottom.

One of my chores this morning was tidying up a section of Master's office, where he had some old books that he no longer needed. I had a big cardboard box to put these in. I should also add that I had already been allowed to postpone tidying up the shelves for the last days, because there were too many other things to do for me. So, this morning, I finally was at it, put many books into the box and that's where the blunder started. I just put the box into the hall, actually into the only spot where it was not meant to be, because I chose the narrowest spot possible. I am an expert on doing these things, by the way, and in the past I have -by accident !!!- sent Master flying through different parts of the house because he tripped over things that I had simply forgotten somewhere on the floor. I can do that anytime, any place. It is not connected to hormones. ... Hmmm, maybe this explains why he is so touchy when it comes to free and safe routes through the house.

So, the box was in the hall, where it was not supposed to be. I went into the kitchen, prepared lunch and the box was still in the hall. We had lunch, and afterwards Master told me to bring the box to another place, where it is not in the path. Instead of just doing it, I started discussing again and this time did not stop. On the contrary, I tried to wriggle out of the problem by saying I'd do it later.
Let it sink in, let it sink in.
Yes, you got it!  Ooops, wrong word, wrong time, not good. If you are a slavegirl and have no real reason not to do as told, you better get started, when your owner tells you something. Master scolded me immediately, reminded me of safety rules at home, which we had created because of negative past experiences (i.e. me putting things in the way, him tripping, flying, hurt, ouch, me lectured, bottom spanked, ouch).

Since he had already been lenient with me today, I knew that my good-girl-bonus was already all gone. My only luck for the moment was that he had to leave the house immediately after lunch. Therefore, while I am writing, I can still sit well, and enjoy the experience of uninhibited sitting. Let me tell you that, if your Master can tell you to sit on the floor whenever he wants to, sitting is a privilege too. Since I have this privilege I am grateful for it, and my major concern is about tonight, when Master will be back and he is going to discuss the issue of my obedience and me installing tripping hazards inside the house with my bum. I know that I am really in for it and I feel already quite bad about this whole affair. I am going to apologize again, wholeheartedly, because I feel and know that I blundered here, but the prospect of being punished tonight makes me pretty nervous this time. This is the kind of anticipation I cannot stand well, I hate this long time of waiting just as much as the upcoming punishment itself. Because this has been an issue that we had to deal with repeatedly, I do not expect Master to be nice at all, rather I think that he is really going to teach me a lesson.

Writing is therapy --> My thoughts about the incident are clear by now, but my mood has already changed from the feeling in the back, that I am in trouble, to something like 'OMG why did I do that'. This is where I am starting to feel like a complete nervous wreck. I am going to add the outcome in another post.

Maybe I should write another list, e.g. 25 ways of sending your Master/dominant partner/hubby through the air without wings. I could probably come up with more than 25 ways. Water is the secret! I feel so bad right now.