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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The dominant in a scene and why Paris of Troy is a wimp

This is a follow up on 'When is a scene good' (December 2013) and I'll try hard to focus on what I feel is important for the dominant partner to do or maybe not to do. The difficulty for me in describing this is that I can not describe scenes from what I saw, because in the majority of scenes that we do, I am blindfolded and bound. Sensory deprivation is a powerful tool that my owner uses on me. We have also had scenes where my hearing was blocked almost completely.
Maybe I should write another article later, about sensory deprivation. Back to topic. I can most often only feel the sensations as they happen and blindfolded there is only one voice  that can direct me, and  that's my Master's. What I feel in these moments is that I am somehow drifting, still, I do not feel like something bad is going to happen as a result of that. There is this voice, sometimes even telling me that all is fine. Giving orders, sometimes strict, sometimes less so, at other times teasing me, in combination with physical sensations. I never know how long this takes, because once the blindfold is on, I completely lose track of time. There are moments where I have to answer questions, there are also moments when I am slightly reprimanded, e.g. if I am almost completely absent mentally (Haha, don't say what you think now) and can barely talk because I am too aroused to think at all. This is when I might even forget to say Sir or Master,  though it is mandatory during a scene. There is not much more than moaning from my side at a certain point of the scene.
Why is this possible? Of, course, sexual stimulation. Boring answer, and not the complete truth anyway. It is because I submit, he can do all he wants. Master could hurt me, I would submit, yes, sure, that is sexy and arousing. The idea of him doing all he wants and me being at his mercy, is a great turn on, sure, but there is even more.
What counts most during the scene is that I know Master is serious with what he does. Maybe I should say it is his attitude? He is not faking anything of what's going on, not only during a scene, also at any other given time. His attitude and confidence show me that this situation is real. I submit to someone who is completely in control, someone who has the ability to have his way with me, and someone who is more than willing to do to me whatever he likes.

I could not imagine that a scene would be a turn on for me if it was with somebody who was a wimp like Paris in the movie Troy (2004). I hated the movie, but Brad Pitt looked fantastic in it, especially when he was naked. But would anybody seriously believe a single word, if Paris, the epitome of a women whisperer, would tell you 'kneel and lick my sandals', and then he runs away from a huge brute who makes Paris look like one of Snowwhite's dwarves ? That's not a recommendation for being a good protector.

Hubby objects a bit, because he is a fan of the movie, and he says that Paris the wimp was clever enough to choose a better time for a fight. Maybe I misunderstood the movie.

Or imagine your dominant partner had the high-pitched voice of Michael Jackson. It would ruin my scene, but make my day from a comedian's point of view. I mean seriously, could you do anything but laughing, if someone told you 'I am gonna whack the guts out of you' with that voice? This is not meant to ridicule Michael Jackson, but this voice in a scene just would not work for me. I think I would need the chains or rope I am kept in then to prevent injuries from falling down because of laughter. I am obviously not only hormone-driven but also voice-driven.

At the heart of the matter is therefore, I could not let myself fall into the session, if I believed it was all staged, not real, that the Master is not true. If he wants me to be scared he has to be able to do so for real. It is easy to make me submit, because I can't do much else but follow my heart there. But I don't want to have the wrong feeling connected to that. I need someone who has presence in the room, who is able to control me genuinely. This should always be the case, but in a session it is important, if it is meant to work for me. Somewhere in the back I'd always know I am perfectly safe and secure, but still, his demands have to be real and he has to be able to get the badass  out, if it takes that in a session. 

With this text I have more or less focused on the importance of the attitude and presence of a dominant partner, though I know that there is more. I have already addressed some other points in past texts, but will probably delve deeper this year.



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