If I could only keep my big mouth shut

... at least sometimes. It all started with good intentions. I wanted to tidy up the office and so I did. Not without rearranging some of the books and items that hubby needs every day. I put some of that into a lower shelf than where it used to be.
 This is where the trouble began. Tidying up is one of my chores, I keep everything in the house neat and clean, so there was no problem from that side, I thought. Well, this does not exactly include rearranging things that are needed and have to be at hand immediately. I simply did not think about it.
Actually, my first thoughts were that hubby/Master would like it, because everything was so neat
.
Later, when hubby came home, I told him that I had tidied up the office. He liked the idea, of course, but did not know yet what I meant with that. As I was to find out soon, our ideas on tidying up the office were different ones this day. First, at dinner, all was fine. Afterwards, while I went to the kitchen, hubby entered the office. It only took about ten seconds before he called me. I went there immediately, still thinking I had done a good job.
Hubby stood in front of the shelves and looked up and down to see where his things were. Ok, not exactly the kind of reaction I had hoped for, in the first place. Hubby was not angry or annoyed. I explained what I had done and hoped to get the recognition I thought I deserved. Instead he told me to put the things of his back to the place I had taken them from.
Now it turned into a critical moment. I could have asked why and could have tried to understand the reasons for hubby's rejection. Indeed I did ask 'why'? But, as is a bad habit of mine, I was not inclined to listen and think. Hubby's main reasons were two, which I can understand fully now, after a good night.

First, I had not asked about putting his things in his office elsewhere. Ok, I could understand that, but I did not want to accept that. Bad girl.

Second, hubby is almost one head taller than I. His things were close to the bottom of the shelves now. I could still reach them, but since he is one head taller than I, it was a problem for him.
Yep, size matters :) 

And then I started arguing ....  . Sometimes, when I look back, I feel so bad and I am embarrassed about myself because of my silly reactions. I felt criticised, did not want to admit that the mistake was all mine and I could have put everything back without a fuss. Hubby had acknowledged my good intentions and tried to keep the whole situation out of the critical zone, by being relaxed, by giving me (admittedly, valid) reasons to do as he had said and I kept talking back, did not listen, was agitated.
Hubby even warned me to stop arguing before it would be too late and I just did  not. Somehow I could not stop and felt unable to listen. I still have no real idea why it went this way from my side, because the whole incident was only a minor one, but I turned it into something far bigger than it deserved to be and all I can say is that I felt disappointed and a bit hurt at that time. Hubby had seen parts of that coming, I think, because I had turned from someone who wanted to be praised for a good job into someone completely upset. I felt like losing ground in that moment, and it hit me unexpectedly.

Once my first fit was over, I could already see and accept that I had blundered. Not with my actions in the office, but with my reactions even after hubby had shown so much understanding which was brought forward with all patience and good-will that you could wish for.

The result of it all was a sound spanking and I accepted that gladly because it felt more than right once I could think clearly again. When the spanking started, it only took a short time until I cried and that felt like I could let out a huge burden. The whole situation had created so much frustration inside me that I had not had any way of letting it go in time. Then I would not have been spanked at all. Instead, I got a moderate spanking only, but that was more than enough for me.
It was less about punishing me, though that was part of it. It was more for giving me the chance to let go and recover from a situation I had taken so badly. Afterwards, hubby spared me from cornertime, instead he took me to bed, where we spent some time together, -talking- and hugging, before I finally fell asleep, happy, relaxed, feeling loved and cared for and dead tired.