Spectacular blunder – a punishment well-deserved

Last night I was in for it again. Master came home late and I had been doing Christmas decoration in the house and there were a few bits left which I wanted to finish, urgently. That was why my tunnel vision set in. I wasn’t able to listen to him. He gave me a set time and all I had to do was stop decorating in due time. But I simply couldn’t stop myself. I wanted this to be done because I am late with my last preparations for Christmas. … I could go on with reasons why this was urgent business for ever, because they are all dummy arguments, no valid reasons at all. I know that I could have stopped. All would have been good then. 

Instead, I passed the set time and Master reprimanded me for that, which was still a minor incident compared to what was to come. Well, then the bad girl, the brat came out and I started discussing this, because I felt treated unfairly, in a way, because I couldn't do as I wanted. The way I acted then, was what lets me feel ashamed, because I was completely thoughtless and I know now that I could have hurt Master emotionally, if he had not stopped me and if he had not stayed on top of last night’s events. He explained it all, repeatedly, because I was just dumb last night and unable to listen, simply out of reach. 

All I can say is, that I never meant to cause harm and especially not to hurt Master. He told me that I did not, but that it would not have been far away from that. I am glad that he had stopped me. At that time I really was not able to understand what was going on and how bad I had behaved.

Now, with a very sore and glowing bottom from last night, I understand quite well that it is not unfair to get a deadline, a warning to stop in due time. It was given in time and I could have stopped easily.

Master had obviously seen that I was not completely by myself when this affair started and he spent a lot of time with me, making sure that I would understand what was going on in me. We talked for over an hour before the message had reached me, before I had finally understood that the transgression of my time limit was minor in this moment and the bratty ways of mine and the useless discussion that I had started afterwards were the real issues here. Our talking would not save me from my punishment, though and he made that clear from the beginning.

The caning was severe and I hated every moment of it. But it was easy for me to accept this because finally I had completely understood why I got it. I was already wrecked and felt very sorry before the cane touched my bottom the first time and it did not take more than a few before I could let go all anger and frustration that I had collected up to that point. I am very grateful that I got this caning, because it was a real eye-opener for me last night and it helped. I was crying a lot last night, before the punishment, during and even afterwards, but it all helped me so much. 

Once understanding set in again, I apologized whole-heartedly for what I had done and I am very much at peace again right now, as I sit and write. I am also very grateful that Master took his time with me, after he had had a long and hard day at work. Even though it was late at night after the punishment was over, we still spent time together, no sex, that would have felt wrong for me then, just hugging and talking. Master made sure that I felt well again and was not left behind, feeling isolated. As part of a punishment, especially with a slavegirl, it would have been all within his decision, to let me sleep disregarded or even elsewhere, instead of in his bed. But I am very glad that he did not do such a thing, because that would have saddened me even more than the whole incident had done anyways. This is where he showed even stronger how much he cares and loves me. I really felt bad once I had understood that I had let Master down and I would have understood any course of action that he could have taken, but once understanding had set in from my side, I felt even more vulnerable and a punishment connected to letting me feel isolated would have been a serious blow to my emotional balance. I know that I have the best Master possible :) 

The situation this morning is a complete difference to last night. We are both relaxed, last evening I was not. I feel at peace with myself again, but my bottom still hurts when I wriggle around on my chair. I shouldn’t do that too often, still, I welcome every moment I feel my bottom hurt because it reminds me of last night and that I got corrected in time. As a result, although the weather is grey and dull, I think it will be a great day because all is settled. Thank you for last night, I really had needed that. Thank you Sir :)