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Monday, December 9, 2013

Master's pain production inc.and sub's scaredy-cat unlimited

I have stated in another text about good and bad pain that I am not a pain slut, but there are ways which help me to eroticize pain and absorb it slowly until I can orgasm from it. That's the nice pain, built up slowly. The other pain, the nasty one, happens far less often in this household than the good one. I am glad about that, because the nasty pain is for punishment, it is unwanted.
Last night we, i.e. Master and me, discussed pain while we were in bed, application examples included ... . One of those examples was done with two different crops, a very soft one and a stingy one. Well, we tried both, Master used them on me, while we talked, but since this was not punishment, he warned me, was not too severe and allowed me to do the same with the crops on him, so that I could learn from the example. What a chance, ha, but I am obviously not able to do that. I am perfectly able to use a riding crop on a horse, but I also know that it does not hurt then, but I could not do it on a human being's naked skin. I failed completely in hitting just once with a little force. And it felt bad for me to do so even this one time.
Actually this showed to me that you have to have a certain mental disposition to beat somebody. Master agreed with that, though he refuted my thesis that it is connected to male hormones, because there are also many dominant women who are perfectly able to chastise their slaves physically and with a lot of pleasure, too. Ok, so is it all about the dominants' traits again, where dominants are able to eroticize the activity of spanking/beating, as part of the process of controlling your sub? Or is it different, because it is about punishing subs? Then there would be no erotic quality for the dominants either? Is it just because the usual reason for a real punishment is e.g. to correct unwanted behaviour? Is the attitude that dominant partners have then like 'It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it?' <-- Quote from Master, he shrugged it off a bit at first, because for him a punishment is something natural that has to be done, so he is there for the job (former military, need I say more!?). He told me that he doesn't enjoy inflicting pain (the bad one), because he is not a sadist, though punishment is an integral part of what we both want to have in our relationship and he feels well, without any qualms, if discipline and punishment have to be administered. So, he does not get his satisfaction out of this part of us being together. But he enjoys it immensely to deal out positive pain and to send me to heaven with that, whenever he wants to, just like he enjoys being served and being obeyed endlessly.
Nevertheless, I have a problem with raising the crop, even with permission and invitation, whereas he could start immediately and whack my bottom endlessly, if he feels it is necessary and he could do it all over again, without second thoughts if needed: 'There's plenty more where this came from'. I mean, I am glad that he has no problems with that, because it is important that we have punishments as a means to solve problems, but since I would have a problem with  dealing out punishments, there must be a fundamental difference in how our minds work when it comes to dealing out pain.
Maybe it is part of how you were brought up? In Master's family they used corporal punishment, and he said it was the right thing to do, and not abusive at all. His family is lovely, all of them are, and none of his family is aggressive in any form and you can see immediately that Master's parents love him. In my family there was no corporal punishment, none of my parents would do that. Actually, I still don't know how they survived us kids at times, and my parents loved us endlessly too, even after we did stupid things. But I don't believe that as a consequence, people who are brought up with corporal punishment, are prone to becoming dominant and can administer pain easily or those who are brought up without are prone to being submissive and cannot do that.
So, what could it be? I am at a loss.

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