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Friday, December 13, 2013

Feeling guilty, forgiveness and therapeutic spanking

Are you able to forgive yourself? Sometimes it proves easier to forgive somebody else than to forgive yourself. Recently there was an incident, where I became a little jealous because a friend of ours was the centre of attention for a long while, which should have been all ok, but it was not for me in that moment. I felt jealous, not for long, before my thinking set in again and I no longer felt that way, but it left me with a guilty conscience. Actually I can feel guilty about all kinds of silly things, whether it is the way I behave sometimes, that I don’t spend enough time with some of my friends, or that I don’t spend enough time with Master if I spend time with my friends, that the garden did not look its best last Wednesday, that lunch for Master was good but not best … you name it, I might feel guilty about it and develop a guilty conscience which troubles me for a long time. 
I know that things like that can happen, but even long after the incident is over and forgotten, the bad conscience might still be there. Nobody might have noticed that something was not at its best. Everybody else probably thought that all was ok. If there was something going on, friends and Master might have said it is ok long ago. Everybody else can forgive what you did, but can you forgive yourself? Often I can’t. It is there, a lingering thought, keeping the guilty conscience awake.
This is a moment where I would either ask for a therapeutic spanking or where my Master would administer one, if he saw that I was troubled. It would not be a punishment, it would not be meant to hurt as much as punishment, but it would be enough to make me cry so that I could let go whatever holds my thoughts captive.
Whether you call them maintenance or therapeutic spanking does not really matter, but they are a good way for us to balance me emotionally. We don’t do them on a regular basis, but sometimes there are just small moments which make me edgy. They are only minor things, nothing we would directly connect to a punishment, but if these little things are not addressed in time, they could easily add up and be the beginning of some major incident where I lose my way completely, emotionally speaking.

Since they are less severe than punishments and since I have learned to see the good they cause, I have learned to cherish therapeutic spankings a lot. Master varies the spanking according to the situation, because sometimes it is already enough to spank lightly before I can let it all out, whereas at other times it might take far more. Still, it always is less than being punished, so that I never establish the connection between these two. If you get a few, can let go and afterwards talk about what was going on, the feeling of relief that I get from it, is enormous. Sometimes I can only tell what might have been boiling inside me after the spanking, because I suddenly realize what was going on. If you have ever had a moment when you were fidgety, were close to going ballistic, did not know how to calm down and never found out why, therapeutic spankings might help. And don't forget aftercare, please :)

1 comment :

  1. Hi Ni Na,

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    We're a sex and relationship advice website and after reading through your blog, I thought you'd be suited to writing something like "BDSM After the Spanking" or "More to Being a Dom Than Just Spanking" detailing what a dom does after a spanking.

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    p.s. Please feel free to delete this non-comment.


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