I can still break rules

... and I claim foggy brain as my only real excuse, I think. Last night was noteworthy. I was alone at home with baby. The two of us had a pleasant evening with some music and reading, but I went to bed early (9.30pm). Considering that I still have trouble sleeping this is very exemplary from my side. :-) 

The night before, when baby moved and I recognized this the first time, I slept well, once the excitement had settled a little. But this night was as many before. I had tea and was relaxed and very willing to sleep. And simply couldn't. I tried hard and was relaxed and thought I'd doze off while waiting for baby to dance again. She did that for a few minutes and I loved it. But I was no closer to sleeping than before. I should add that at this time there had been thunder and lightning and heavy rain. This was really impressive, the lightning went on and on, just like the rain. Did I also mention that it was rather warm in the house from a very warm day? Well, I couldn't sleep, was a bit uneasy, and one major reason was that it was too warm to sleep. 

So I did the only thing I could. I went up again, tried some more tea and had no real idea of what to do. I think it was about 2 pm at night and I felt sweaty and the climate was as if I was in a jungle. And it was raining again. So I decided to go out into the rain - and loved it. I got completely soaked and it felt as if I was taking a shower. In a way, I was. It felt fantastic and after maybe half an hour outside I went in again. I felt refreshed and more tired than before. I locked the door (!) and went to bed. But I didn't tell you that I had opened some of the windows downstairs, but only towards the garden. I did not close them, they were wide open throughout the night. Actually I had not thought at all about them. Forgotten. 

When I came down in the morning, I almost got a shock from seeing that two windows were still wide open. I felt fantastic last night, in and after the rain, but in the morning, when I felt more alone and all was quiet, it was pretty scary. I went all through the house, to make sure there was no intruder. The good news about this is, that I found an old cake pan in the shape of a sheep (no joke) .... And I felt like a sheep too.  Of course, there was no burglar, nobody had entered and I closed the windows again and no harm was done. 

But...

...  I do claim a serious case of foggy brain? Just wanted to make that clear.

... I am not allowed out at night, alone. Safety issues.

... I am not allowed to leave doors or windows unlocked. Same reason.

... when I open them, I have to close and lock them again. See above.

So, usually I would have hubby in the house and actually I would feel safe with him around, even if we slept in the middle of a pitch. Last night I felt safe, too, I think. I sort of did not think at all, to be honest. Bah, I don't want to whitewash anything, either. I am angry about my stupidity. And I am willing to accept all that hubby decides.

Still, I don't want to ruin Monday morning, when hubby will come back early. I want hubby to be happy when he comes back and the last thing is to start our reunion with something like 'Oh, by the way, I left two windows wide open on the ground floor, so that any murderers, burglars, and whoever, could come in while you were not there, and so that everybody was invited to take advantage of the situation. Some more tea, dear?'

I know two things for sure: 

1. The Queen is not amused.

2. He will be worried because of what might have happened to baby and I. At the same time hubby will be a little cross because hubby considers leaving doors and windows open at night a safety risk.

2.1 Honey, I love you !

To sum it all up:

I claim sort of guilty and not guilty, your Excellency.

And the display of lightning that night was marvelous.

I have thought about writing an email, because hubby checks these every day. But I don't want to distract him while he is working.

This will give me another sleepless night, because I'll have to decide quickly what would be the best way to deal with this.