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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Sara's little boxes, Sherlock Holmes and my 2 cents

Oh no, another one of those dreaded lists. :) Actually the reason behind writing this down is based on Sara's very poetic 'tidy little box' - entry  and on the pictures she used there. There were different boxes, a neat one, some looking quite used and ragged and there was even one with cats in it. Some of you maybe remember that. So, I imagine that an old and ragged looking box has had a long journey, just like everybody hopefully has a long journey through life and will probably look a bit ragged and wrinkled. I still love the idea that Sara created with it.

I am sorry that I cannot give you the link, since Sara's blog is not there any longer. Well, obviously, this list has been in the making for a few days. I had almost forgotten about this but thought I'd rather finish it, instead of deleting the text.

Instead of musing about the reasons what kind of journey an old box has had through life, I'll try to give some ideas that we try to follow here, so  that we might earn our wrinkles and maybe look ragged when old, but are not torn apart like an old cardboard box.

These are some basics that we always thought were useful to adhere to. I don't say that anybody should follow them, but they have helped hubby and me.

1. One of the most important things is, be able to laugh about yourself. I mean, look at what you really do. How you react, roll your eyes, stomp your feet, say silly things though you mean them half way serious when they are said  and everything else. I am so sure that there is something funny now and then. When hubby and I talk about what has happened during the day, he sometimes makes me aware of such things, just as I do that with him.

2. Don't take everything too seriously. There has to be enough room for laughter. When we are with others, we want it to be enjoyable, a positive and friendly time. Teasing in a friendly way should have its place there, too.

3. Listen to your friends. ...if they are well-meaning friends, that is. This has been very important for me. They know more about what people are like than I'll probably ever learn.

4. Support your friends !!!!! Don't leave them alone when they need you most. Don't turn away just because of different opinions.

5. Listen to the sorrows that others have. Help them if you can, but don't get lost while you try to help. If you end up in  trouble as a result of helping others, something went wrong. Get support in time.

6. Make a positive difference in the life of someone else. This could be being a good friend or being a good parent. It could also be something completely different, like giving hope to someone in the right moment or giving a blanket to someone without a home, when it is cold outside. I guess the opportunities are endless. I like this idea a lot, because in a way it includes that maybe someone else, who you do not even really know, thinks about you and smiles out of joy. 

7. Keep your life simple. Haha, we are definitely talking from experience here, because hubby and I had complicated episodes in our lives. I mean, even now, it is complicated at times, but we try to spend time with friends and with each other, we do sports, but we are not trying to complicate matters by planning every minute away. We have limited time and try to make something out of it, but without creating stress. Try to achieve peace of mind, instead, and I think this does not work if you are over and over busy doing all sorts of things. I believe this is a simple recipe for a better life, but from our experience it is one of the most difficult things to achieve in a time where most jobs demand too much and many people have expectations that are simply too high.

8. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, but try to learn from them, too. I don't know if I am good at the learning part, but I have never been afraid to try things. Since I have this life only, I want to do things, I want to learn and am bound to fail now and then. My recommendation about that is: if you fail don't worry, especially don't worry about things you cannot change, but try again, try differently, and don't give up. It's your life and learning from mistakes makes you stronger.

9. Accept difference. This applies to different opinions, different lifestyles, clothes, whatever you see. I think that this one is often followed by people in blogland, especially those from Smacking Bottom. They don't judge people and they accept someone else's peculiarities easily. I am very grateful that there are so many different people, with different ideas and imagine how boring life would be, if all were the same. Therefore, I am grateful that life is colourful, because people are like that.

10. Learn to forgive. I think this is not always easy, because it does involve a lot of hurt feelings. Try to overcome that. Nevertheless, it is worth it. I think that forgiving creates a lot of peace. And I don't mean forgiving immediately. It may take a little time, but work on it. For me this is connected to getting rid of problems and troubles and that is a feel-good guarantee.

11. Don't forget to be humane. Don't be too hard on yourself because of making mistakes, and be lenient with others at times. I don't believe that it is necessary to smash anybody to pieces who makes a mistake. Instead, try to show sympathy and support. This will make a real difference.

There are definitely reasons why people are not open towards each other, and I understand that. But even then, there should be room to show that you care, or just be a little friendly. Most people need that and most also deserve that, until they prove the opposite, that is.Therefore, don't be a robot, because they don't have the emotional qualities of human beings.

I think that most of the people out there try hard to live a decent life, and still, often enough I see that they are not happy. I don't mean that they are only unhappy in one moment, but some have this attitude of unhappiness, there is almost nothing that could please them, and if, then it is the failure of someone else. 
That's horrible, because I don't believe that anybody's pleasure should be connected to the failures of other people. Naive as I am, I believe that people could live together in a certain balance and if all were willing, they could live in harmony. Maybe I should know better, but I don't give up my hopes, because some others have. I have no advice that I could give, but the above points are pretty important for us and some have helped us a lot in the past. 

The philosophical part starts here:

 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip.
In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes."
"And what do you infer from these stars?"
"Well, a number of things," he says, lighting his pipe:
Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear.
Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant.
What about you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you fool. Someone has stolen our tent!"


  1. Great post Nina, wonderful list and I love the Sherlock Holmes story!


  2. Thank you, I think sometimes laughing about ouselves is a wonderful way out of problems, and since I have the best friends in the world, like everybody else who has the best friends in the world :-), I have learned that they are special and I want them to know how much I love them, too. And I couldn't resist the Sherlock joke. I think it is because of Martin Freeman, the Dr. Watson in Sherlock. I love him, he's cute, handsome and shows how much he cares about Sherlock. So, everything about Sherlock Holmes is actually about Dr.Watson/Martin Freeman for me.
    Happy Easter :)




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