silly google+

google + has reduced my latest blog entries into the form of keywords.

Mine 

are 

#chocolate and #hormones 

They reduced me to that !


I hate that on the one hand, but on the other hand, I had a good laugh about it too. And afterwards I was sulking again. Oh my, it’s the hormones, where is my chocolate?


I know that Master is going to tease me with that. Maybe I should use more exciting words like sex, crime, love or fun more often. Especially because I used the word schizophrenic in my last post and don't want to be reduced to that one!


This is for the google+ keyword list: sex sex sex, crime, crime, crime, love, love, love, love, fun, fun, fun.
Ha, gotcha google+




Edit: 25th February 2014 I still have no idea when or why or according to what criteria my blog entries are keyworded by google+

The use of titles and names between Master and me

Most of the time I just say Master or Sir to my husband when we are alone. But there are also rare moments, when both of us feel as close as possible, when Master does not want to be called that, instead I use his first name then. This does not happen too often, and it is very special. There has been one time in bed, in an already very intimate moment, when we felt like that and he literally offered me to say his name, instead of any titles or nothing at all. For me that is a privilege, because I connect that with deepest love and trust and Master does not grant me that thoughtlessly. Maybe I make you laugh or sigh or just shake your head, but he left me in awe for a short time and he really positively shook me to the core. These moments are something that we always look out for.

Concerning titles, I sometimes differentiate between Master and hubby/husband when I write my blog here. Sometimes it just happens more or less by accident, because we are married, though we also live as Master and slave. Sometimes I do it intentionally, to show which role of my Master I actually refer to in that moment. The other roles are there too, don’t worry, but sometimes it just feels right to use a certain title or name and not the other. And it is in my blog, which is mine only, where I can write freely, as long as I don’t insult anybody or use foul language and things like that. Not that I have any intention of doing so, but if there is something that I could do wrong, I usually manage to do so, sooner or later. Hubby nods behind me, because he knows what I mean. I have once called the husband, not the Master, Chauvi, during a hot tempered discussion about women’s rights … which qualified as foul language and disrespect. And here I mean I called hubby that, because I would not have dared to call the Master in him by such a name. … Oh my god, I sound so schizophrenic now.  … But the other voices in me say I am not … Sorry, I could not resist, but I really don’t want to be rude. So if there is anybody with such a problem I apologize and if it hurt anybody I am seriously willing to delete the last lines.

What nice topics have you talked to your partner about during the weekend?

relationship

how to help each other / comfort each other in emotional crisis'

why we like what we do and who we are

sweet memories

review of past weeks' events

obedience → it is a really important anchor for me; thumbs up

discipline s.a.

favourite food (real food, not chocolate this time)

restaurant

10 favourite ways of teasing him

10 favourite ways of torturing me

sex (I am still waiting…)

massages

babies (we are late, but working on it)

single friends

friends with babies (all married)

hair styles (his: short cut; mine: slightly curled at the moment, no curls again soon)

clothes/fashion

to do's for the next week (chores are ok or even nice, but sewing is fantastic!!! This time it is really easy, it is a Viking maid’s outfit for one of my little nieces)

shoes (no joke!)

sports (this time it was only about jogging through the fields, preferably at daytime)

blogs

The Voice

painting pictures

drawing pictures

this could be an endless list, though these above are the ones that were best

Wife and Hubby in a car - basic behaviour

 As I sit here on Saturday morning to think about what happened during the week, I eat apple slices, because they are better for me than chocolate (see below, my chocolate and hormones rambling explains that) and I smile, finally. I am still not feeling too well, but all is better than it was earlier this week. And I have several good reasons to smile (but still no climax).

1st Master gave me a sort of spanking, because I had asked, no begged, for it. He was gentle and though I was on his lap and could not see him, while I presented my bottom, he talked with me and made sure that the spanking was only for me to make me feel better. Thank you Sir, it really worked.

2nd I can still sit well, which feels good. If you have never had the experience to enjoy sitting,  try different uncomfortable ways and then do it the most comfy way possible. No calories at all, and it is for free!

3rd We went out last night ... by car.

The important bit here is, that it was by car, the lovely bit was that we went to a restaurant. After a turbulent week where all ups came from Master and all downs from me, this was meant to be a real treat for the both of us, and I loved every moment of it. So did Master. I add that, because I still have a bad conscience because of some behaviour issues I had during this week and he definitely deserved a nice night out, far more than I did! Anyways, off we went, nicely dressed, I even knew where we would go, which is not always the case. Sometimes he just tells me what to wear and then he takes me to some lovely place.We both love it that way, surprises are great.

Well, after a while in the car, I started commenting  'you are too...' and he only shot a single slightly annoyed glance into my direction. I stopped immediately and never said another word about how he should drive or not. This is one of the rules I'd rather follow in complete silence. No comments or nagging during the ride, or else.... . Usually I would not even have started commenting, because I know that rule well and if I don't like what I see, I can close my eyes and wait until we have reached our destination. You can imagine how difficult it is to keep your eyes closed, if you don't want to sleep, so I just remain quiet and look elsewhere.

Just to think about the situation makes me laugh, because whenever there was anything wrong concerning the car, driving, parking in a no-parking zone, being too fast or things like that, it was absolutely always me. Not him, ONLY me. He has never ever had to pay anything because he did any of these things. But Master is generous and pays for what I do. Well, he has to, because he earns the money for the both of us. I pay afterwards, at home, usually with a verrrry sore and red bottom. See 2nd, above about the advantages of good sitting ... and there is no connection to driving well and hormones. I mean, when I drive like a slob, I do it all the time, not only one week a month.

W.B. Yeats Lake Isle of Innisfree - give it a chance

Lake Isle of Innisfree

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,
And live alone in the bee loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.
                     - W.B. Yeats





It is not my own writing, but one of my absolute favourite poems ever. I love the peaceful setting and the feeling of harmony it creates.

Give me sex - no wait, chocolate, no sex, I don't know anymore, I am all lost atm

If you have read my last entry, you know what I felt like then. This is about one hundred gazillions worse than ever. Master has not granted me anything that could give me some release, though I really have to admit that it is my own fault by now. Right in the middle of Master's game of tease and denial my monthly need for chocolate, additional hugging, sex, if possible and all the other things, set in. I am emotionally out of balance at the moment, which is just the result of my silly hormones, and I am still extremely frustrated, because Master would not touch me sexually this week, because I misbehaved. Taking cold showers does not help at all against sexual desires, it is only good to get a nice and healthy skin! And to add to that, during my period I don't like cold water at all. So, whatever is going to happen this week, I have this feeling that not much is going to be good about it.
I was out of focus and started being a brat and behaved the way I should not. Pouting was the nicest bit of it, but because Master likes my mouth a lot and because he knows what's working in me these days, it was not part of the real problem (trying to avoid following rules, starting arguments without reason, doing chores badly, not doing chores, because I forgot about them and grouching among other things). I did not use swear words, though I felt like it, but I feel bad, because I really know that I was bratty, at least yesterday and Monday. Today I am all sorry, and Master knows that. He is around to spend time with me, which is lovely, so I get a lot of hugs, we talk a lot, he openly shows a lot of love and affection towards me.  Actually, I am so glad about this that I could cry, but on the other hand I also have a really bad conscience, because I was such a brat. My behaviour was not directed against him, it was against anybody and anything and against myself. There will be no punishment for me at all at the moment, apart from me still remaining sexually frustrated, because he won't give me a climax this week. He told me that is more than enough to bear for me this week and all will be good again, if I try hard to behave my best. Jogging did not help much against my frustration and bad conscience, and the dark grey weather outside just made me feel depressive (don't worry, I am not). Chocolate is good, but even though I love it, I stop eating after a few minutes, because I feel fat then. I am not fat, just vain, but whatever I do, does not help much. I am not sure whether I would get a spanking, if I asked for one, but I am close to asking for it, so that I could have a true ventile for my frustration, because that is still lingering in me and I hate that feeling. Well, I don't know yet what to do, but at least I have apologized and I really regret that I misbehaved. Still, this mix of being horny and frustrated from it, and at the same time, not being able to calm down because of the hormones is a horrible mix for me, hard to endure, and surely hard to endure for my Master as well. Where is my chocolate? Afterwards I could go jogging again. Oh, it is dark outside, so I would not be allowed to leave the house alone, no sexual activity in sight, well, I might give the cold and hot water another try before I definitely will ask for a therapeutic spanking from Master, otherwise I am never gonna sleep for the rest of this week.

Sorry for my rambling

being taught a lesson in humility

Last weekend Master has very clearly reminded me that I am his slavegirl. As if I needed a reminder for that. We both know that I am all his, and we both like it that way. It was during one of our evenings (Friday night)  when we did a lot of talking, and everything was quite relaxed for the two of us. Nevertheless, I had had this idea that he was up to something, though I could not at all say what was different. Then, he changed the topic, first we talked about likes and dislikes during recent nights of love and during sessions, which is a nice topic for us, because usually it ends with us having some lovely dirty kind of sex again. If the topic is like that, it feels like you stand in front of a chocolate shop and see all the nice things and later, you go in and buy a surprise bag full of chocolate goodies. Yumm Yumm.
Well, this time, Master had different ideas. After  some time, when we talked about our relationship, I got told by my earnest looking Master that I am all his, including my breasts and my vagina, of course, and also the right to have an orgasm, among other things. That's nothing new for me, because it has been like that  for years by now and I have been tried on that in the past repeatedly. And that was exactly Master's idea for me. We lay on the bed, a very big and comfy one, which is our favourite place to spend time talking and do other things. He started teasing me, touching, caressing, fondling, later on he used me, so that I came closer and closer to my own orgasm, if I were allowed to have that, I mean. You can guess, what he did. I got teased by him over and over again and I begged to be released and of course he did not do so. It was ok for one night, because I thought, this was only from Friday to Saturday, but no, Saturday to Sunday was the same. I got teased and brought close to orgasm, several times. I love it when I am just used sexually, because it still feels good to me, but it is different, if your owner actively does everything to raise your expectations, brings you closer and closer and then doesn't finish what he started, on purpose. It is as if you stand in the chocolate shop and have found the best chocolate goody ever and then you realise you forgot your money at home and the shop is going to close for the weekend. A catastrophy! It went on like this for the whole week! As a result, Master has created an extremely frustrated and over-horny slavegirl who is bitchy and close to exploding, just from mentioning anything about release, being set free, or any other kind of sexual innuendo.  You should see his face, as he observes me now and then. He looks as if he had done nothing at all, but whenever he touches me, by accident (haha), and in arousing places, he has this devillish look sparkling in his eyes. By the way, at the moment, virtually any spot on me has turned into an erogenous zone. So any time I am touched by him, I stop moving completely, to breathe away the sensual experience, because otherwise I really would lose control. Master  would  not allow me to come, not yet, that is. But he is very pleased with himself, because he knows that I have already passed a point where I would do anything for him, just to be allowed one single orgasm.
I don't know how long he is going to continue his game with me, but I hope it ends soon, because I feel desperate. Don't get me wrong though, because I feel extremely cared for and loved by my Master, too. This is why there is no way out of the situation for me, I am all his.

PS: I am not a sex-maniac, and usually I don't think about sex all the time, but I like sex, of course. Well, actually I feel like a maniac at the moment and can only think about sex right now, but that is only Master's fault.

have you locked the door? yes, wait oh no,damn it, I'll go get the cane, Sir

Last Wednesday, when Master was not at home,  I left the house with my shopping list in my hand and my thoughts already dealing with preparations for lunch. Since there have been burglaries in our quarter of the town, Master has told me again and again to keep the door locked, always and under all circumstances. And of course, I really meant to, and did so most of the time. After I had forgotten to lock the door while I was alone at home a few weeks ago, I only got lectured. But last Wednesday it had happened again, and I had no excuse for that. I guess it was only because I had been elsewhere with my thoughts. Even after I came home again, I did not think about the door, which was still unlocked, but then I knew, that Master had returned and I thought he had forgotten to do that. Ehm, no, it was me.  Once I had put away my jacket and greeted him, he asked about the door. I was still a bit confused, because I still had this idea that everything was ok. He just shook his head and waited for my reaction. I tried to think harder but finally I could only admit that I had simply forgotten it, again. He was furious, but I could see that he was actually only relieved because nothing had happened to me. I felt guilty and wanted this situation to be over, so I asked if I could bring the cane and receive my well-deserved punishment. Master agreed and just as usual, once it is over, it really is over. Although I don't like the real punishments, I am glad that we have that way out of situations which end up with days or even weeks of sulking, arguments or a tense atmosphere in  other households. Oh, and  I really learned my lesson, this is a quick way of teaching me.

earn your reward, little one

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emotional crisis and chaos? yes, she lives here...

Currently I am in one of my moody phases again. If you want to know, I have them round about once every month. This is what usually happens then: inner restlessness, inability to focus, angry against myself, feel insecure for no reason, need to be cuddled a lot, forget to finish daily chores need to walk here and there, need to eat chocolate, need to get rid of eaten chocolate, jogging through the woods, feel exhausted from jogging through the woods, much hot water to have a hot bath, need for more physical contact with Master, need to talk about serious issues, but can't focus on that, more need for sex. This is what Master does then: distracts me from minor problems, comforts me, gives me lots of hugs and cuddles, takes me to other places, like nice restaurants, takes me to the bedroom, relaxes me by using hot wax and soft spankings, gives me sex, buys chocolate, has also bought my trainers I use to go jogging, has bought jogging outfit in bright and fluorescent colours, prepares hot baths for me, has hot baths with me, gives me sex, is there to listen to me and calm me down.

Btw, don't believe that I get out of the chores, they are waiting, but Master is lenient towards me when he knows that I am not feeling well. There is a difference between just being uptight or being emotionally challenged and his reactions towards me also reflect that difference. If I am just bitchy and uptight I have to bear the consequences, usually on the bottom, but when I can't cope with myself and have no way out, Master takes my hand and helps me. He gives me all the time I need and he is there for me.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for that,  I love you, Sir.

Why do I submit?

As you probably have found out by now, I love talking to my husband and Master, because for me it helps to create and uphold trust and  love between us. I know that there are also lots of relationships where there is no talking. Coming to think of it, probably, there are more vanilla-couples who don't talk enough than there are M/s  or /D/s couples where the partners don't communicate the way they should. Since my owner (=husband, Master, etc.) and I (<-- I am allowed to use the capital i, btw.) believe that our way of life is good for us, we both do a lot to make it work. Even though I know that basically I am always in slave-mode, there are far more hours in a day, where you don't see or even feel that this is a slavegirl and this is her Master. I am very grateful that we have it this way, because it adds so much variety and more chances for being close. Sure, it is said that there are many hardcore-lifestylers who don't have much more than their Master- and slave-mode relationship, where every movement of Master's eyebrow has a deeper meaning and the slave always feels like a slave, thinks actively like a slave 24/7, has a slave-collar, is shackled 24/7, eats slave-food, has a slave-bed, can only sit on the floor or his/her slave-chair, probably there also is a slave-door, to leave the house.

We work for being close

For us it is all different. We spend a lot of time together and many times I don't have this idea that I am Master's slave. Instead we just love being together and talk, laugh, have fun, care for each other, even sleep in the same bed and sit at the same table. Guess what, I am even allowed to sit on the sofa. Well, most of the time, that is.

Nevertheless, when the moment is there and Master wants me to do something, I just do it. This is where even in everyday-life, our relationship is different from vanillas. If he wants me to bring something, I do it. If he wants me to dress a certain way, I do it. I also follow a general dress-code, that Master gave me, because he likes me best in nice dresses and skirts, so we just fit this into our everyday-life and that's it. I do it, because I want to please my Master and as in all other matters, he has the last saying and decides. Yet, I don't have the feeling of being nothing but an object, not cherished or loved, and that's because we talk and I have learned to trust my Master completely. When I want to talk to him, I have many chances to do so, although there might be times when he just says no, not now. If he feels like it, he could make me stop talking immediately, right in the middle of a sentence. But he doesn't, because my Master cares a lot for me. He wants to know what I feel like and wants to know my thoughts. I am really happy that I have him, because he makes me feel safe, loved, cherished, cared for and more. This is why I am able to submit to him so easily.

We fulfil each other's needs quite well,  he wants to see me do things for him and wants to decide for the both of us and I for one, want that from a man. I don't say this is right for anybody else, but for us it is definitely right. And before some aggressive feminist do-gooders start attacking me for this politically completely incorrect attitude, I just want to add once more that we talk things through and I am glad to leave decisions to my Master. If you don't like that, just live your life differently and I promise, I won't interfere. Please don't be angry with me, I am more the harmony-seeking type of woman.