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Monday, June 2, 2014

Pregnant women=Hobbits

Monday morning, the beginning of a bright and fantastic day, after an absolutely awful night. Well, wait a moment, maybe not as awful as I thought. It was the usual sleepnessness. I stuck to the bed, only got up twice for hot milk and tea. Oh, and three more  times because I had had milk and tea. Well, but I did not sleep.
Of, course, I could go on rambling or whining about my little problems. I surely will, but not now. As I waited in the dark, I finally realized something new and it really struck me: pregnant women are the real hobbits! And I can prove it, Ha!

Yeah, you see, I really had much time last night, to think it through :-)

1. Shape
If you have some knowledge about hobbits, you know that the typical shape of hobbits is that of a buoy. You know them from the sea. So, go and have  a look at your pregnant wife, have a look at any pregnant woman. Once you can see that she is pregnant, you can see that around her belly area, she is getting bigger. Like a hobbit! Their belly area is always well-developed. Forget the Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit actors for a moment. Bilbo and Frodo are atypical examples for their species. They are more on the lean side in the movies. Maybe the movies would have been more authentic, if some pregnant women had played the Hobbit-heroes?

2. Food
Connected to the belly/bump question is the question of food. Hobbits have several meals every day. I think about seven was the rule. This is the ideal number of meals for pregnant women. The experts say seven smaller meals are the best. And they help avoiding some of the morning sickness that you might have, no matter whether it is morning, noon, evening or night.
The second fact concerning food is of course that Hobbits and pregnant women are virtually always hungry. And hobbits as well as pregnant women behave similarly when it comes to food, too. Both eat as if there is no tomorrow. If alone, they might just stuff the good things in. Food is not eaten then, it is devoured. If in company, both make sure that they get their fair share, which is about three times of what a non-pregnant  human being could possibly take.

3. Cuddle factor
The very visible point is, of course, that hobbits and pregnant women are considered cute. The hobbits described in the books have this quality, nice, round beings. Pregnant women have that quality so much, that virtually everybody feels attracted to them. As long as you are pregnant it is almost impossible to annoy anybody. You can be moody, have a fit, whatever you do, you will always receive benevolent and tolerant reactions. And you can see it in the eyes of the non-hobbits. You can read that line “She’s pregnant”. This, naturally, could be correctly translated into “She is a cute hobbit”. The worst that you might experience is that someone pats on your shoulder with so much tolerance that it hurts. Some might think that you have lost your marbles, the way you behave. But they will still be nice to you.
Be careful, though, since some are out to touch your bump. It is like touching cute little hobbits in general. Not every kind of touch is welcomed. In that case, call for help, scold them and leave.


Therefore, dear audience, I come to the only plausible conclusion, and repeat my initial statement: pregnant women are the real hobbits. So, what Tolkien wanted to write, was not an ordinary adventure story. His true, although admittedly hidden intention was to write an allegory on the long journey of women towards motherhood. Depending on the level of hormones, perception changes for pregnant women, too. Therefore, the more the level of hormones rises, the more women suffer. Accordingly, pregnancy might be conceived as extremely straining for those who suffer a real lot. While in labour, some might perceive pregnancy as negative.
Allegorically spoken, this negativity takes the form of wizards, e.g. Saruman, and of course, Sauron. My idea was that this is just another hidden clue to the role men play in impregnating women. They are wizards, and in some cases it seems like pure magic that a woman becomes pregnant at all. It is the men’s fault, and at times we might feel like ripping their heads of, but basically we are endlessly attracted to them. The magic spell is too strong to resist, which we could also see happening to Frodo, a hobbit, of course.

Case closed. Now give me food.

Disclaimer (my  first one)

If anybody feels offended by my reasoning, you have two options. When you are pregnant, blame your partner. When you are not pregnant but a woman, blame my insomnia. When you are a man and have read up to this line I apologize for comparing you to something negative, but according to my experience, chances might be higher that you just went and took some peanuts and enjoy yourself. … Unless you are a fantasy fiction fan. Then I am in trouble and apologize a second time, and come up with my favourite all time excuses: I am pregnant and suffer from sleepness nights and it is hubby’s fault. :-) Hope you are not really miffed, though.


  1. Nina: Caution - fantasy fiction lover here in foothills!

    I've always loved hobbits. My mother instilled this love in me very young as she would read "The Hobbit" out loud to me and my sisters. I love Tolkien and many other fantasy authors.

    Your hypothesis (that pregnant woman are the real world hobbits) is an interesting one worth more analysis. There definitely are some similarities that I hadn't thought about before! Plus, I wouldn't let the actors in the movies sway your opinion - using real actors they were also forced to comply with some real world issues (making the actors appear shorter also made them thinner - so proportionally they did not greatly resemble halflings).

    I hope you also realized you just opened up a virtual endless smorgasbord of metaphors relating to Middle Earth, hobbits and pregnant women. You mentioned some, but just think... what ARE these things??? - the ring, the Shire, the dwarves, the quest of Erebor and the ring, not to mention - the place where Frodo must throw the ring in the end: the Crack of Doom. :)

  2. Uh oh, a fantasy fiction lover ... I am in trouble now?! .-) Hi foothills, I had not thought about the smorgasbord of metaphors that might follow. Hmmm, I don't really know if opening Pandora's box was such a good idea, after reading the possible interpretation the metaphors might take. But since hobbits surely are pregnant women, the Shire must be either a maternity clinic, well maybe it could be a shoe shop or a supermarket for healthy food, but not much else. Coming to think of it, I have known a nurse once, who had all the answers. She reminds me of the dwarves, don't know why. I don't know if I want to state my idea about the ring, the object of desire in the story, neither do I want to think too much about the details of the Crack of Doom, but it cracked me up, for sure :-) Sorry for the cheap joke.
    But, since I started it, I have to endure it. Oh Lord, what have I created?!



  3. I have never read about about hobbits or seen the movies, but this post was cute regardless :-) Sorry you're still not sleeping, that just plain sucks. I have heard that the gentle sway and rock of a hammock can induce sleep,not sure if you want to install one though :-) You could always ask your Hubby to drive you around in the car, lol. That always puts me to sleep!

  4. Hi River, thank you, last night was the worst ever, but I am trying to catch up on sleep somehow, whenever I feel tired (=always). I had far better nights but last night I felt baby dancing in the tiniest little steps possible. She was not the reason for me being awake, though, and when I am busy and do not pay attention, I might still take her little moves as gas, but usually I do identify her now. So, I have no real idea why I do not sleep well.
    We have something similar to a hammock, and I am sure hubby will love the idea that maybe a hammock could help. We have big rings for tying me up in several places in the house, so that could put them to more use again. Hubby is a little worried when I have really bad nights. But I still feel fine, so I would not want to take any kind of pills. I don't like that in general and with baby on board even less, and so I will go on with walking, swimming, relaxing, warm milk and tea, but the hammock is a great idea. Anything is welcome, because not sleeping really sucks completely. This morning I felt like a ghost, went to town and got a mix of friendly and rather sympathetic looks, so the hobbit seems to look strained at the moment.

    Driving in the car wouldn't work, it might lead to backseat driving from my side, because I do bite my tongue sometimes when I am in a car with hubby driving. And when I am not as concentrated due to lack of sleep, this might backfire on me.

    The Lord of the Rings might be worth reading, but I found the first fifty pages hard, afterwards it became very exciting, though. I can recommend it (and have to, because foothills is a fan and I don't want him miffed after having provoked him a little bit :-) )
    I'll ask hubby for a hammock, I'll love it, unless I fall out of it, that is :-)



  5. Now you just need the hairy feet, Nina! How do you explain that??? I've heard pre-natal vitamins boost hair growth, so maybe that's how it happens ;)

    1. Hi Autumn,
      hairy feet? Urgh, I don't like that, but that's probably only the result of the later weeks in the third trimester :-) ... because you cannot see your feet any longer.


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