Pregnant women=Hobbits

Monday morning, the beginning of a bright and fantastic day, after an absolutely awful night. Well, wait a moment, maybe not as awful as I thought. It was the usual sleepnessness. I stuck to the bed, only got up twice for hot milk and tea. Oh, and three more  times because I had had milk and tea. Well, but I did not sleep.

Of, course, I could go on rambling or whining about my little problems. I surely will, but not now. As I waited in the dark, I finally realized something new and it really struck me: pregnant women are the real hobbits! And I can prove it, Ha!

Yeah, you see, I really had much time last night, to think it through :-)

1. Shape

If you have some knowledge about hobbits, you know that the typical shape of hobbits is that of a buoy. You know them from the sea. So, go and have  a look at your pregnant wife, have a look at any pregnant woman. Once you can see that she is pregnant, you can see that around her belly area, she is getting bigger. Like a hobbit! Their belly area is always well-developed. Forget the Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit actors for a moment. Bilbo and Frodo are atypical examples for their species. They are more on the lean side in the movies. Maybe the movies would have been more authentic, if some pregnant women had played the Hobbit-heroes?

2. Food

Connected to the belly/bump question is the question of food. Hobbits have several meals every day. I think about seven was the rule. This is the ideal number of meals for pregnant women. The experts say seven smaller meals are the best. And they help avoiding some of the morning sickness that you might have, no matter whether it is morning, noon, evening or night.

The second fact concerning food is of course that Hobbits and pregnant women are virtually always hungry. And hobbits as well as pregnant women behave similarly when it comes to food, too. Both eat as if there is no tomorrow. If alone, they might just stuff the good things in. Food is not eaten then, it is devoured. If in company, both make sure that they get their fair share, which is about three times of what a non-pregnant  human being could possibly take.

3. Cuddle factor

The very visible point is, of course, that hobbits and pregnant women are considered cute. The hobbits described in the books have this quality, nice, round beings. Pregnant women have that quality so much, that virtually everybody feels attracted to them. As long as you are pregnant it is almost impossible to annoy anybody. You can be moody, have a fit, whatever you do, you will always receive benevolent and tolerant reactions. And you can see it in the eyes of the non-hobbits. You can read that line “She’s pregnant”. This, naturally, could be correctly translated into “She is a cute hobbit”. The worst that you might experience is that someone pats on your shoulder with so much tolerance that it hurts. Some might think that you have lost your marbles, the way you behave. But they will still be nice to you.

Be careful, though, since some are out to touch your bump. It is like touching cute little hobbits in general. Not every kind of touch is welcomed. In that case, call for help, scold them and leave.

Conclusion

Therefore, dear audience, I come to the only plausible conclusion, and repeat my initial statement: pregnant women are the real hobbits. So, what Tolkien wanted to write, was not an ordinary adventure story. His true, although admittedly hidden intention was to write an allegory on the long journey of women towards motherhood. Depending on the level of hormones, perception changes for pregnant women, too. Therefore, the more the level of hormones rises, the more women suffer. Accordingly, pregnancy might be conceived as extremely straining for those who suffer a real lot. While in labour, some might perceive pregnancy as negative.

Allegorically spoken, this negativity takes the form of wizards, e.g. Saruman, and of course, Sauron. My idea was that this is just another hidden clue to the role men play in impregnating women. They are wizards, and in some cases it seems like pure magic that a woman becomes pregnant at all. It is the men’s fault, and at times we might feel like ripping their heads of, but basically we are endlessly attracted to them. The magic spell is too strong to resist, which we could also see happening to Frodo, a hobbit, of course.

Case closed. Now give me food.

Disclaimer (my  first one)

If anybody feels offended by my reasoning, you have two options. When you are pregnant, blame your partner. When you are not pregnant but a woman, blame my insomnia. When you are a man and have read up to this line I apologize for comparing you to something negative, but according to my experience, chances might be higher that you just went and took some peanuts and enjoy yourself. … Unless you are a fantasy fiction fan. Then I am in trouble and apologize a second time, and come up with my favourite all time excuses: I am pregnant and suffer from sleepness nights and it is hubby’s fault. :-) Hope you are not really miffed, though.