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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Patience required

I am well-seated, calm, relaxed. Om.

... Om

---Om .... !...!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, doesn't seem to help much lately. I'm restless, inside out. Hubby found me almost stuck in the oven this morning. Final cleaning, but he insisted that all was spick and span, tidy, clean, desinfected, new, replaced when necessary, folded, put away, labled and sorted. 

.... He is right.  Anyway, hubby banned me from all activities which might lead to me putting my head into some machine. 

So, in a way, all I do is waiting for baby to come. I have not written a note for my blog yet, saying that my water broke. I will hopefully have something ready by tonight. But I cannot even be sure that I will recognize it when it starts. I might just try to take another warm bath and 'suddenly' I am having a water birth? 

Actually one of my bigger concerns is about water breaking. I have seen in some films that pregnant  women have somewhere in their bump a water tank right next to their baby. I mean, I know that baby really fills me out pretty much to the limit. There cannot be that much water I'd say. So, my water might break and all I do is change the pad, because it is just like any other sneeze-leak experience I have had? Wait, the best is yet to come: my doc told me that water breaking often enough does not happen naturally, instead it would be done by medical personnel.



Since this is the beginning of week 39 for us :-), I feel pretty safe and cared for, and I want labour to begin. I think that we have come such a long way, the first time ever and with no catastrophic experience, that in some way I can enjoy to just let it happen (soon, please!). Yes, I am slightly nervous about giving birth, but somehow we have been through all the details so often that I don't feel uninformed or not prepared. I can handle that and actually I am pretty confident, paired with being afraid of some embarrassing things happening during delivery. And right now I feel I can handle these too. I am also sure I can care for baby's physical well-being, I have learned what I need to know, I have been told what I need to know, in addition, I will be shown more when baby is there. 

And then? 

I want our little one to feel loved, cared for in more ways than just the physical basics, of course. I want her to feel safe and want to see her happy, like in really happy. I am curious how well we can do that and currently this is where my self-confidence leaves me. This is a big load of responsibility we will have for baby and now it is so overwhelming when I think about it. Hubby doesn't seem to have this insecurity at all and in a way that makes it even worse for me and I feel somehow inadequate. Urgh. I have to switch off the over-analyzer immediately. Sorry for the last lines. This is not supposed to be a down post and maybe all I need is more time to get used to the idea. Up to now thinking about what comes after delivery was so surreal and suddenly reality kicks me in the shin full force.




So, with a final Om 
I proudly present ourselves in week 39!

And I hope you all have a great Wednesday, 
not too many doubts about your own capabilities 
and 
I wish you an even better second half of the week!

13 comments :

  1. Hi Nina,
    Congrats on week 39! Any day now, you'll be holding that roly poly bundle close to you :-) Don't worry about making baby feel cherished, I know it will come naturally to you, you are very intuitive. Besides, all small children truly want is your undivided attention, and food, really!As for your water breaking, you are right, it could break and you may not realize it, it could gush, or it could remain intact until baby comes out. I've had it happen all three ways, and I have to say, the contractions with water bag mostly intact were a bit gentler because it cushions your cervix against the hardness of baby's head. No matter what happens, you will do wonderfully, and you'll have your Hubby to help you through it
    :-) Hmmm....should we start betting on which day baby will come?

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  2. Hi River, thank you! I want baby in my arms and will be happy for the first signs of labour. For me it really is high time and I must admit that I also want my body back. :-) Baby will have all my attention, and I'll carry all food around she'll need for a while (still not leaking there, though). If the contractions are gentler with the water bag almost intact, I'll opt for that, please. :-) You are right, hubby is really waiting for it, and he is definitely the sensible one here who gives me a lot of strength.
    Baby's birthday? I'd say a Saturday or Sunday, when all the doctors are probably not available at first. Or during any rush hour. Hmm, but otherwise I have no idea. The due date is 1st October, but the docs would also wait longer. My body doesn't give a clue, baby doesn't do that either, so this is really difficult to predict.

    Ha! I know, my bet is 3rd October, because that's a bank holiday here. So, what's your bet?

    hugs

    Nina

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  3. Congrats on week 39 Nina! I'm so excited for you, very soon you will be holding baby in your arms :) I'm glad you are feeling prepared and confident. You will do great and as River said, hubby will be by your side :)

    As for the bet, hmmm, I'll go with October 14, my Dad's birthday. Please don't shoot me !:)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Oops, sorry, I meant to write October 5th! Sorry, I was distracted LoL

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    2. Hi Roz, thank you! LoL, if I should have to wait till the 14th I would go crazy. The 5th sounds nicer than that, (although I really hope that I don't have to wait that long either). We'll see, but as for now, we are quiet and relaxed, instead of having energy I am pretty depleted today, sleep was possible, too, maybe my body does final preparations for baby's appearance? :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  4. Any time now....gosh it feels like you've been pregnant forever to mouse....It's exciting to read each update!

    So, you're finished nesting?

    Hugs,
    mouse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi mouse, I have started blogging around one year ago, in September, and that really means for most of this time I have written somehow about pregnancy. This was one of the things I had not thought about when I started the blog, but it went that way.

      I don't know about nesting. Yesterday I was really busy, but this morning and up to now I have not done anything more than the usual chores. Lots of ideas what I could do, but a little too low on energy today. Instead, I simply enjoyed being at home throughout the afternoon. I don't know why, but today this was more home than ever before (sorry if it doesn't make sense). But there are new ideas forming in my head. :-D

      hugs

      Nina

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  5. Hang in there! Your little love will be here any day now! My water broke all three times on it's own & it was VERY noticeable lol it was by myself with the 1st two but with the last one my husband was there & he was really surprised that he could actually hear the pop when my water broke! You will do just fine whether your water breaks on it's own or they need to help it along all will go just as it is supposed to & you will have your beautiful baby in your arms at last! Try to get as much rest as you can before your labor because it will really help.
    Love,
    Scarlet ; )

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    Replies
    1. Hi Scarlet, I am waiting and waiting. For the most part I can cope with that, but then again, I am sort of impatient and want to do something. I don’t mean my sorting marathons, they are cool, and it is an activity I enjoy a lot and can do without moving around too much at the moment. So, what it takes from my side is just this little bit of patience, and I listen closely, therefore I do try to get additional rest.
      Since yesterday this has actually become easier, because at the moment I simply enjoy being here. I am still itching to do a few things in the house, but not as much as before yesterday. I think everything is ready, we are prepared, baby can come. I am waiting for the ‘pop’!

      hugs

      Nina

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  6. Soooo close... any day now and .... mine were planned c-sections, so I knew their birthdays a couple of weeks in advance, just weird, so I'm living vicariously though you at the moment, hope you don't mind :)
    hugs
    DF

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    Replies
    1. Hi DF, I hope so much to get around a c-section, and I can only agree, knowing that much in advance about the birthdays must have been really strange. But if there was no way around it for the safety of baby, I’d also have it immediately, of course.
      Hey, when you say that you are living vicariously through me, is that the masochist in you speaking :-D? I am simply glad you have given me so much support (hugs)! … And I know that reading through some of my entries must really include some suffering for you as one who works with texts day in and day out. :-)

      hugs

      Nina

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    2. More than happy to come reading here. I just I could write as fast I can read! My masochism is limited to a few choice areas of application ;-)

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