She is there! We have our little lovely baby girl !

Somehow, most of what happened in the labour ward is in a haze and although labour really felt long, I could not tell you how long this actually took, if hubby had not told me. Monday to Tuesday night, around 3 am I woke up and at first I was not sure, but after a few minutes I absolutely knew that this was ‘it’. Not BH, not gas, not anything but real labour contractions. You know what, this made me happy, as it was the signal for what we have been waiting for all the time.

3930g, 50cm long (head circumference 37cm), healthy and with broad shoulders, like a wrestler! Well, that’s what it felt like when I pushed her out. I thought she got stuck, but she didn’t, all it takes is ‘push,…Push… P U S H !!!!!! Very good, she’s almost there, only one more time….’  Actually, when the midwife said that, she meant it. Only seconds later I had our beautiful little one on my belly. Hubby was with me, holding hands and he was as happy as can be when she protested a little. I think she was pretty tired from the last 14 hours, so she took a little nap as soon as she could. After cutting the umbilical cord and her being in my arms for a moment, hubby had some time with her while we were cared for.

Our little one has brown eyes and pretty dark brown hair, which is definitely from hubby’s side of the family, as we are all blond here from the continental side of the family. She is such a cutie with tiny hands and feet and has such a lovely smell. When she is on my belly, I have an additional cushion under my head, so that I can smell her away as much as possible. I love her smell.

Smelling her is not enough for me, though. In some moments I am afraid of waking up and finding out that all was just a dream. Sounds probably completely weird, but I cannot change that either. And in one of these moments I need to hold my little one, to actually see, touch and smell her, to believe that she is here and real. You know, she is the best that ever happened to us.

Maybe you have guessed that we had a few days in the clinic, and thank God I had a nice midwife there who helped me with latching her on the first time. I mean, it is not that it is difficult, but doing it wrong can definitely be painful, and therefore it is so much nicer if you have someone to check whether you are doing it right. 

During the last days, everything was somehow surreal. No, I am not on drugs, well, maybe on happy hormones. I must have a lot of these, as I am sweating loads of them out. Fuzz brain and what have you is here. At least I don’t have to worry about things which should be done in the household, since my mom is here to help for the first days.

Everything is somehow overwhelming. Hubby is happy,  baby is happy, I am happy, but nevertheless, now that we are back home with our little babygirl (for the name, see below), so many things are somehow different. I am always on alert, listening out for her, probably far more than necessary, but I cannot change this (and don't want to). During the last night she was really hungry and I didn’t sleep much. This was a little better the days before, when we had a two hour rhythm.

From Friday to Saturday has been my first night back at home, with a lot of restlessness, because the situation is so different from the comfortable circumstances in the clinic. There, the nurses looked after the babies for a while, so that we mommies could get some more sleep. I did that and had baby when she was hungry, crying, and during the day. Day one was a sleepy day for both of us, but then she became hungry. I love nursing, apart from that it happens around every two hours. Knowing that it would be (at least) that often and experiencing it for real are definitely not the same. Nevertheless, I enjoy these moments endlessly and experience them as deeply satisfying … with side effects.

Just as the milk coming in has been different than I had thought. I mean, my breasts have grown  during pregnancy … but now they are really heavy and have been expanding again (I think I need a 'handle with care' sticker now). 

Throughout the week their weight has absolutely increased, which seems to be good. But they are really dragging me down! Baby does get enough milk from me. Not having enough  milk for her was something I dreaded so much. Weeellll, now I wonder why, as there is more than enough in this milk bar and my worries were without any reason. 

One additional piece of advice that I got: to minimize engorgement, nurse often. For me, this is most important to obey during the nights, when I’d like to sleep, But even when baby and I are sleepy, I better nurse her around every two hours. I don't know why, but just thinking about it makes me smile.

Baby's got a name!

Our little honey bee has three forenames. The first and second are from Scandinavia, and the third one is from hubby’s family. The funny thing is that one of my friends also goes by that name. Nevertheless, apart from being written in the passport probably no one is going to use it. … Apart from me, here in Smacking Bottom.

So, I have permission to publish that our little sunshine’s third name is Mathilda. Baby has got her name now in my blog! To see her name here, published, is strange. After such a long time when Mathilda was only known as ‘baby’ here, I can use her name, which is great. 

As some of you know, hubby would not allow to tell more, which I still find pretty disappointing. Well, I can tell you Mathilda’s first and second name are the best ever, of course. :) What I also found a little vexing was that in 15 years she will probably have every detail of her life in her Facebook account, readable for everybody.

If anything of what I wrote tonight was not understandable, this might just be from me trying to tell so much and not finding the words for any of it. I don’t think that I am able to organize my thoughts clearer than this at the moment, since I am pretty excited, tired, happy and also a little bit overwhelmed (positively).

I have not even had time to see what I have missed here in Smacking Bottom during this week. I’ll try to catch up again quickly and I am sorry for not having commented. Someone kept us a little busy here, I guess.:)

I wish you all a very happy and lovely weekend!