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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The return of the sleepless grumpy bumpy

Once upon a time, there was a girl with a big bump. Because of that bump, she was generally known as Bumpy. She was married to Mr Sleep-well. After a hard and long day at work, he’d come home to his faithful wife Bumpy, they would spend time together, which both of them loved. Bumpy and Mr Sleep-well were grateful for their lives and everything was wonderful, because they would have a baby soon, too. 

Did I say everything was wonderful? No, not everything. Mr Sleep-well and Bumpy had an agreement that she’d go to bed in time, because she needed her sleep for the best of her baby and to be nice and pleasant during the day, too. But there also was an evil wizard, hiding in one of the dark corners of the realm and he had cursed the Sleep-wells not to sleep for more than two hours in a row. Alas, the wizard was good enough to work his magic, but he was old and forgot some of the magic ingredients. As a result, the curse only hit poor Bumpy and it did not always work either. 

Well, dear reader, you might ask ‘why should he do that?!’ The intent of the evil wizard was to spread anger and frustration, so that the poor Sleep-wells would argue with each other. The old wizard fed on anger and frustration. Since the Sleep-wells were a very harmonious couple, this would taste even better. What he did not know was, that Mr Sleep-well was a healer who had recognized the symptoms of this malicious curse. To counter it, he had produced a magic hammock, so that poor little Bumpy would get the sleep she needed, in it.

Over the weeks, the evil wizard slowly became weaker, because of the magic power of the hammock and some bedroom-magic of Mr Sleep-well. Bumpy had also learned a lot to counter the dreaded insomnia-curse and some well-meaning faeries from beyond the oceans had added their wisdom to help Bumpy, too. So, life was getting better again for the Sleep-wells while the wizard was close to dying. This would have ended his curse, too. But capricious fate had decided otherwise. Since the wizard saw the end of his days approaching, full of cunning he called for bad weather, as soon as the Sleep-wells would return from a long journey to another ancient realm.

As the Sleep-wells returned home, the rainy and stormy weather made it impossible for Bumpy to get enough  sleep outside, in her magic hammock. Oh, you should have seen the malicious glee in the wizard’s eyes, as he felt his power return slowly. Bumpy was tired as a log again, because she lacked sleep and simply could not rest. Actually, the wizard’s curse had almost ended, and some of her sleeplessness was because of some pain in the back and because she was so spoiled that she needed loads of cushions to rest her impressive belly. As a result, within a few days after they had returned from their trip, Bumpy was grumpy. Therefore, on a Tuesday morning, her frustration was bigger than ever before and she was irritable and whatever Mr Sleep-well said, brought her closer to tears. Either because of the frustration, or because she just could not stop them from falling, since they needed to get out of her. 

Mr Sleep-well, the healer, was very understanding. He cursed the name of the evil wizard, because Bumpy’s bump made it impossible to use the magic of spanking to heal her completely from almost anything. Some uneducated villagers whispered quietly that the magic spankings could turn any wild and dangerous witch into an obedient and compliant wife. Oh, but this magic could not be worked, and so Bumpy had to suffer a bad conscience during the day for being grumpy to her sweetheart. Mr Sleep-well was known for his leniency towards Bumpy, when it came to the evil consequences of her sleeplessness, because he had learned that she could not always resist the dangerous effects of the curse. Bumpy in return tried hard to find a remedy, she tried hard to sleep early, drank tea, did exercises, but often enough you would see her sit at the table, waiting for sleep, maybe reading or writing, sometimes even doing laundry. Every few minutes you would see her look out of the window and sigh, when her longing gaze rests on the place where the magic hammock would help Bumpy to find more sleep. According to what the people say, you could sometimes even  see the shadow of Mr Sleep-well in the dark, pondering what to do, as he watched his beautiful wife Bumpy and would love to suffer that curse, instead of her.

According to the faries, bump-experts and midwives, the insomnia-curse could intensify after Bumpy's most beautiful baby is born, but sooner or later, the evil magic worked by the wizard, would come to an end. And then they would live happily ever after.

Well, maybe you have guessed it, Tuesday night, after midnight, I am wide awake, as if I had litres of coffee. No sleep in sight, no hammock, because it rained during the day. The irony of my sleep-troubles is, that hubby usually is the one who can do without much sleep, whereas I am a wreck, if I don’t get enough. So, I am waiting here to feel some kind  of sleepiness to creep in, but that has not happened yet and I read blog-entries while I wait. The only reason why I have not commented more in your blogs is that I cannot focus much at the moment. I had this problem before, baby brain at its best. My in-laws have seen that too, and especially my mother-in-law was very helpful and understanding (former nurse; she has seen it all). She suggested to have pen and paper with me all the time. I will write more about our stay in Britain, once I am awake again. 

Sorry for the whining, 
nevertheless, everybody have a good and most pleasant night with sweet dreams. 


  1. Oh Nina, what a lovely story! I enjoyed reading this. I'm sorry the curse has found you once again and hope the evil wizard and his curse are soon vanquished so that peace may once again reign over the Sleep-well's.


  2. Hi Roz, thank you, ... and Amen, I also hope this evil wizard and his curse are soon vanquished. Last night was a mess. I did not know how to sleep, bump on the right side was wrong, on the left side was wrong, in the middle is impossible, then I feel sick. LoL, it went on for almost three hours, before I actually did find some sleep. Not enough, but better than none. :) Today the weather is better, so I'll fetch my blanket soon and get out -> hammock time, Yippeee. And even though I apologized to Mr Sleep-well from the heart, I still think that I have to make up for being bitchy yesterday morning; I am glad that he understood my grumpiness for what it was, just this being worn down from not sleeping. It's no excuse, but he wouldn't start punishing me over this, because my little inconveniences have become more intense (esp. the back is a real pain), so that I am not always at my best.




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