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Thursday, July 3, 2014

Scary stuff

I have had an appointment with my doctor and since we are only two weeks away from our flight home, we discussed some of the things that could pose a problem. I already knew that some airlines demand papers from a doctor saying when the baby is due, and some airlines are unwilling to take women as passengers when they are too close to their due date.

But we also talked about preterm labor. Maybe I should not have asked, but I did because I am getting nervous again when I think about the flight to Britain. It will be a short flight, so I shouldn't bother, but I do, even though everything was fine last time, apart from hubby and his brothers' jokes about crashing planes, that is. 

Yes, I couldn't stop, I wanted to know what to look out for ... and got an answer. Since I am not week 37 yet, but only 27, I want to know when to call a doctor. I mean, it makes a huge difference whether you have cramps or your water breaks three months earlier than it should, doesn't it. My doctor said that I won't need the information, all will be fine. She has learned that her biggest job this time is to calm me down, because I am overanxious and I know that. Doesn't help me much to know this. "Just let nature have its way" is what I get to hear approximately three times per visit. Besides, so far, almost all tests were as average as possible, meaning that baby is perfectly fine (she has hiccups now too, or a tiny drum. :)  )

My doctor knows well enough why I am like this. She has been with me when things never worked out, which means we have spent much time together. She tells me what needs to be said, and sometimes that means to do some straight talking (a spanking would help, but she wouldn't do that). So, according to her, all will be fine when we fly home, and there is not a single reason even to assume that anything could go wrong. I do believe every word of what she said, but this does not mean that I am completely relaxed. ... And who says that believing her and sticking to my fears cannot happen at the same time?



Maybe I should not have asked her about preterm labour, because now it is stuck in my head. Maybe I should just try to relax again, but anything related to losing babies scares me to death. The topic is  serious for many and I am not able to give advice here, but maybe a simple request is acceptable. 

If you feel that anything is wrong with baby or you, please go and see your doctor, or at least call him/her. I have been running to mine more than I had to, and my doctor understood that and was with me, and with 35 you get the VIP treatment anyways. It is right and important to go and ask your doc, if you have the feeling something could be wrong. Hopefully, the message will always be that it was false alarm, and your doc should be on your side when you are anxious. You care for two and you will regret not going, and will always wonder 'Was it because I did not see my doctor when I had the chance?"


I am sorry for that down-post, and apologize if I possibly hurt anybody who knows too well what I mean with this post. I do not want to stirr up old memories, but if you are pregnant and feel something is different, ask your doctor, please. Let them roll their eyes or whatever, but your unborn child should be worth it and sometimes getting medical help in time will save a life.



Edit:  I think I have been bad at explaining anything in this one, so I felt I had to add this now. It was a disaster scenario of mine, what could go wrong while we are on board of this darn plane, with insufficient medical aid and then preterm labour sets in. Basically, it is just my imagination running wild (feels a bit like pms on speed). I don't know why, but somehow these thoughts were very unsettling for me.
I should have gone into the garden, instead of being so unreasonable. But I stick to my recommendation to see your gynaecologist rather too often than not. Sorry for the trouble I have caused.

10 comments :

  1. I think it's perfectly natural to be anxious Nina, but try and breathe and listen to your doctor that there is no need to be concerned.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Roz, you are absolutely right, and today most of this is less of a problem than it was on Friday. I know that I was silly then and I do listen to the others, but sometimes it doesn’t sink in quick enough for me.

      hugs

      Nina

      Delete
  2. Oh Nina, I'm right there with you in my head. My first successful pregnancy was complicated. Fighting off the anxieties and scary moments was hard, almost impossible given how irrational pregnancy makes you feel. However, even when those about me flapped and told me I was in pre-term labour (which I wasn't, I went on to 38wks), my maternal instinct told me nothing was wrong, my baby was doing fine and now she is a fit young girl. You will have those moments of fear, but deep down, your body is in control of the situation and behaving perfectly, only the mind tricks you into thinking otherwise.
    The advantage of being a 'mature' mum, was I saw the midwives more frequently than my younger friends and had lots of opportunities to unburden my worries. They smile, nod and tell you not worry and they were right. In retrospect, I'm quite glad I'm an 'old' mum, it gave me that extra reassurance.
    I'm sure a short flight is no problem. Stick on headphones, shut your eyes, ignore the plane, wriggle your toes in time the music and look forward to seeing your family.
    I hope I haven't scared you with my memories, but looking back on it, nothing terrible happened and it all worked out fine.
    big hugs
    Del

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DF, I am so sorry that I have worried you with my own worries. It is not from your memories that I had this fit, it is just that I couldn’t get rid of all that might happen. Irrational? Yes, absolutely. I had a long talk with my best friend and afterwards it was far better again, and she said more or less what you said too, and what my doc keeps saying. So, I’ll try to relax again and not to think about the flight. I think I’ll take a blindfold during the flight, because I don’t want to see us crash. :) … And maybe I should swim to Britain next time, just to make sure. :D But otherwise the flight doesn’t bother me much. Hey, seriously, I am better again than Friday morning but I might need hubby holding my hand tightly during the flight.
      You are definitely right, the body is in control, and it is only the mind, playing tricks on me. And usually I get all the reassurance I need, so that I am not too worried. With week 27 half done, I should feel on the safe side anyways, and usually I do, unless I have silly ideas. I am really sorry that I have worried you and I am very grateful for your big hugs! I need many of them at the moment,

      big hugs

      Nina

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  3. I know!! First baby at 31 second at 36.
    2 babies but 6 full rounds of IVF.
    I can remember that my dearest wish while pregnant was that my stomach could be made of glass just so I could check all was as it should be! I would constantly prod my tummy to wake my babies and feel them move! I went along to the hospital one lunch time as I had not felt movement all morning, midwives got me up on the bed to examine me and baby started doing roly-polies! She wrote in my notes 'baby movements felt and seen!'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Janey, six rounds of IVF does not sound like fun at all, but I am happy that you had two lovely babies as a result. The stomach out of glass sounds like a good idea, and I am always waiting for movement inside, too.
      I am fully with you, if I had this feeling that there was no movement for a long time, I’d go crazy and be at my doctor’s immediately. When baby moves, all is fine, and I try to make her do that too, at times. :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  4. I'm sorry that you're struggling with these fears at the moment, it's so hard not to. But, you are wise in being over cautious rather than ignoring your feelings. It's great that you have such a good relationship with your doctor, and she can help to ease your fears, too. Are you taking birthing classes? There it's one called Bradley method that really focuses on relaxation, which I found to be helpful before labor just as much as during. Good luck with enjoying your flight :-)

    River

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    Replies
    1. River, I’d rather appear silly, overanxious and overcautious than risk anything when it comes to baby. I have known my doc for such a long time, that somehow we could only get closer and she helps a lot to ease my fears.
      I’ll have my birthing class right after returning home from our family visit. I didn’t know the Bradley method by name, but many of the ideas behind it are what we will have in the course, too. We can only do the weekend course, but I am sure that will be great with hubby. Well, it will be much better than this flight. DF suggested headphones and music and I will just close my eyes until it is over.

      hugs

      Nina

      Delete
  5. "PMS on speed" That is the most apt description I have ever heard for those mind-consuming pregnancy feelings!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi lil, thank you for stopping by! Well, I think that some of my thoughts and actions are currently even less reasonable than they would be at other times. And this is a rollercoaster ride where you really do not know when it starts or stops. Sometimes it is really tiring, but I would not want it any different, because I get all the support that I could ever wish for ... and feel awesome (generally speaking). Go preggos! :D

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete

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