This is a grey day

Mathilda news

Tilda is fine .... I am being followed by her. I mean when I am close by, she looks at my movements, and she can smile now while being awake, obviously she has entertainer qualities, because she tells herself things and is pleased, according to the noises. Well, and she still sleeps a lot. 

And we can play silly nursery or counting rhymes now. Itsy bitsy spider is one of our favourites, and one of the German ones is great too (Das ist der Daumen). They are great to count along Tilda's fingers and toes and guess what, it appears to be all new for her. Every time of the 999 times we have done it! ... She is persistent with this and her excitement is so cute. She stiffens her arms every time I count her fingers or toes. Every time!

She is far less excited when I feed her, though. There she takes her time, drinks a little, enjoys, drinks again, enjoys, drinks a little, ... you get the idea. If anything, trying to rush would make Tilda angry. She's relaxed, but not lazy. I need a little patience, sure, but actually she is easy to please, because she lets me know without doubt when she has finished lunch. She is not dawdling around all the time.

A friend of mine has a daughter who does that. Drinking, then only playing with mom's nipple in her mouth, maybe drinking again, playing with the nip. ... She should have been a boy, I'd say.

Black is not a colour, but it is my favourite one for now! Urgh!

Thank you so much for colours! I do not usually wear many dark clothes, but I have learned one, no two things by now.
1. Leaking can occur anytime, anyplace, usually in the most inopportune of moments possible.
2. Praise the Lord for black tops and pullovers. You cannot see the wet spots. But you can see every single goose bump on my nip if I wear a white shirt and forget the nursing pad. I'd win any wet T-shirt contest that way, I am sure.

It's the small things, too

This week has somehow not been too awesome yet. Therefore, when I started writing this, my mood was not really good. I think what's wrecking me is that hubby is pretty busy. It is midweek, so I cannot expect any other and don't want to. I simply feel more intensely this week that he has less time at the moment. Maybe you know what this is like, somehow all is fine but then again, you are not.

Sometimes they are only little things, and today, I can give a few outward reasons why I am not at my best, nevertheless, I am guessing a little, because I don't know for sure. So, I have a wee cold, am a little cranky, want to go to bed only, hubby is not here, friends are busy having a life (how dare they?! :D ), the outside world is grey, and I get a depression from having to wear black. Maybe it is this brooding that brings me down. I don't do that usually and believe that it is very unhealthy. Over-analyzing, yes, all the time, though I stop that often enough as it is an infinite supply of creating trouble. I think this has been the first day for ages where we only had one short appointment in the morning, but otherwise, nobody was visiting or calling.

Add to that, when Tilda and I went out in the morning, I thought the grey colour of this day was awful. Usually being out with Tilda is cool and invigorating, because of the fresh air, cold faces, we are both busy and I can tell her something about the world around her. But today? Not bad, but not too good either.

Gloomy times suck. But there are days when all it takes is a little incentive to make them awesome. If possible I want to do all so that our days here are awesome too. After lunch I decided that this was going to be a day that would be awesome in a way. (Another cunning plan of mine :D )

So, first I got some hot and healthy tea, then I put on my brightest red T-shirt, pads were fresh and dry, and even if I'd soak them, it wouldn't matter, as hubby is fascinated by my wet spots. This is where I want my sex drive back!

Second, light, give me light and more light, let it be bright. Much better! I switched it on after lunch, but early in the evening we actually switched most light off in the living room. It was cozy, Tilda and I on the sofa, we had done a lot of nursery rhyming today. When I put things in her hand, she grabs and holds them now, too. In a way, we had a half-lazy afternoon. There were a few chores, but apart from being around Tilda and playing a little with her, there was not much to be done. It was an easy day. I could not sleep, although I know I should have, but that was ok. Instead Tilda and I made it a quality time afternoon. Accordingly, the day was much better than its start. Hubby has returned by now, too, my best friend called, right after hubby returned. Hubby got dinner and afterwards Tilda had hers. Suddenly life is much brighter again.

Sorry for the jumpy thoughts, 

seems some sleep is in order now.

I wish everybody an awesome and most fantastic second half of the week!