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Sunday, October 18, 2015

Bag of mixed news



There are positive news in this entry, and I even mention TTWD again. Finally. Nevertheless, the day was still a rather mixed one. We had a family meeting which was lovely, but I spent early morning with granny and today that was really hard.


Granny
Granny’s is still fighting, and even though I don’t want to see it, her fight is harder than ever. She is the one who taught me most about not giving up, and she shows me how this works till the end. Writing this with the picture of her in hospital is so hard, I'd love her to be good again. Oh heck. She is so small in this bed, she looks so lost there. I went there early in the morning together with Tilda and today seeing granny like that hit me so hard that I just sat there and focused on breathing, so that my sobs would not alarm my little one too much.  I don’t know, I have been so uneasy when I went to hospital during the last week, but today was so sad that it hurt to have not one reaction from her side. This is so sad. :( I am sorry for the downer, I know that many of you are dealing with the same or similar situations. I wish you all the strength you need and the best possible outcome; something that makes the pain and grief bearable.






Sister, the car, Amy and I
Maybe I am also frustrated because I am sort of almost grounded when it comes to driving. Sister has been back home for the last few weeks, not on bed rest anymore, but only allowed to move a bit and not do much of the housework. So I took over for a while. Until last weekend …
Hubby has decided to limit the time I am allowed to visit my sister to not more than two times a week - and only when the weather is good enough. I can phone her all day long, but not go there by car, because one tour takes around an hour, so that makes two hours when I go there, in addition to going to granny or grocery shopping, going to the doctor’s and other things.

I am not even miffed because I know hubby is right, especially now since the roads have become slippery at times. In addition I do not want to drive that much if possible (yep, I really mean it!), and sitting behind the wheel too long does not feel good anymore either, that's why I am almost fine with this. But it feels like I let my sister down. She understood, and I believe her, so there is no grudge or anything, but I would have loved to help more. 




Amy shares half the driving with me now, because whenever she can, she comes with me to see granny, and afterwards we try to get back into town where I can help my sister then. Amy has expressed her displeasure of doing that at all, which is only because she worries that I might do too much. I promised to be careful, but it will not be much longer till she stops me for good. 
Hehe, she is not my nanny, but she is extremely convincing and my trust in her is too big not to do as she wants. Not to create the wrong impression, I am listening to my body and I do feel a little less nimble, which is ok, as I do not under any circumstances want to do anything that could harm baby.



Baby
Since I do not blog much at the moment (although I’d love to!) I rarely have a chance of doing my pregnancy countdown …. I am already in week 28!?! Whoa that was fast!

Seriously, I have already seen that this last year passed quickly, after all Tilda has already had her first birthday party! Her first birthday, imagine that, and there are moments when I do not know what I did in this year. Somehow it really feels more like Tilda was born a few days ago, and suddenly baby sweetie has grown and we are week 28 again?! Wow.

So, even  though I had a gloomy start into this entry, just thinking about my little one and her little brother or sister makes me smile. There are the pangs of sadness when I wish for granny to see Tilda play, to touch my bump, to have time with us, but for me, those two sweet little cuties mean the world and help me go through rough days like this one. And granny loves baby news. Knowing that helps me, at least sometimes. 





I do not know whether we will have a boy or a girl. Hubby would like a boy, though more because he wanted to tease me a little after I have said that I am almost sure we’ll have a little girl again. LoL, I cannot even say why, maybe it is because her kicks feel just like those I got from Tilda. Not surprising, is it? :) Baby has her own rhythm, she is more active when I go to bed and early in the morning. So, we do have our bonding time then, though less often on the sofa than I’d like to.
On another positive note I am pretty happy that there are only few pregnancy-related problems that I have to deal with. Ok, the loo needs to be close, but the only things that are not too awesome are a lot of heartburn and sometimes insomnia. Sounds familiar, and I think I handle both rather well at the moment. :)




TTWD
Woohoo, finally I have TTWD in my blog again. But that does not really mean a lot, because dd is pretty limited for us at the moment. I mean, hubby is HoH, he decides, and he really does. He keeps an eye on me, I think he has noticed that there have been times after returning either from granny or sister when I was not like myself. I literally got some quiet time then, not like being in the corner, just a quiet thirty minutes to breathe, be a little sad, calm down, just take my time on the sofa or in the bedroom.
But somehow he has given me a lot of room in other situations, too. I am glad about that, because there have been moments when I was maybe tired, or simply over-emotional, and he has definitely warned me more than he would have done in non-pregnant times. I am grateful for that. Maybe it is just my lack of concentration, but I have had moments where I really did not know how to act the right way, it was like I just forgot completely. Probably doesn’t make sense to anybody, but I appreciate that hubby did not take away privileges and instead told me what I did, which was enough for me to be embarrassed. He didn’t always keep me out of the corner though. I have been a wee bit too liberal with some information online for his taste, so hubby was really vexed and in a way the only reason why he did not take away my online time was that I don’t have much time to be online anyway due to our current situation. However, I should better be careful, or else …. .









Just because ...

 
 

 Wishing you all a wonderful week with a lot of love.





18 comments :

  1. Thanks for the update...sorry about your granny, I do know how hard that is....
    28 weeks already...almost in the home stretch!
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Hi Abby, thank you for commenting. I know I am late in my reply, but things have been crazy and busy. :) By now, week 33 is almost there, sister is home, much better, can do a few chores, too. So, things are improving with her again. That means I find time for baby bump bonding. :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  2. Thanks for checking in Nina. Happy to hear you and baby are doing well...sorry about your granny...that is so painful. Isn't there anyone else (family or friends) that can go help your sister? What about your mother? Can she help your sister? What about your sister's in-laws? Hugs, kisses and tummy tickles to Tilda from auntie Cat and ask Tilda to give mommy a big hug from auntie Cat. Sending lots of prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    Replies
    1. Hi Cat, sorry for being late with my reply. Baby is doing great, sister is home safely and can do a few of the chores there too. The rest of the family has stepped up, which was good and needed. I have permission to go there once a week, not more often, because it takes a while on the road. My two personal body guards (hubby and Amy) do not allow more than that. I agree with them, though, as it doesn't feel good anymore to drive much, and sometimes I don't feel too well lately and then doing the chores around our house is all I manage (if at all). I have given Tilda kisses and tummy tickles repeatedly from you, just to make sure. :) She hugs me a lot too, which is awesome. :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  3. Don't apologise for feeling sad, you've every right to feel down and if coming here and writing helps, then you'll get lots of hugs in reply. Keeping your granny in my thoughts.
    28 weeks! It's always the case that other pregnancies go quicker than your own! I'm glad hubbie is taking good care of you.
    Bladder... urgh yes, remember that!

    hugs
    DF

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    Replies
    1. Hi DF, since granny's condition has not changed, this is something that is wearing me down a lot at times. I have had some pretty bad moments when seeing her, but since I have a little more time again for her, it has become easier to cope with her situation too. Don't know if that makes sense. Since I am so late with my reply, almost another month has passed and I am close to week 33! ... Some of the third trimester pregnancy symptoms included. Not nice when they happen, but actually they show me that all is good. :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  4. Hi Nina, it's great to hear from you, thank you for the update. I'm so sorry to hear about Granny, it is hard and my thoughts are with you.

    So glad you and baby are doing well. Wow, 28 weeks! Sounds as though your husband is taking great care of you, and that Amy is too :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Hi Roz, there is no major change in granny's situation, which is kind of good news, maybe. The better news are about sister being better, Yay! Oh, and hubby and Ami do take care, they are special and most awesome (and sometimes a little restrictive :) ).

      hugs

      Nina

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  5. Hi Nina, :) Always nice to hear from you!

    28 weeks! How wonderful! You are getting there. Tilda's sweet little sib is growing well. Sounds like you have such a good hubby helping you to take care of yourself through a lot of stress around you. That is the best thing ever!

    I'm so so sorry about your visit with your Granny, as well as her condition. I know all about it Nina. It is very hard to have someone that you love so much here, but no response and really not here. It is a place between worlds almost, and the pain just lingers and lingers. Most especially it is tough when you are right there with them. It is a heartbreaker when I am with Mom. Even when I am not. I feel for you. Share any time. That is what friends are for. I'm sending you the biggest of hugs and a little teeny tiny Tilda squeeze as we do it! You have been in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love, Katie

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    1. Hi Katie, my bump keeps growing nicely, and I am glad that I have hubby and Amy who take care where I might sometimes overdo things. I love them and know that I am blessed to have them in my life.
      Granny's situation has not changed much, though there have been moments when we thought her fight would be over. She keeps going. Yes, I think I get you with the place between worlds, and this is heartbreaking for me. I'd love her here with us of course, or in a place where she'd have no worries, no pain, but now?! Ew, it makes me feel heartless when I write it this way, but I don't want her to suffer, because I love her. So, we go to see her, we touch her, talk to her and do what we can to make her feel better and to show her we are there. That is what we can do, and I wish it was more. Thank you for the hugs and Tilda squeeze, she got that, more than once! :)

      hugs and love

      Nina

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  6. Oh Nina darling, how sad about your granny. It is overshadowing all the good things at the moment and that must be so hard.
    How fast has this pregnancy gone though, wow 28 weeks, soon be here. I hope Tilda had a lovely birthday, how quickly she has got to her first Birthday!! Glad to hear your sister is better, don't feel bad that you can't help her more, she is going to have to turn to others for a little while.
    I think a bit of quiet time in or out of the corner sounds nice and peaceful, I think I would just enjoy it before you are running round after two babies!! :)) Hug to Tilda.x
    love Jan,xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jan, the granny posts are not really positive, are they? And you are right, her suffering casts a shadow on many things here. However, Tilda, hubby and Amy are there and they make things much easier, just like granny's own attitude helps, because she has always been so positive towards life. So, we try to follow that and get the best out of our days. Well, not always easy, though. :( At Tilda's birthday we had a small party, because she doesn't understand too much of it yet, but it was fun for all of us; family get-together with (too) many presents. If she gets just as many cuddly toys for Christmas I'll have trouble finding her among them. :)
      Sister is so much better by now, which is the greatest relief for all of us. I mean, it went from 'her little one could be born far too early' to 'baby will remain where she is and you can even do a little of the chores at home'. We are all happy about that, these are great news and it makes everything much better. She gets help from all others and I still go and see her once a week, but not more. I think if I tried more either hubby or Amy would take away my keys, probably also tie me to some bedpost, or keep me in the corner. :) I have been awfully good, so almost no cornertime lately, but I think sometimes it is good, especially since I cannot get a spanking. Cornertime with a kindle sounds even better! :) Baby and I have had a little bonding time over the last days, in a way, it was quiet time too, and I loved it. These moments have been scarce for a long time, so I am glad to have them now. Thinking of you (and I am sorry for my late reply).

      hugs and love

      Nina

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  7. Nina hello,

    It's good to hear from you and to read you and baby are doing well. Sounds like hubby is looking after you. Sorry about your granny,

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ronnie, baby and I are doing well, and hubby is one major reason for that. I wish granny's situation were better, or different, but we go through the days and try to be our best. It is what she wants too.

      hugs

      Nina

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  8. I'm so sorry about your granny!
    I'm glad things are going well in your pregnancy. Glad hubby is making sure you are well taken care of.
    Several young ladies are pregnant at work and I picture you through them!
    Give Tilda hugs!

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    1. Hi Minelle, thank you, I wish granny's situation were different. Baby is growing nicely, and now more than ever hubby makes sure I get my time for bonding and resting a little more. Oh, several pregnant ladies? That is wonderful. This is such an exciting and awesome time, waiting for babies, seeing the bump grow and finally holding the little bundle of joy. :) I love that so much. Thank you for the hugs, safely delivered, more than once. :)

      hugs

      Nina

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  9. So good to hear from you again, and 28 weeks already, that goes by fast (from my perspective :D).
    Sorry to hear about your granny, but you are there and I think that means a lot to her.

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    1. Hi Julia, since I have been so late in replying, almost another month has passed. :) Round I am. Yes, granny's situation is not good, but we do all to make her feel better, and maybe she knows we are there for her. I hope that.

      hugs

      Nina

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