This is
only a short update on what’s currently going on around us. I am not sure what
to make of how I feel, I really am confused … yep more than usual. We
are still not in a good place, and in addition to our deepest sorrows about
granny, my younger sister has been brought to hospital at the weekend. :( She
is pregnant too, only two weeks further than I, and she has had contractions
and is slightly dilated. What makes me really angry is that she has taken a lot
of time before she finally told her husband that maybe she should go to
hospital, only after things started to intensify. (I learned this part of the story only today) AAAAAHH!!!! I found that
risky, but then again, maybe that is only due to the miscarriages I had before
Tilda. As some of you know, I go the other way and phone my doc more often than I need to.
I love my
sister, but this is where I had thoughts of spanking her. However the good news
is that her little one is ok; due to the medication in hospital the
contractions have been reduced, almost stopped. The doctors have not decided
yet whether she has to stay in bed till giving birth.
So, let’s
see … we have my younger sister in
hospital in Hamburg, but her baby and she will be fine we think. Then we have
granny in hospital outside the city, the place where she wants to be for her
last journey. I still can’t say it. I am shaking my head about all this and
feel helpless.
Since
Sunday my mom is a mess because she is afraid now that my sister might have a miscarriage
because it seems to run in the family. She forgets that my older sister had no
problems ever. And according to the doctors there is no immediate danger for my
younger sister of losing her baby either. So, my mom is currently more
irrational than I am. A rare occurrence. I still don’t like being without Tilda,
but I have given her to my mom for a few hours, while I was visiting granny and
my sister in one morning. It made things easier for me, it made my mom happier,
and in a way, I had a quiet time for the first time in days, with Amy gone for
a few days, and hubby working. No other relatives were around, no friends either,
because I had not bothered to call anybody. Nevertheless, I cannot even say
that I enjoyed this alone time. It was good to see that my sister was ok, but
obviously my mood is not at an all-time high.
The weird
thing is that my mood concerning granny has improved a lot, once I learned
that my sister and her baby would be fine. I don’t know if that is good though.
I love granny, seeing her motionless makes me sad, and I have not told granny
about my sister. I mean, maybe I should, and I would, if I had hopes that it
would wake her up again. My love for granny is where it always was, however
yesterday, and even more so today, seeing her like this did not hit me as hard
as it often did before. I don’t believe I am losing my love for her, but I feel
cold from this happening and don’t like it. I don’t know what to make out of
this really. Did I mention that I am confused?!
granny likes angels
Anyways,
Wishing you
all a great week, and I simply hope that there will be nicer news soon.
I’d love to
have good things happen here,
and I’d
love to have good things happen to you.
P.S. Jan, I
did not forget answering your mail, it was just a little busy, I’ll get to it
as soon as I can. <3
