Laugh out loud!

You should be able to laugh a lot, especially when you are in a relationship. I think this is so important in a relationship and there is a difference between being dedicated and serious about common goals and not being able to have a good laugh, either about yourself, your partner or about the two of you together. One of the few things that I try hard never ever to forget, is that we are only human. For me it is very important to know this line, because it comes quite handy in some situations as a good excuse too. :) I mean so many people are only out on being perfect. Perfect looks, perfect partner, perfect job, perfect attitudes, perfect behaviour. All the time? Come on, I wouldn't believe a word of that. Everybody is smelly now and then, everybody is moody now and then, everybody makes mistakes. That's what too many keep forgetting and they shouldn't.

Humour and the ability to laugh about yourself and your partner can solve many problems. I think that hubby sometimes has his lenient moments with me because of that. I mean, if anything can go wrong, it goes wrong, at least this is the feeling that I have. Whenever I have tried to be cool, I failed. I am just not cool. Well, some people are simply from the other side and have to learn to live with that. :) And then there is hubby, who is the coolest man on earth for me. When he puts on sunglasses, he does it in a cool way, and looks cool with them.

Yeah, and when I try to do that, I break the sunglasses. Or they get caught in my hair. Don't ask why, I don't know. But if I finally have sunglasses on, I don't look cool either. When I am lucky, I can look cute, but cool? No way José! Uhm, this doesn't mean that I do not try now and then. The example with the sunglasses was from last week, because the weather had turned into sunny  and warm. I failed again.

So, little Miss Clumsy could sulk and blame others for all that happens around her. Or she could laugh about it and try again next time. I think I have written more than once that I am not really the one who should give any sort of advice, but I know that for us, laughing is like medicine. In my case, it reduces frustration a lot, obviously. :)

If you have a relationship with your partner where both of you can laugh, about yourself and each other, then there is something really healthy in it.  You have some kind of good connection. You probably also have the right attitude about some things in life, e.g. I think that those who can laugh about themselves are not arrogant people. To think that one is better than the other is horrible and if you know that you might leave a damp spot where you sit, just like everybody else, it has a very humbling effect. Laughing helps!

Rambling, cake, sisters

Sorry about this round of rambling. Actually I think I have written worse things here than this text, but I needed that now. Baby and I are fine, but I am currently feeling somehow overloaded with restlessness. This is Easter Sunday 2014, we have had a lovely day with the family. I had time to practice child care with my three nieces, egg hunting and division of loot included. Everything was fantastic, we were busy in the best ways you can imagine. Until my younger sister needed to tell me that I had gained weight, my cheeks looked fuller. Yes, that was what I really wanted to hear in that moment GRRRRRR. Of course, I was eating a piece of cake then, too, but suddenly felt not hungry any longer. She knew immediately afterwards that she had blundered and did her best to make up for it, but in that moment, I was really angry. Not sort of angry, no, really angry. Sisters... . But she is nice and lovely otherwise! And by now I can laugh about that again. Hubby said the face I made then was worth all the trouble, according to him I looked as if I'd throw the piece of cake in her face and/or cry. Honestly, I had considered both options in that moment.

The Easter fun corner:

One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
'Oh my word, thank you,' said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,' said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'
'Yes, that's true.' St Peter rejoined, 'But during your Easter sermons people slept.  When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'



Young Ernie and his family were invited to have Easter Sunday lunch at his grandmother's house in Monkey's Eyebrow, Arizona. USA. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Ernie received his plate he started eating straight away.
'Ernie, wait until we say grace,' demanded his father.
'I don't have to,' the five year old replied.
'Of course you do, Ernest,' his mother insisted rather forcefully. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'
'That's at our house,' Ernie explained, 'but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook.'

(source:  http://www.guy-sports.com/funny/christian_easter_jokes.htm)

I wish everybody HAPPY EASTER 

That's so cute!

If you need a little bit of romance, watch this!

I loved it :-)



If you want to see some wild cute meerkats instead, watch this!
They are so cute!


If you ever wanted to be a Director of Operations, oh, and there is more behind it than the title says, watch this!

Sara's little boxes, Sherlock Holmes and my 2 cents

Oh no, another one of those dreaded lists. :) Actually the reason behind writing this down is based on Sara's very poetic 'tidy little box' - entry  and on the pictures she used there. There were different boxes, a neat one, some looking quite used and ragged and there was even one with cats in it. Some of you maybe remember that. So, I imagine that an old and ragged looking box has had a long journey, just like everybody hopefully has a long journey through life and will probably look a bit ragged and wrinkled. I still love the idea that Sara created with it.

I am sorry that I cannot give you the link, since Sara's blog is not there any longer. Well, obviously, this list has been in the making for a few days. I had almost forgotten about this but thought I'd rather finish it, instead of deleting the text.

Instead of musing about the reasons what kind of journey an old box has had through life, I'll try to give some ideas that we try to follow here, so  that we might earn our wrinkles and maybe look ragged when old, but are not torn apart like an old cardboard box.

These are some basics that we always thought were useful to adhere to. I don't say that anybody should follow them, but they have helped hubby and me.

1. One of the most important things is, be able to laugh about yourself. I mean, look at what you really do. How you react, roll your eyes, stomp your feet, say silly things though you mean them half way serious when they are said  and everything else. I am so sure that there is something funny now and then. When hubby and I talk about what has happened during the day, he sometimes makes me aware of such things, just as I do that with him.

2. Don't take everything too seriously. There has to be enough room for laughter. When we are with others, we want it to be enjoyable, a positive and friendly time. Teasing in a friendly way should have its place there, too.

3. Listen to your friends. ...if they are well-meaning friends, that is. This has been very important for me. They know more about what people are like than I'll probably ever learn.

4. Support your friends !!!!! Don't leave them alone when they need you most. Don't turn away just because of different opinions.

5. Listen to the sorrows that others have. Help them if you can, but don't get lost while you try to help. If you end up in  trouble as a result of helping others, something went wrong. Get support in time.

6. Make a positive difference in the life of someone else. This could be being a good friend or being a good parent. It could also be something completely different, like giving hope to someone in the right moment or giving a blanket to someone without a home, when it is cold outside. I guess the opportunities are endless. I like this idea a lot, because in a way it includes that maybe someone else, who you do not even really know, thinks about you and smiles out of joy. 

7. Keep your life simple. Haha, we are definitely talking from experience here, because hubby and I had complicated episodes in our lives. I mean, even now, it is complicated at times, but we try to spend time with friends and with each other, we do sports, but we are not trying to complicate matters by planning every minute away. We have limited time and try to make something out of it, but without creating stress. Try to achieve peace of mind, instead, and I think this does not work if you are over and over busy doing all sorts of things. I believe this is a simple recipe for a better life, but from our experience it is one of the most difficult things to achieve in a time where most jobs demand too much and many people have expectations that are simply too high.

8. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, but try to learn from them, too. I don't know if I am good at the learning part, but I have never been afraid to try things. Since I have this life only, I want to do things, I want to learn and am bound to fail now and then. My recommendation about that is: if you fail don't worry, especially don't worry about things you cannot change, but try again, try differently, and don't give up. It's your life and learning from mistakes makes you stronger.

9. Accept difference. This applies to different opinions, different lifestyles, clothes, whatever you see. I think that this one is often followed by people in blogland, especially those from Smacking Bottom. They don't judge people and they accept someone else's peculiarities easily. I am very grateful that there are so many different people, with different ideas and imagine how boring life would be, if all were the same. Therefore, I am grateful that life is colourful, because people are like that.

10. Learn to forgive. I think this is not always easy, because it does involve a lot of hurt feelings. Try to overcome that. Nevertheless, it is worth it. I think that forgiving creates a lot of peace. And I don't mean forgiving immediately. It may take a little time, but work on it. For me this is connected to getting rid of problems and troubles and that is a feel-good guarantee.

11. Don't forget to be humane. Don't be too hard on yourself because of making mistakes, and be lenient with others at times. I don't believe that it is necessary to smash anybody to pieces who makes a mistake. Instead, try to show sympathy and support. This will make a real difference.

There are definitely reasons why people are not open towards each other, and I understand that. But even then, there should be room to show that you care, or just be a little friendly. Most people need that and most also deserve that, until they prove the opposite, that is.Therefore, don't be a robot, because they don't have the emotional qualities of human beings.

I think that most of the people out there try hard to live a decent life, and still, often enough I see that they are not happy. I don't mean that they are only unhappy in one moment, but some have this attitude of unhappiness, there is almost nothing that could please them, and if, then it is the failure of someone else. 

That's horrible, because I don't believe that anybody's pleasure should be connected to the failures of other people. Naive as I am, I believe that people could live together in a certain balance and if all were willing, they could live in harmony. Maybe I should know better, but I don't give up my hopes, because some others have. I have no advice that I could give, but the above points are pretty important for us and some have helped us a lot in the past. 

The philosophical part starts here:

 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip.

In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes."

"And what do you infer from these stars?"

"Well, a number of things," he says, lighting his pipe:

Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear.

Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant.

What about you, Holmes?"

"Watson, you fool. Someone has stolen our tent!"

Sure signs that you are pregnant :-)

1. You have just planned and paid your journey around the world

2. The BMI says your weight is currently ideal

3. You don't remember last night 

4. You can't see your feet while standing

5. Someone offers you a seat in public transport

6. Suddenly you like to eat icecream with cheese

7. Your boyfriend has said 'nothing can happen when you pull it out in time'

8. You believe in flowers and bees

9. Everybody wants to touch your belly, even strangers

10. You have naughty thoughts about your partner when he is away, and when he returns, it is all his fault

11. Gardening has a second meaning for you

12. You redecorate the toilet seat in your favourite colour because the bathroom is the place you spend most time of the day in

13. You have the pregnancy test and wish you were colour blind (that's mean)

14. You can't stand watching documentaries about whales

15. Your idea of a perfect party is a nap

16. You can spit like a Llama

17. Mosquitoes love you

18. The only thing you do not forget to do is eating 

19. You have Godzilla's hands and feet but are only 5 feet tall

20. You hope that your breasts will be like that forever

We have almost made it through week 15 :)

There's water?

Today has been long, I have been pretty busy and I really feel it ... and see it. Arrrgh, there's water in my legs, I mean a little more than usual. But not as I have seen in other pregnant women's legs and hands. Nothing to worry, though, for pregnants this is normal and if I stand most of the day, well, what else should happen?! This time it might just be the usual reaction after a long day without resting your feet for a moment.  And the good news is, often it starts only maybe around the middle of your pregnancy.

Therefore, I thought one or two ideas to help you cope with additional water might be neat.

1. Eat water melon. Not all the time, but as far as I know, it is a diuretic and might help to get rid of some water in your feet, legs or fingers. My problem with water melon is that I don't have to worry leaving the bathroom at all then. Therefore, my idea was to put a huge pile of magazines next to the loo, because the number of bathroom visits in a day is never-ending.

2. If you feel your face is slightly swollen, e.g. around the eyes, well, yes, you are right. :) I have not yet talked to my doc about it, but two of my friends have said that this became better when they slept with their head and upper body only slightly higher than before. I haven't tried it yet, but will tell you soon.

3. Making circle moves with your arms or legs can help a lot, too. And don't forget to remove your rings early enough, before the fingers are swollen and it has become impossible to do so. :-) I look at my fingers every morning, take my marriage ring off and then put it back on. But I have a little necklace for my marriage ring and will wear it as a little pendant, if necessary.


4. Since water can be a major problem in your legs, resting the legs higher can be very useful, too.

Bonding

I have not consciously felt any kicks yet, but that's pretty normal. I have seen baby kick, but not felt it yet. Maybe I have and thought it was gas? I don't know. 

Nevertheless, since baby is there, I have started talking to her. Uhm I don't do it when I am with others, apart from good friends, because they understand me, and that I want to bond to baby. Well, they also know that I am queer, so there is no reason for me, to hide anything. But there is another reason, though I have not made sure if it is true: somebody has found out that talking to babies inside moms has a positive effect on their language skills. Since we hope that baby will be better in English and German than mommy and daddy, I better talk a lot to baby. I guess it is similar to the beneficial effect that music has on babies.

The magical barrier

Hey, baby and I have made it almost through week 15 so far and we feel good and I mean really good, like in excellent.  Chances go up with every passing day, there are no medical problems so far and although I still have an uneasy feeling now and then, we are very hopeful, that all will be good for us this time. 

I am not really able to talk much  about my miscarriages, and don't want to, especially not in these months, but if anything, I can tell you that just mentioning it, has become a lot easier recently. Since we are rather positive and the doubts and fears recede more and more into the background, I sort of hope that this time all will be well, because even though everybody says time is a healer, it has been a really slow one for me in the past. But being able to talk about our lost children without being thrown into crisis, is an achievement.

The magic date for us is in two days, when we have passed that, we enter completely new territory and hope that all will end well for baby. That's all we want, it is all that matters.

Semantics

Baby=her? It is simply easier to write for me that way. We don't want to know baby's gender before she's (<-lol) there. If it is a girl fine, a boy? Just as fine. Healthy baby? Perfect!

You didn't go there, wearing these colours, did you?

When Sue had married Martin, she knew that he'd travel a lot, because he was still doing military service. His last tour was meant to end that summer. He had been abroad for long and they only met when he returned for his holidays. He'd even build his future during these short times. But soon they would spend the rest of their lives together. She wanted to collect him on his way back home. They would meet in Belfast and get away from there. She had friends in Belfast. This would be the third year in a row that she would see them. They were Catholics, but that didn't matter to her. She was not interested in these details.

She was not Catholic, and in Belfast that could be good or bad, depending on which side of the pavement you chose to walk on. But she didn't know about that and wouldn't have cared, if she had. Maybe ignorance was her second name, maybe it was trust in the good will of people. All that she had to know was that she could feel safe, because she was only a tourist in this city. She'd be fine.

Sue remembered some of the stories Martin had told her, where people got hurt, soldiers, civilians from both sides and the people he called 'the others'. He had told her that times have become better in Ulster and there were less people killed every year. She had remembered that each time she had visited, there were some reports about bombs and violence. She had never had problems in Belfast, but then again, she was not English. Even though this peace had already lasted six years, she knew that being English was still like a crime in some quarters of the city. The people from Belfast listened to what someone said, no, they listened to how you'd say things, they listened for the sound of what you'd say. They'd hear whether you were Lancashire or Yorkshire, Dublin, Derry or Kent. Then they decided what you were, friend or foe. English or not. For the Union or against it. These questions  still mattered in some quarters of the city. Sue knew that, because Martin had given her instructions where never to go. 'Don't tell anybody that you know a soldier. Never ever tell your Belfast friends about my job.' She had promised and stuck to that. The only two who knew were her two friends, whom she trusted. I think Sue trusted everybody, but Martin had told her never to reveal anything concerning him. It might kill her and him. 

The evening before she would meet Martin in an unconspicuous pub near Queen's University, she had been out with her two friends. They had this queer look when she came to the nice little pub in one of the less wealthy streets of town. Maybe this was one of the streets where she should not be, but nevertheless Sue had enjoyed the stroll through the streets,  as she went to the pub. She enjoyed to see kids play, she watched those murals and wanted to memorize all she could, because she already knew that she would not be back to Belfast for a long time. The thought saddened her, because she would not see her friends again, maybe for years.

It was warm, it was pleasant, but everybody looked at her, as if she was an alien. Well, she was, she didn't live here. Some brawny men had looked at her with contempt. Did she hear rude comments? But they did not stop her, though their eyes followed her as she went along the little working class houses. She thought they were strange, but didn't care, when she finally had reached the little pub where she'd meet her friends. As she entered, it became noticeably quieter. As if a  gush of cold air had entered with her. Someone held a drunk man at the bar who was waving a bottle into her direction, as if he wanted to fight her, out of all people. Many eyes followed her, when she came in and went to meet her friends. Yes, and they had this queer look. "You didn't come here dressed like that!" Sue was surprised. "What do you mean? What's wrong?" She had no idea. The answer came with a very low voice "Sue, you look like a walking Union Jack. You are dressed in Unionist colours from head to toe. Are you mad!? In this street that could mean trouble. You are lucky to be still in one piece!" Sue didn't know what her friend meant. She liked blue and white and the red was not too much, it was only a little bit. "Give me your jacket. You can't wear it here. It's dangerous." She gave her friend the jacket and found an overdimensional crocheted cap in her hand. "Wear this one. They are the right colours. Nobody will ask questions if you wear this." Sue made a face as if she'd had been bitten. "But the colours don't match with my dress." She put the cap on. The noise rose again in the pub. When she went home later, she had the cap on. She still felt the eyes, or at least she imagined that they were there. Some men stood at the street corners, eyeing her conspicuously. 

The next morning she woke up and was over-excited. 'Martin, I can't wait to see you. We will be on our way home by tomorrow morning', she thought. Sue dressed, and this time she'd make sure her colours matched. She knew where she could spend the afternoon, before she would meet Martin in the evening. She went through the streets, and again she felt eyes on her. But why? She was not even close to the quarters where they had eyed her so suspiciously yesterday. She'd worn the cap she had got almost all day long. It had been warm for her, but she kept it on, because she didn't want to end up in trouble. And still, the people looked at her in a rather hostile way. Strange, this was the first time ever she had felt that here. Somewhere behind she heard a bottle of glass crash on the pavement. 'Silly kids' she thought and went on happily.

In the evening she went to meet Martin in the pub, finally. Before she went there, she'd made sure her colours would match nicely. As she came closer to the club, she could see some men with beer glasses in their hands, rise. All eyes were on her, not really as friendly as most people looked at her usually. The men all had short hair. 'Military', she thought. She was in the right place. Those men were dressed like civilians, but she knew what they were. Some wore T-shirts that barely hid their tattoos. It looked as if they wouldn't let her enter the pub. "Ey, what do you want here, get lost!" She was pushed away from the entrance. "Let me in, my husband is in there!" The huge man made big eyes. Obviously, he did not believe a word of what she had said. Compared to his size, she looked like a child. He eyed her from head to toe and grabbed her handbag. "Let me see if you have a package in there." Sue let it happen. She did not even protest. If she wanted to get in there, she'd better let him do that. This guy was not alone and some others looked at her with contempt. She had no idea why this could be. They were Martin's colleagues, weren't they? They should be on friendly terms with her. Sue frowned when the brute had finished searching her bag, but had found nothing. 'What had he expected? A bomb? Idiot'. Finally they let her in.

Martin sat inside, in the back. When he saw Sue, he choked on his beer. She grinned and went to his little corner. Martin was not amused as he stood up and let her sit down. "Sue, what are you doing?!" Was that a  question? No greeting? She was not sure what he meant. "I went shopping along Shankill Road. But the people were queer today, very unfriendly. Just like here." She showed to the door. "They wouldn't let me in and searched my bag." Martin smirked lightly. "You bet they did. You say Shankill Road? But you don't tell me that you went there in these clothes, do you?" She looked down her white blouse. "No, I changed for the evening, but the colours were the same." Martin almost choked again as he shook his head. "You didn't go along Shankill Road wearing t h e s e colours, did you?" Sue frowned. She didn't understand anything. "Sure I did. My friends told me that I should wear this cap to avoid problems with the local people." "Sue,  these are republican colours. You are wearing green, white and orange while you walk along a Unionist road and here, in a Unionist pub. This is outright dangerous. You are lucky that you are still in one piece. I can't believe that you provoked everyone for hours and you can still walk. Your guardian angel has worked overtime today." Sue was completely puzzled. "Give me this cap and take my jacket.  Let's get out of here, before anybody is too drunk to stop themselves from teaching you a lesson. That's my part, in my hotel room." Sue did as told. She had no idea. As Martin said his goodbyes to his colleagues, she waited, embarrassed as they looked at her, some with disgust in their eyes. Martin alleviated the hostility that the men had developed against Sue by spending them all a round of beer. Then the two of them went to the hotel. 

This was not what she had anticipated. She felt embarrassed, because she had disappointed Martin so much. It was dangerous? She didn't get it. Darn politics. Sue felt that Martin was angry with her, seriously. As he closed the door of their room behind him, her shoulders slumped forward, because she felt under pressure. Martin came close and turned her to face him. "Sue, I love you. If anything had happened today, I would never have forgiven myself. I am glad and happy that you are here in one piece, alive." She thought that he had taken her rather dangerous mistake pretty well. She  had hoped too early, though. "But for what you did today, I am going to spank you soundly. Your life was in real danger. You did  not see that, but that was only because you have been completely thoughtless. It could have killed you. I cannot stand this thought. Undress. Now!" He had taken her by surprise with that. She made big eyes as she looked at Martin, but he was serious. She had been punished before and she dreaded what was going to happen. Martin could spank really hard, if he felt he had to. And one look in his face told Sue that this was one of those times. He'd teach her to listen closely. Darn politics. Darn thoughtlessness. Slowly Sue undressed.

As she stood there in his hotel room, naked, she watched him look at her for a long moment. He sat on the bed, while she stood there. She felt her vulnerability more consciously than she had for a long time. Her head bent slightly forward, unvoluntarily. "Martin, I am really sorry. I didn't know that I had made a mistake." Martin breathed in audibly. "God, Sue, you are so beautiful, you know what I'd like to do with you now. But this is not a little mistake. You blundered completely. Even your two Catholic friends could be in real trouble because they have been seen with you. This is very serious and you'll listen better in the future. Believe me. Come here, hands on the bed and stand still."

Sue did as told. she stood there, bent forward and listened what sound would follow. Martin couldn't possibly have brought implements here? Into the hotel? He was out of his barracks the first night. She heard the familiar sound of his belt. Ah, so this is what it would be. Secretly she had hoped that she'd only receive a spanking by hand.  He'd do that with her over his lap. It was intimate and even during punishment, she felt better over his lap. Standing, bent down, was somehow more distanced for her. When that happened, Martin was seriously angry. But she had seen that he had also been afraid. Not for himself, no, for her. Sue bent down over the bed and felt her first tear fall. She had not been punished yet, but she was angry with herself and sad, because she had endangered her friends and disappointed Martin. He could have left her with that thought. It was punishment enough. Hiss, the belt struck for the first time. Sue could barely hide a smile,  a very distorted one, though. She needed this now. It was her ticket out of guilt and frustration. This had become crystal clear with the first pain she received. She noticed Martin saying something to her "...listen carefully next time." Hiss, the belt struck again. Sue felt her face redden, she felt as if she had no air left 'Boy, this is really rough' she thought and tried to focus on Martin's words "People have been killed here for less", swat, swat, swat. Sue let her head fall down, because she felt so miserable by now. But still, the burning pain was something she embraced in this moment. She cried, she let her frustration go. Swat, swat, swat. Slowly she found peace. Swat, swat, swat. She did not move, her sense of time was lost. Her mind was focused on the pain and then it had ended. Why did it stop? Were her tears empty? She didn't move, because Martin had not said so. She blinked her eyes open, saw where her tears had drenched the blanket. As she drifted back into reality, she noticed far more how much her bottom burned. She felt so raw that she knew she would not sit properly for days. If anything, she'd have a good reminder to listen closely to what Martin had to say. "Stand up, Sue." Sue did as told and turned around to face Martin. 'His voice is still stern.' She was not sure whether she should look him in the eyes or only be embarrassed. No, she had received her punishment. So, this was over. She looked up. New tears welled up in her immediately. 'His eyes looked worried. ' Sue tried to speak, but could only mumble her "thank you", as her tears drowned everything else. Martin pulled her closer and kept her in his arms. She snuggled as deep as possible into his embrace and lost track of time again. The next time she moved, it was already dark. They must have stood there for ages. Sue felt exhausted. She felt the heat in her bottom, his embrace and a gentle, welcome cool breeze. In the dark, she looked up at him and gave him a faint smile. Martin took her, put her into the bed and she fell asleep before he had covered her under the blanket.

Instead of going to bed, he switched on the tv-news. "...road two people died in a bomb attack this evening ..." Martin switched the tv off again, looked at Sue for a very long moment and put his black bagpack next to his side of the bed. "Tomorrow we are out of here", he said quietly. Still dressed, he lay down next to Sue.

Some of you know what's going on with me, when I write such things; this here definitely is a distraction from different things, and writing this way is a first-timer.

I am not good at politics, though I think I got the basic idea of political factions in Ulster somehow right. For me it is complicated stuff. Nevertheless, I apologize if I offended some by appearing partial. I wanted a certain point of view only as part of the plot, not to belittle or demean any political opinion at all.

Sara, are you ok?

Hi Sara, I don't have your email, therefore I'll try this way.

At the moment I really hope so much that all is well with you, because somehow I cannot reach your blog any longer, I only get a message that it is gone. :(

I think sometimes they are just computer problems or something like that and hopefully you and your blog are back again soon. I would really love that so much.
And I hope writing this is ok, first of all, because I don't want to appear nosy or intrude on things that are none of my business. (That's why I usually don't use emails to contact bloggers in blogland).

But, I really must admit that this sudden vanishing leaves me pretty pretty worried. I try to use British understatement here, but at the moment I am so absolutely worried about you and your well-being that any kind of message is welcome, just to know that you are ok.

I am really sorry if I make such a fuss about this. So, please, Sara, if possible, just leave some kind of message saying that things are somehow ok.

And if there is anything I can do to help, let me know that, too, please!


Please, try to leave an email: awesome.sub@web.de


big hugs and love

Nina

News from the loo-natic

So, this is something I really should have mentioned earlier. I think I have written before that you should have panty liners with you. I forgot to mention one little bit. Wherever you go, go to the loo before you leave the house, even if you went only a short time earlier !

There are more news concerning the loo – topic. I have not taken this one piece of advice from my mom and at least three good friends seriously until it was too late …. . Wherever you are, go find the bathroom first! Actually, now that I had a little accident of this kind in town, I’ll definitely plan my next tour through town, not according to what I need to buy, though. Instead I’ll make a loo-hoping tour and see what of the things I need to buy I can get near the loo I have in reach. This is another moment where I am glad my mom does not read this here, btw.  Why do I end up with these things happening to me? Is it in the genes?

Now for something bathroom-free. A friend of ours has told that she had written down much of what she had experienced and felt during her pregnancy. She said that she has read a few times in it during the last years and that she actually had no idea and no memory of what she had written down before. She forgot things. I mean, I know that being forgetful is said to be normal during pregnancy, but she said it was as if her own hand-written memories were completely new to her. She loved most of what she read there and was happy that she had her diary for the time afterwards. She wants to pass it on to her daughter when she is an adult.

Additional information that might please every pregnant woman in the third trimester, or before, if you feel like a giant pumpkin on legs: enjoy that you are not some kind of whale or dolphin, because their gestation period is between 17 to 19 months. Yeah, suddenly I feel really alleviated. :) Haha, I might look like a whale soon, though.

Reminiscing about maintenance spankings

We have never been the ones who did maintenance/therapeutic spankings every week at a fixed date and time. It was more like being spanked when either hubby decided it, because he saw I was tense or when I felt that I needed it. And currently I miss this sooo much. As usual, you understand better what you had, when it is gone. For once, I am not talking about the erotic notion spanking also has (everything has erotic notions for me at the moment). No, I am talking about the intimate connection we get from this kind of spanking, the communication that goes along with it and also the chance to find inner balance. It's the physical part that I want to feel, because that leads to everything else afterwards. 

Hubby would call me, he'd ask if everything was alright with me. Most times I'd say 'yes', because I am the last to recognize what's going on with me. He'd probe again. He'd sooner or later say that I had behaved as if I was under pressure, fidgety,  restless or troubled. This would let me stop. He'd give examples of what he had perceived. That's when I have a real chance to recognise what's going on. Most times I can see it then, and acknowledge that he is right. 'Yes, I have been troubled, because ....'.

He'd maybe nod, but I'd always get a gentle and compassionate hug and be caressed by him. He'd look me in the eyes and tell me to undress. 

You know, this is so different from punishment spanking. He is determined to do what it takes, but he'd be less resolute in the way he'd deal with me. Maybe because the situation is a less tense one, compared to punishment. During punishment, I'd rather avoid anything to make hubby cross with me, in maintenance, this is not an issue at all. It's difficult to describe, maybe it is the way he looks at me too. For punishments hubby could easily put on his 'don't mess with me, girl'  look. Very strict and stern and it has the desired effect on me. He wouldn't use that on me for maintenance/therapeutic kinds of spankings. (But his stern look is so sexy, too)

Well, I would undress, get the arnica, sometimes a hairbrush, and wait until hubby would tell me to get over his lap. We would have it long and slow. :) Hubby would give me time to get accustomed to the growing sting. We'd communicate throughout most of the ride, though towards the end, I don't talk much. I fall silent, the more I have to focus on the growing stingy pain. Hubby would leave a few seconds inbetween spanks now and then, often he'd put his hand(s) on my bottom to feel what stage it has reached. He'd tell me about different shades of pink that I have on me then, too. 'Please, don't rub', is something hubby would hear me say during maintenance. Putting his hands on my bottom is fine, but don't rub, please.

While I'd say my bottom feels as hot as chilli, he'd probably tease me a little 'No, sweetie, it is still feeling rather cold, barely warmed yet and the night is still young...' I don't see his face then, but I can hear him grinning. But still, he'd listen closely to me. I know that and he'd stop in time. But what time? Usually he waits until I cry. It is the good kind of crying, it means release. Oh, and there have been a few times, when he said that it was enough spanking and I had not cried ... until I stood in front of him, naked and vulnerable. One look from him and his words "You have done well" or "good  girl" were all it took. I cried the good tears and felt so much relief. The heavy burden was gone. He pushes this heavy burden away from me, whereas I don't notice my burden, until he has dealt with it. He really knows me. 

Sometimes this might lead to romantic activities afterwards, because we'd end up in the bedroom anyway. Often enough it doesn't: we'd spend time together, talk, cuddle, caress. ... And I might fall asleep :) . It was a burden that hubby had taken away and it had taken time. After all this, I sometimes grew so tired as if I had not slept for ages. What counted then was, that I was not left alone. He was there and would see that I was alright. I'd fall asleep, exhausted, and the next morning would be a bright and friendly one for me, where I'd be full of energy and feel lively. And my bum would hurt. This would be a reminder, but a nice one for me. Sometimes I have had light bruises. Most bruising is prevented by arnica, but sometimes a little was still visible. I love that and when hubby was there, I'd try to parade them in front of him and he'd laugh. 

This is what I really crave at the moment. I know that hubby would love to have that back, too. Well, we'll wait and see when we can have it back. 'Not too early. Not before you are fine again', hubby  had said. Now it is spring. Well, maybe December? Christmas !

The car was not supposed to be there!

If you read something car-related in my blog, you can usually be sure that I did something wrong or report some of my old driving sins. Well, I am such a good girl momentarily - who is laughing there, stop that! - I really am, most of the time, that I really have to search a long way back for something stupid that I did. Yes, like, uhm, yesterday. And it is car-related, but not speeding, because I really am driving responsibly. Instead, I was not even in the car. Oh no, I don't have to be i n a car to create trouble with it.

So, it is gardening season. I mean real innocent gardening, in the garden, outside. No ulterior motives.  Hubby doesn't want me to carry anything, in this overprotective way. And I absolutely agree that I should not try to lift something that might be too heavy. I won't do that, but some old and dry branches are no problem for me. Kids can do that. Therefore, I took out our old wheelbarrow and put the branches into it. And I put a rake on top of everything. This was NOT heavy. It was less than a shopping bag. 

So far, my day had been great. It was almost warm, dry, sunny, the garden looked better than before and all I had to do was bring the old branches away. What I did not know was that hubby had already arrived and his car stood in front of the garage. And I came along the garage with my wheelbarrow. Hmmm, somehow I like things with wheels and pushing an old wheelbarrow around in warm spring weather is great, especially when you have lots of urges and too much energy. 

Well, I didn't know hubby was there and had no idea that the car would be waiting around the corner. Did I mention that there was a long rakestick protruding to the front? So, where I'd go, the stick would always be first, e.g. if I turned around the corner. First the end of the stick, then the rest of the wheelbarrow, then me. Before I saw hubby's car I had already heard this almost unfamiliar sound that you hear when you hit a car, e.g. with a long wooden rakestick. I really had no chance to see that silly car. It took a second before I had realized what was going on. I put everything aside and, yes, there was a little bump in the panel. That was when my day was already ruined. Usually I wouldn't really care too much about a little dent, but I found this time it was so unfair that it had happened. I had had no chance to prevent the rake from hitting, because I simply had not seen the silly car behind the corner.

The next thing I did was almost cursing; but only almost. Saying sugar! is allowed, even if it is said three times. I wondered where hubby might be. Usually he'd look for me, if I did not expect him home. Maybe he was still in the house. I thought better tell now than later and went around the corner, only to bump into hubby. He had come to look for me, and had already seen the wheelbarrow. Let's put it that way, he was not completely pleased with me moving it, but I swear it was only light weight. And we had not talked about these little things. If I could not even do some digging in the garden, I could also stay in bed till winter. Seriously, I wouldn't have done anything that could pose a threat to baby. 

Next he saw that look in my face. I was happy to see him, but I felt genuinely guilty because of the bump in the car. From bumping into his car to seeing him had maybe taken a minute, so I was still in a fluster because I had done something to a car - again. Yep, this is the moment everybody knows. You feel guilty and bad, so much that you can feel it in your body. This moment was worse than it should have been, because it was a little bump only. No reason to worry too much, but I actually felt very wobbly in this moment.

Hubby had not seen the bump yet, but it did not take a second for him to know something was going on and I was not well in that moment. Still, he hugged and greeted me and while he did that, he asked "Is everything ok with you? What's wrong?" I clung to him, because I had to. And....because  confessions feel better that way. I was still flustered and felt more nauseous than the last 14 weeks  but tried to be comprehensible. "I didn't know that you were back. I did not know that the car was there. It was not supposed to be there!" I think I made it sound like an excuse, which was the silliest thing for me to do. He looked up to the car, but he did not let me go. He really held me, probably because he had felt that I was pretty shaky. I am glad that he did it that way, because the whole affair suddenly felt less serious and I felt much better in his arms, too. I think  that he held me made a major difference because I could relax again. I pointed to the bump in the panel and he shook his head. He was not even annoyed, because such things could always happen. When I am around.

But he would not let me bring the wheelbarrow away. There were only some dry branches and a silly rake with a long stick in it. That's not heavy at all, every eight year old could carry that. And the silly car was not supposed to be there! I couldn't see it when I moved the wheelbarrow around the corner.

What? Punishment? Very funny. I'll be teased with that for ages, which is  more than enough. Hubby said that such little accidents could really happen and smugly added that those things would definitely happen with me around. He could laugh about that, but I was/am still a bit angry about myself.

And don't believe these small accidents could reduce my hormonally high sexdrive. Nope, I found my hands under hubby's shirt, because he had hugged me and that felt so good and right and I wanted skin contact. I wasn't even aware of what I did, until he asked me if I wanted to undress him completely. Outside, in the garden, next to the car. Well, this was not a genuine offer from his side, therefore it was not nice to raise any hopes and expectations in me. Instead he brought the wheelbarrow away and we went in. It was lunchtime and there was no time left for anything else then. I surely had hopes and ulterior motives after lunch, but combine that with hubby in a hurry and you see that the day was ruined, ... till after dinner. :)


Today, Thursday, the weather is nice, sunny, warm and I have hubby's expressed permission to use the wheelbarrow, if it is not loaded with much stuff. Therefore, I'll enjoy this afternoon outside.

Laughter

Sadie had this idea, to write about a funny event that we had, to be published on 1^st April or in April, to allow more bloggers to participate, under the title ‘Laughter’.

So, a few years ago, we went to the Baltic sea. It was a hot day, all we wanted, was to laze about and go swimming. I even had brought my new swimsuit. I had not worn it before, only tried it in the shop. It was white and I had only bought it because we had been in the sun so often that I had a nice tan and thought this would go well with a white swimsuit. Well, hubby said I looked great and I loved it, too. Ok, all things packed for lazy time. The beach was already pretty crowded when we arrived, but we found a nice spot in the sand. First, we tried the water but did not go into it. All was fine, and the hot weather was just right to get more of a tan and then, afterwards, I’d go swimming in the cool water. Hubby had been in once while I was still roasting. 

The second time, maybe an hour later, he would not accept a ‘no’ from my side. Lazy day or not, he wanted me in the water. So, we went into the water. After heating up it was a shock at first, but it felt great. We swam for quite some time, I think. We even caressed out in the deep water, and actually hubby could have seen the state of my swimsuit. He didn’t, maybe it was that it did not matter in the water. Finally I said that I’d go out again. Hubby is a sports-monster, hence two times in the water was not enough for him and he wanted to swim a bit more. But I went back to the beach and slowly, relaxed I went out. I really took my time, because with each step the hot sun warmed my skin and that felt great after being in the cool water. 

I turned around to see where hubby was and I could see him far out in the water. I stood there, right at the water’s edge. Then I turned around to go to our little spot where we had a blanket, bath sheets and dry clothes. I thought that there were a few people looking at me, but I didn’t really bother, because I felt cool, white swimsuit and tanned skin is something I really like, so I felt really good…. until I looked down my chest. I had expected that you could maybe see a little shade of my nipples. I had not wanted that, but you could never know. Well, I absolutely had had no idea. My swimsuit was almost invisible because it was wet. So, I stood there, only dressed with an almost completely see-through swimsuit and our bath sheets were still a little walk away from where I was. People were watching.  Some were ignoring me, which I was grateful for. Some were almost excited. After all you could see everything there was to see. Since I had come out of the cool water, my nips were erect too, of course. And when you feel self-conscious about them, nips do never appear small, no, they poke through everything and are huge. If only that had been a nudist beach. I would have felt better there.

I mean, I don’t mind walking around naked, at home. At the beach I’d maybe take off my top, to get a tan without the silly white strips. But I’d do that preferably with one of my friends, because she’d do the same and then it is not really embarrassing. But I wasn’t prepared for wearing an invisible swimsuit among the crowd, for everyone to enjoy. 

So, I tried to walk straight line to our little place, as if nothing extraordinary was going on. There were several men whose eyes almost fell out, as if they’d never seen a woman in a transparent swimsuit. Hmmm, coming to think of it, they probably really never had. Anyway, preserving some dignity was what I wanted to, so I went along the beach as if I’d always walk virtually naked along beaches. A short moment later I was back, took a bath sheet and my sunglasses. Bath sheet first, ok, all covered. Sun glasses next. Ok, nobody would see my embarrassment. Apart from the red glow all over my face and ears, that is.

I did not go swimming again that day!