EsMay and Sara's questions and answer

Sara: What do you enjoy most about being in a DD/TTWD relationship?

EsMay: What are you most happy with in your marriage since you started DD?

If it is ok for you, I’d like to combine the answers to your questions into one , because our marriage and dd have started at the same time and I would not have had marriage without dd.

Sara, EsMay, thank you for your questions, I think this is going to be a longer answer. :) It got me into thinking about hubby and me a bit, therefore I apologize If I am not too light-heartedly in my answer.

Compared to the non-DD relationships I had, I can say, everything is better now. But I guess, that’s pretty vague and there are some points for me that are outstanding.

I think I have never ever in my whole life felt so much cared for and loved for than with hubby. We have had DD from the beginning of our marriage and I pretty much just take so much of it for granted, because it has always been there. But sometimes I can feel the differences so much, or I suddenly realize just how good this is. Since hubby and I are talkers, we enjoy a lot that we can communicate openly and closely. We are in our cozy bed and talk, and often this leads to alternative ways of connecting, which we also enjoy.  Our way of talking is probably at the core of most of our being together.

I have never before hubby had someone who fulfills my needs. I have a husband who spends time with me and understands me. I don’t always get what I want, because that’s not always important, but hubby makes sure that I get what I need. Similarly, he is a really protective type when it comes to family and me. And that’s something I cherish. I need this feeling of being protected and I really can enjoy that too. Actually, it is the feeling of being safe that I need even more. I feel like a queen in her castle then. It’s a pleasant feeling. 

There is one thing which also goes deeper than anything I have experienced that way before. It’s trust. I am gullible and I am prone to trust too easily, but with hubby it is all right. I have never trusted a man more than him and I think that our mutual trust has grown over time. For me, there is a connection between DD and this trust we have. When I go over hubby’s lap, I trust him, I do, I enjoy this in a way. When the punishment starts, I don’t enjoy that, but I can lean back later and enjoy much about the situation and also am able to identify that I did trust hubby in that moment when I was chastised. Trusting your loved one makes it easy to accept discipline, too. And there is something erotic about spankings, even if they are not the bedroom-type.

With discipline, I learned to relax, to let problems go, not to let them grow beyond proportion. We use discipline as a means to take down my frustration and also to give me the feeling that an issue is settled. Often enough I have to feel that physically, or I’ll never let it rest. Additionally, through discipline, maintenance and also simple bedroom-type spankings, we connect to a degree that I also have not experienced before hubby and before DD. I have written in some entry that sex has a transcendental quality at times, and I’d also claim that for some spankings and the way they bring hubby and me together beyond words. We are simply connected and in a complete state of harmony then. This connection is even deeper when I have been corrected, because  I have broken rules before, or I have had a moment of resistance.

What I have not mentioned yet are submission and obedience. They have always been part of our relationship and I am very glad about that. I love when I can show hubby my submission and I enjoy being obedient. I have my chance to show hubby all this and he encourages me with it. It makes me feel more complete and a day when I can show submission is usually a far better one than a day when I cannot. Though there are always exceptions to that, of course.

And then there is hubby’s love. Maybe I sound mental now, but this is the one love I have never ever doubted. I wanted to mention that, because it is part of the complete picture.

So, there are love, care, protection, safety, trust, communication, and a connection between hubby and me which I have never experienced before he was there. My needs are fulfilled by him and into this life of ours there is DD interwoven in many ways. All this creates something which is absolutely unique, at least for me. And even though I don’t always take the time to see and enjoy what we have, I sometimes review what we do and where we are and this moment, when I realize that our situation is special, it’s the  best, and it is when I cry out of happiness, like now. :) They are really good tears, I love that. 

So, this all adds up to one huge package of happiness and joy for us/me. Occasionally, I feel how much I am fully engulfed in all this and it makes me happy. Additionally, I have this feeling that I am very much at the center of hubby’s attention for a lot of his time. I love hubby endlessly for that, but try to show that in a way which really tells him that I am fully aware of his love.

Let’s see, I have a loving husband, he also is my guide (he really is!), he provides for us, he gives me the structured life I crave, he is there for me, he is in charge, we have grown over time because we have dealt with difficulties over time, we are close, we care. Hmmm, I think I feel more than happy with our marriage. :)

In my idea of perfect marriage, I’d love to have the baby we are waiting for. So, when we really are blessed in that way, if everything works out till October and baby will finally be there, alive and kicking, I wouldn’t have words for it, because it would go beyond any experience of happiness that I have ever known. 

P.S.:I really have tried hard to identify one trait that makes me happiest or I enjoy most. The only single trait that would qualify at all, was hubby.

A place called 'Smacking bottom'

This is what can happen when fatigue meets hormones. I hope I did not overdo it, though.

I have imagined what blogland would look like, if it were a place like any other on earth. At first I thought, well, maybe not really densely populated, maybe like a few farms in the countryside and surrounded by many fields and some woods, many birds and bees.

Then I started looking at the list of blogs that I alone do follow and thought 'there are many neighbours who you do not see as often as you should. Many neighbours.' So I thought it over and had this idea, maybe it is a place like the village of the smurfs, from tv or the cinema. A place full of harmony and many good ideas and the bloggers in it are very busy with so many different activities, online and offline.

I followed some of the links and immediately found that there are people everywhere who obviously are neighbours of my neighbours from blogland. Therefore blogland must be far bigger. It turned out that there are hundreds and thousands of blogs. Therefore blogland is huge. Maybe I only live in a small village, like 'Smacking bottom' or 'DD-ville' and not far away from 'CDD-grove' and far away are places with unknown people who do not speak the language of people from 'Smacking bottom'.

So, I took a few of my pretzel-sticks which I like to eat in the evening these days and thought that I should walk along the main street of 'Smacking bottom'. I saw lovely houses there, where lovely people live. There was one where a red-haired woman lived with her husband. She had a huge meadow with dandelions around her house and the house was close to the coast. They even had a beach where they'd go and he would go surfing while she enjoyed scrunching her toes into the warm sand and write slogans into it.

There was another house, where the owner and his wife had redecorated everything, from pastel colours to pink and a background in different shades of grey. You'd see that they are also always busy, coming and leaving the house, so that the spanking implements that are hanging everywhere are clattering against the walls. Even though, there are blue butterflies that feel attracted to the house enormously. An old hat has been left at the veranda, not far away from a group of hearts and a beautiful bunch of white flowers.

I went on and had to pass a few houses which were at the bottom of a group of hills, and on top of it there lived a nice head of household who is married to a wife who obviously likes bright red skirts. He is very sympathetic and although he says he is American and he also admits that Canadians are better at hockey, I assume that is just a ruse to distract from the fact that his house must surely be on the Canadian side of the border, because he is as friendly as Canadians are said to be, eh ;) (Nothing against Americans, please, just teasing a HoH here).

On I went and passed by a community building, all in blue. It was located close to the beach, too, with wonderful blue water and two lovers walking along the beach. They must be two of those group of people who either lived in the community building most of the time or now and then. It was a happy and friendly group of people who lived there and you could hear American, English, Australian, Canadian and many other accents. 

There are so many buildings here, and I don't know half of the nice people here as well as I'd love to. There is a house with pheasant feathers all over the place. Another one was obviously built by faeries. Some houses here are plain white with little colour, some others are green or red. You'll find all kind of nice and cozy places in 'Smacking bottom'. 

I think many do not even know that I kept peeping into their places, because I never said hello to them. Well, I'll try to be better, but a nice stroll through 'Smacking bottom' can really take a lot of time, I tell you. So many visits and only a little time, how sad. I'd love to spend more time here, just because of all the things going on.

Can you imagine how exciting it is, when you go along the street and suddenly you hear a HoH lecturing his wife? Well, what does he say? Oh, sounds all familiar. Ah, overspending? Oh, procrastinating? Oh no, being bratty? Then you can hear the familiar sounds of setting the records straight, then there is reunion and happiness and lots of understanding and love.

I think 'Smacking bottom' is a very good place to live in. You can come and go whenever you want, meet, talk, laugh, find sympathy and support and much more.

Since it had become late, I went back home, through a dark green forest, but it is very idyllic there, like everywhere in 'Smacking bottom'. I opened the door and thought, 'I love this nice village with all the friendly and warm-hearted people in it. They are very caring and open-minded. And now I'd love to have a huge and fresh cucumber...on my washing machine Hank' :) 

(I cannot stop myself in these moments, it's impossible for me - it's the hormones:)  )

I have learned that March is question month in blogland. So if you have questions, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer. 

My good friend - the washing machine :)

Ok, this is the final proof that my hormones have taken over, because currently, my libido has reached an all time high. Hubby has always had his way with me and that has always been so exciting that I would not have thought it possible to ever reach a moment where my sexdrive would go beyond what I have had up to now. 

But since Tuesday, I have felt like a sex-emergency from the moment I woke up till bedtime, and it does not stop when I am in bed. Hubby is very pleased with that, because I am responsive to the smallest sexual allusions and I am fantasizing about sex in the most inappropriate moments, too. Go into the kitchen and try to cut a long and thick cucumber, very fresh and juicy, hard and good-looking…. You see the epic dimension of my problem….yes, there are a lot of fresh veggies in our kitchen. :) 

And there is no way out. If I go to the washing machine I feel like jumping right onto it and let it start. First the quick wash program, for the first aid of the needy one on top of it. And afterwards I want the really slow and long wash program.  For the third round I could use the delicate wash .... If only I could. I have to stop myself from getting too near to the washing machine, because this is so tempting. :) I have just leaned against it this morning, only for a moment while it was spinning and it felt so good. I felt as if I was glued to it, but since I am not allowed to do that what I wanted to, I left the room quickly. But if my libido goes on being like that,  I will have to give our washing machine a nice name to make it easier for me to be friends with it. ;) 

Have you ever tried to go shopping while you are full of naughty thoughts about everything?  Try not to watch men, try not to compare your breasts to other women. I am pretty glad that I did not need to go shopping for dresses this week. Half naked in a dressing room and naughty  fantasies. OmG. If this continues for longer, I will either ask hubby to go shopping for me, or I will ask him for sex before shopping. I am serious about it. This is the first time ever in my life that I have looked at some of the men's bodybuilding magazines of our newsagents and thought they are cute guys.

Well, at the moment it is a little awkward, but later today, when hubby returns, we'll see. Seriously, it is not  as it was when hubby denied orgasms last year, it's just that I am the epitome of the horny housewife at the moment. It might change again in a few days, it's just the hormones and actually I feel wonderful. But I guess I have never had more ideas about what the things in and around the house could be used for if I took them to the bedroom. :) 

Safety

No baby-news today, but  this is related to doing the right thing.

Safety - this is one of the rules which is pretty important for us, now more than before. Somehow I guess it has been more important for hubby than for me in the past. It's about personal safety, not taking risks, endangering yourself or anybody else. 

If you have read other entries here you know that I have been speeding-challenged. Driving recklessly has been one of my favourite pastimes for a longer period of time. I absolutely enjoy driving fast and the police are not always there to stop fast subs! This has been one of the issues that we  I  really had to work on. I think that hubby helped there a lot, because what I kept doing was endangering lives, maybe those of other people but definitely my own. 

 As you can probably all see, such behaviour is driving hubby absolutely crazy and I really am sorry for the problems that I have caused. From today's point of view, I have no excuse for my behaviour and try hard to stick to speedlimits. The pain I'd cause for hubby was the first reason that got me thinking seriously, hurting him is something I cannot stand. I am not sure if I really should admit that, but the image of seeing hubby devastated is what lets me try hardest to drive slowly and carefully, of all possible reasons. We had to discuss that matter repeatedly in verbal and physical ways and I have become better over time :) .

But let me assure you, in my current situation I would never risk anything because I'd endanger someone who cannot leave the car and take the next bus home.

Similarly, I'd never ever drink alcohol at all for the next months. If I were a smoker, I wouldn't do that till October, because at the moment everything always revolves around 'us'. Hubby would never allow risking baby’s well-being anyway, of course, and since we are both trying hard to do things right, we don’t expect problems from that side. After all, I have realised completely that my responsibility has grown, too. I love that, and it sort of lets me think again about some rules we have.

10 things every woman should know and some bathroom stuff

Now, this is one of the links  to another video again. I thought that what is said there is rather poetic and absolutely positive.

Bathroom stuff

And sorry if I appear lazy at the moment. I guess I am adapting physically more than was obvious in my post where I wrote there's no morning sickness for me. Well, that's true, though maybe a too hasty announcement, because instead I have a sort of evening sickness :) , which means I can eat a huge load of everything in the morning but only tiny bits, if anything, in the evening, or else. 

And the doctor warned me that I'll need to go to the loo more often, once baby presses down on the bladder. Yes, she definitely knows what she's talking about. I ran to the loo all the time during last night's chat. I've alrady had ideas about snatching hubby's laptop and staying in the bathroom for next weekend... :)

But honestly, at the moment I can absolutely enjoy every minor inconvenience, because it just shows that everything is the way it should be and that's all we want to be sure about. So, if you ever see hubby looking for the laptop and hear the toilet flush and me giggling behind the door, all is as it should be :) 

 

Haircuts are sexy :)

I know I have written about cutting hubby’s hair before. But he told me that I will have to be ready at 11 am for cutting his hair. Ok, lots of things to do for me then: scissors, towel, a chair, all ready in the bathroom. Ok, all that’s left is to undress, then :) . You probably know what’s coming now. But I am really excited about cutting hubby’s hair, because it is so much fun to do with me teasing him and him reacting, and also teasing me. The result of me cutting hubby’s hair is almost always the same, short spike, military style. 

 

Actually, as long as we turn hair cutting into the sexy affair it is, anything else wouldn’t really work, because I am wriggling and squirming a little now and then, when hubby touches the right spots. Try to stand still and focus on the hair with your partner’s hand between your legs and actively trying to arouse you. And then don't forget that I also try to move around him innocently, only to cut his hair, of course. Occasionally, my breasts might be right in front of his nose (maybe more his nose between my breasts), and I am standing there with one of his legs between mine, but that's all pure coincidence, of course ... :) 

So, in a way, cutting hair is a kind of foreplay, for what will surely follow in the shower :). I mean, after all you have to rub off all the cut little pieces of hair from everywhere, haven’t you ? I love washing hubby from head to toe and do all the nice things that two can do in a shower. And hubby enjoys these moments too, as I can see and feel. ... I think I’ll double-check that all is prepared, just to make sure it will all be fine.

Currently, this is still the pre-haircut time (20 min. left) , but I am already fidgety and waiting for it to start. I am insatiable, I know. 

Enjoy your Sundays and I really hope you find your hair-cutting moment too, it’s definitely a good one :)